The LWAT Plan for London’s Future

Posted on March 24, 2023 by katese11

That sounds grand, doesn’t it? Well, I should clarify that I have not been asked to contribute to the future of London and that’s probably for the best. I seem to be managing several projects at the moment and none of them are going well. If I can’t plan a bathroom, how can I plan a city?

Still, that doesn’t stop me from sticking my oar in. You may well have seen the announcement today that TfL are planning to detangle the London Overground ball of string and name each of its six component lines a proper tube line name. What are the six, you may wonder? Well, I wondered that too and am extremely grateful to Twitter user Jasper Walker for sharing this 2015 proto-tube map which gives us a good idea of what TfL are planning.

Source: Twitter user @JaJaWa

So essentially the Barking line, which runs from Barking to Gospel Oak. The  East London line which takes in the old East London line from Shoreditch to New Cross but also the sprawling bits at the ends, to West Croydon, Clapham Junction and Highbury and Islington. The Emerson Park line, which took me ages to find but it’s that stubby one between Romford and Upminster, linking up the District line and TfL Rail. The Lea Valley line, which is actually three lines out of Liverpool Street – our branch to Chingford but also the bits to Cheshunt and Enfield Town. The North London line which takes in a fair bit of North London but also Stratford in the East and Clapham Junction and Richmond in the South. And finally, the Watford local line which goes….to Watford.

But I have my own ideas.

Let’s take that list in reverse order. I don’t have a beef with the Watford line. I mean, if you want to go anywhere on that line that’s not Basically Watford, then you’d take the Bakerloo line wouldn’t you? So it really is for people who love to go to Watford. I’m not one of those people cause yknow, traumatic memories but there are probably people who have never vomited at a Singalong Sound of Music in those parts. And that’s not even the trauma I’m talking about.

(I was pregnant with Reuben at the time. There weren’t many places I didn’t vomit)

The North London line I’m not so keen on. There are so many stations along that line that are not, by any stretch of the imagination, in North London. Hackney? Kew Gardens? Acton? So I’ve gone with the mildly fanciful Lavenderfield line. It’s named after Lavender Hill at one end – which is the road that Clapham Junction station is on – and Westfield at Stratford at the other.  Along the way, it passes by another Westfield at Shepherd’s Bush and the Richmond branch sweeps past the aforementioned Kew Gardens, which makes the plants references quite appropriate. If only it stopped at London Fields, it would be perfect but it goes pretty darn close. And of course Hampstead Heath takes up a chunk of the line in the middle and that’s basically one big field, right?

Almost as fanciful is my choice for our part of the world – Liverpool Street to Chingford, Cheshunt and Enfield Town. We have the Waterloo & City and the Hammersmith & City so why not the Forest & City? It’s the perfect name for the Chingford branch because when you get off at Chingford, you can be in Epping Forest in five minutes. And at the other end, you step out into the heart of the City of London. Admittedly, it’s not so perfect when you think about alighting in Enfield Town, which I haven’t been to but Streetview suggests the station surrounds are mainly betting shops and Chubby Burgers. Or Cheshunt, which might be pleasant but is a bit of a trek from Epping Forest. So yeah, I entirely named it after the Chingford branch. So sue me.

The Emerson Park line is a funny little line which deserves one of those funny little names that tourists love so much. It goes from Romford to Upminster so how about the Rompup line? It trips off the tongue like Pimlico does and makes the whole RM postcode area sound much more whimsical than it actually is.

As for the East London line – again that needs a little geographical realigning. Peckham isn’t East London and neither is Dalston really – despite its E postcode, it’s right on the cusp of Ns 1 and 16. But what *do* these areas have in common? That’s right! I present to you the Hipster line. When you think about it, it makes total sense for a line that links Shoreditch and Hackney to Peckham and New Cross. I mean, Peckham was never hipster when we lived near there but apparently times have changed. Even when we were there a few years back, times did indeed seem to be changing….it was all toddler indie discos and flat whites instead of stabbing and suspicious pic n mix.

That leaves just one, which in some ways is the easiest. Why would you mess with perfection? The Gospel Oak to Barking Line has forever been the Goblin line and has always proved itself worthy of the name as it does indeed seem to be run by very angry goblins who love 2-carriage trains. Even if it does get renamed, no one will ever call it anything else.

So there we go….TfL, my consulting services come at a very reasonable price….I look forward to my complimentary Oyster card arriving in the post anytime now…

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A Day in Sweden – 17/02/23

Posted on February 22, 2023 by katese11

OK, here’s the misleading second post I promised you. We didn’t actually spend a day in Sweden – it was pretty much just a morning in Sweden. But it matched the last post so there’s that consistency you’re looking for.

One of the reasons we went to Copenhagen was the prospect of being able to shoehorn an extra country into a very short trip. Reuben has a scratch-off map of Europe that gathered dust during the lockdown years and we’re determined to try and get it filled in. So a holiday where we could just nip over to Sweden for the morning seemed ideal.

Besides, it was raining in Denmark. It would be better in Sweden, right?

Wrong.

We’d started the day at the sumptuous breakfast buffet at Hotel Scandia where we ate plentiful Danish pastries and (for the carnivores among us) some very good Danish bacon as well. Then we set off on the short walk to the station in what was a considerable downpour.

Buying tickets to Sweden is pretty easy – there’s a machine inside the station with a Swedish flag on it and the instructions can be put into English. I should have mentioned that you can pay by card at all these machines and, in fact, everywhere in Copenhagen. We didn’t use cash once and ended up having to try and spend it at the airport.

There is some kind of subtlety around the type of ticket you get tho, as on the way back we tried to get on an SJ train from Malmö to Copenhagen and were told that we needed an SJ ticket for that. We assumed we’d just be travelling on the same Øresundståg trains that we got from the airport and that did seem to work for the way there. Just make sure you don’t try and get on the wrong train on the way back.

Another thing to note is that dogs are only allowed on certain carriages. Which is worth knowing because Hans and Crumble had come with us for the trip:

As you might guess, the stunning views from the Øresund Bridge were slightly less impressive than normal in the mist and rain. Still, it was exciting to cross over the artificial island of Peberholm and then the vast, choppy waters of the Sound. Less exciting was a long wait at Hyllie station but then we got moving and soon arrived at Malmö C.

When I was researching this trip, I saw some advice that said to alight one stop before Malmö Central, at a station called Triangeln. It apparently opened straight into a shopping mall and had a funky glass roof. When I read that, I wasn’t overly inspired but turns out it would have been a very smart move because my actual plan – wander round Malmö and see what we find – was not entirely waterproof.

So we left the station and wandered around to see what we could find. And initially, not a lot. Malmö seems to be one of those towns  – like Calais – that exist as a transport hub rather than a destination in their own right. I might be judging it harshly by the few hours we spent there but there didn’t seem to be a lot of things open so it was hard to really get a flavour of the town. Where Copenhagen seems overflowing with hipster coffee shops, Malmö doesn’t seem to have quite gentrified yet, though we did spot one later in the day, in this old theatre:

There was also a Brewdog which seemed a bit innocuous next to its more traditional neighbours but is perhaps a sign that the hipsters are on their way. I’ll leave it up to you as to whether that’s a good thing or not.

At one point we noticed a church had its doors opened and nipped inside for a quick respite from the torrential rain but the priest looked surprised to see random people walking in and so we walked back out.

Eventually I took to Google Maps to see if there was somewhere we could go to for coffee and some entertainment. My phone was struggling with a new country’s mobile network and also a considerable amount of rain on its screen so it wasn’t being overly co-operative. The first suggestion I spotted  – the Disgusting Food Museum – seemed like a bad idea just before lunch. But the Moderna Museet was a better prospect and after a few wrong turns we found it. It’s quite distinctive as it’s bright orange and has these rotating poles just outside:

And inside there was cake and refillable coffee. Hooray!

We slowly thawed out and dried out and then put our wet coats in the cloakroom to have a look around the exhibitions. There are also free lockers (all named after artists) to stash any bags.

I don’t really understand modern art but I was grateful to be out of the rain and finally engaging with some Swedish culture. The exhibition was called “Skymningsland” – “Twilight Land” – and there were a number of video installations, as well as some outsize sculpture:

One of the videos took place in an entirely dark room where screens showed the artist portraying luminescent fish. It was oddly soothing. Then we watched a 16-minute film called “Climate Change Propaganda” which was in English but also quite accusatory towards the English. Which is an odd position to be in as a visitor to the country. Still, it featured both wolves and Thanos so the kids were happy.

Reuben also liked this picture, which he thought was impressive:

All in all we spent around an hour at the museum which was good as it wasn’t huge and it only cost us around 100 Swedish Kroner to get in. We hadn’t seen anywhere particular for lunch so at the kids’ insistence we lunched back at the station. Reuben wanted to try a Swedish meatball sub from Subway but they didn’t have meatballs so he just had the same chicken and bacon sub he has in Highams Park all the time. Travel really does broaden the mind, doesn’t it?

It’s worth noting that, if you’re looking for trains back to Denmark from Sweden, you won’t see “Copenhagen” or “København” on the boards. It’s something like “Köpenhamn” in Swedish, which seems obvious when you write it down but did raise some questions in my mind as we went to catch the train. Not as many questions as this sign did though:

I’ve already mentioned that you should not get the SJ train back but luckily the trains are very regular and while you wait, there’s a cool train-window video installation to look at:

We got back to Copenhagen speedily and it was only when we are the airport the next day that I found out we were just in time. The Øresund Bridge was closed due to the weather conditions mid-afternoon and other people with a similar plan to ours had found themselves stranded in the wrong country. So we were pretty lucky.

As we got back to the hotel, the weather was just breaking and we caught a glimpse of Copenhagen blue sky for the first time:

Just in time to go and hang out in darkened rooms for a few hours. A few seconds’ walk from our hotel was the Planetarium and we’d promised Eva that we’d find time to visit. She’s going through a bit of a space phase at the moment so I knew she’d like it. It’s relatively pricey – DKK800 including a refundable deposit of DKK200 for English-language headsets – but our time in Copenhagen was limited and it was something we knew we wanted to do. I think we were there for two hours including the film so got a fair bit of value for our money. If we’d gone earlier in the day, we could have taken part in the workshops but obviously when going from our hotel to something a few metres away, it is essential to take a diversion via another country.

The first thing you see as you walk into the exhibitions is a big dark room. This was becoming a theme. There are interactive screens where you can stand in a little circle of light and command the space dust:

And a similar exhibit in the next room where you can make stars follow in your footsteps and occasionally go supernova:

At one point, the whole room went dark and we witnessed the Big Bang:

Every ticket includes a film in the dome at the top of the building. There’s a lift up but it’s small and there was a bit of a queue so we took the stairs. There were quite a lot of them:

Our film was about a plucky hamster who builds a rocket out of a surprisingly well-equipped junkyard. The film was fine, even if Reuben objected to its attempts to educate him, and we had the English dialogue through our headsets. But it was the standard pre-film film “Journey to Space” which was really impressive. Eva genuinely thought the seats were moving as we flew through the solar system and even I was gripping our seat arms. It’s what you go to a planetarium for, really…and don’t tell Reuben but it was also educational.

Back downstairs there was another exhibition called “Saturn’s Rings”. The kids sped through this one as I was getting the deposit back for the headsets but there were different meteors on stands and an interactive bit where you could feel the weight of moonrock:

Then we went back through the first room we’d been in cause the kids enjoyed it so much:

And that is probably where I’ll leave our Scandinavian adventure, before I get bogged down with the horrors of trying to board a Ryanair flight. If you do fancy a 72-hour jaunt, I would recommend it. There was so much more we could have done and both Malmö and Copenhagen would probably be glorious in the summer when we could properly explore the parks and go to the beaches. So who knows? We may just be back…

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A Day in Denmark – 16/02/23

Posted on February 19, 2023 by katese11

I’ll admit that this blog post title is a bit misleading but don’t worry…the next blog post title will also be misleading so I’m being consistent. We didn’t actually go to Denmark for a day although Nathan and I have done that before. We learnt the hard way that a four-hour visit to Esbjerg Fish Museum does not make up for 24 hours on a very rough North Sea ferry. Doesn’t Nathan still look a bit green in this photo?

This time we flew and the whole enterprise took more like three days than one. But I thought it was a catchy title and I’ll explain as I go along.

The first few hours away from home were neither interesting nor in Denmark….but I’ll explain them anyway in case they’re useful to others. Our flight was at 6:40 on Thursday morning and so, after doing some maths, I decided to book a hotel at Stansted the night before to avoid Nathan having to drive in the ungodly hours. We only live 25 minutes from Stansted (as long as the M11 isn’t closed) but it was much more relaxed doing that drive on the Wednesday evening rather than in the morning. Plus, the price for hotel plus parking combined wasn’t much more than just booking longstay parking on its own.  We stayed at the Novotel, which is right next to M11, and the parking was all very straightforward once I looked at the documents for this year instead of the ones from 2019. Hey, even the best-laid plans can go awry, right?

It wasn’t an amazing night’s sleep as we were a bit cramped and one of us kept kicking another one of us but I was never going to sleep well knowing that we had to be up at 3 and out by 4. But we made it and were on the 4am shuttle bus to the terminal which got us there around 4:10 (for a sum of £4 per adult). Remarkably, Stansted was pretty much flawless – maybe it was because ours was one of the first flights of the day but we checked in our suitcase in less than 5 minutes, breezed through Security and were eating a Wetherspoons breakfast by 5am. I know, I should boycott Wetherspoons but sometimes it is a necessary evil. And it’s a necessary evil with a good breakfast.

From there, everything continued smoothly. We took off on time, landed ahead of time and found ourselves in a modern art corridor at Copenhagen airport around 9am local time.

Once we’d got our suitcase back, we followed signs for the “Tog” (train) and found a bank of ticket machines which could sell us a ticket to København H  – Copenhagen Central Station. The train line was the Øresundstag, which were grey trains with red writing, and it seemed to run every 15 minutes or so. It’s a few minutes walk from Arrivals to the station platform so allow for that – and for buying a ticket – but again, it was a pretty smooth process. I managed to get the ticket I needed without putting the machine into English but there’s a button to do that which probably would have helped.

Anyway, we arrived in central Copenhagen around 10 and walked to the Hotel Scandia to leave our luggage there, ahead of our 3pm check in time. The smiley man at the desk offered us an upgrade to a suite with immediate check in for a very reasonable price but I could feel the early start catching up with me and I knew that if we took his offer we’d all crash out and miss most of our day.

So we pressed on and went to a hipster coffee shop called Social Brew where we fuelled up on coffee, hot chocolate and pastries. I must confess at this point that I didn’t really attempt to speak any Danish the whole time we were there, apart from saying “tak” every so often. I usually try to use a few words but so many of the places we went to had the menus in English and the staff spoke English to other customers in front of us, even if neither party was actually English. So I gave into it and just used English wherever we went. I’ll have to go back to Austria sometime to make me feel like less of a monoglot.

Once we were caffeinated, we headed into what looked like the main part of town on the map. I didn’t have an aim in mind, just to wander and see what we could see. The weather wasn’t amazing – drizzly and misty – but, again, we knew we didn’t have time to waste. So we started walking in an north-easterly kind of direction to see what we found.

The first thing we found were these statues, which represented the planets of the solar system along with their respective gods:

I think the spacing was meant to be proportionate as the first four were clustered together on one plinth. We’ve seen similar ideas on the Isle of Wight and at Ruislip Lido but these looked like they had been there longer than either of those.

There were a few space-related things to see in Copenhagen but we’ll get on to those later.  At this point, we were skirting around the edges of Tivoli Gardens which is one of the main tourist attractions but isn’t open in February. The kids were delighted to spot the Kahoot! offices and were also amused to see an Irish pub next to and English pub (the Scottish pub was just around the corner) with a Burger King and McDonald’s facing each other across the street. We were truly in an international kind of city and one that felt reassuringly familiar.

Crossing Hans Christian Anderson Boulevard felt like we were moving into the older part of the city. The plaza outside the Rådhus was under construction so not quite the old-school elegance you might see in the brochures. It was still raining so I hoped we might stumble across somewhere of interest where we could shelter for a bit. The first place we saw that the kids *might* like was Warhammer and I think we’d looked around one of those in Windsor a few years when on a similarly rainy walk. It is a very specialist shop and although my kids are of the geeky persuasion, they are not yet painting tiny figurines. But it boded well for more geeky shops they might like and sure enough, we soon found a generic games shop with an impressive array of dice options. The little dice goblin was in her element.

Then we found the big hitter – Faraos Cigarer, which was a shop for live action role playing. They had weaponry and armour and a mocked up tavern with bottles of mead. “Everything is so cool” squealed Eva while I tried to persuade Reuben not to wield *all* the swords.

We didn’t buy anything because we were travelling light and an adult-size full-body shield is not travelling light. But it made the DnDers of the family very happy. The same brand also had a comic shop across the road but I had had enough geekery for now and was ushering the rest of them towards some culture.

And here it was  – the Rundetaarn or the Round Tower. See if you can figure out how it got that name.

For around 100DKK (about £10) the four of us could shelter from the rain and climb the spiral ramp to look out over all of Copenhagen. The climb is fairly steep but easier if you stick to the the bit near outside wall, which is more steps but a gentler gradient.

Along the way there are glimpses of the magnificent church that the tower is attached to:

And hidey holes just big enough for a skinny teen:

At the top of the ramp there’s a 360 degree viewing platform which would be spectacular in sunshine but was still pretty good in the drizzle:

It’s accessed by a short flight of spiral stairs which has a one-way system controlled by red and green lights. Reuben took this all a bit too literally and was counting down the seconds until the green light, regardless of whether there was anyone coming down the other way. From the viewing platform there was another tiny flight of steps up to a mini-planetarium which was closed on the day we were there but you could still get the idea.

On the way back down Eva wanted to have a look at the art exhibition that was off to one side. Unfortunately she doesn’t quite understand how glass works and walked straight into a glass wall. The exhibition was pretty tho:

All that climbing had given us an appetite so we headed to the nearest hipster burger place – Jagger, which was a couple of minutes’ walk away. Eva had the halloumi burger, which she rated delicious, and I had a very nice Katsu burger. It wasn’t super cheap but nothing in Copenhagen is…and it was very relaxed, which was what we needed after a long morning.

Revived by some food we decided to wander a little further and discovered the Kongens Have – the King’s Garden. It probably wasn’t the ideal day to visit but we admired the extremely rectangular trees:

And hung out in the sandy playground a bit:

The gardens are home to one of Copenhagen’s castles  – the Rosenborg Slot  –  and something intriguingly called “the Jazz Lawn” although it didn’t look overly jazzy.

There was also a statue of Hans Christian Anderson, which had a QR to hear him talk. I think the sound file might be slightly confused though, as the statue mentioned being on his own boulevard and pigeons pooping on his top hat. This statue was a long way from the boulevard we’d crossed earlier and definitely didn’t have a top hat. There is another statue which matches the description but we didn’t manage to swing by and check if it had the corresponding file.

Overthinking about HCA made me realise quite how tired I was and quite how far away from the hotel we were. We turned around and started walking back through town, with a stop at the Lego Store on the way. I mean, you have to do something Lego-related when you’re in Denmark, don’t you? Eva built some minifigs  – Lute Girl, Blue-Hair Guy and Karen – and we all got scanned by the minifig machine to see who we would be. Eva’s was a bit terrifying:

There was also a very cute rendering of Copenhagen in Lego:

As we wandered back to the hotel, I started wondering about finding a toilet. Near the courthouse, there was a pissoir which I rightly assumed was only for boys. Happily, the other side of the cubicle was a “Missoir” which was the equivalent for girls. Sadly, it was exactly like a pissoir for girls – a hole in the ground with instructions on how to squat. We moved on. Fortunately there was a much better equipped bathroom in the Metro station outside the Rådhus so I didn’t need to master the Copenhagen Squat. 

And on that delightful note, I will leave you for now. As predicted, as soon as we checked into the hotel we pretty much crashed out, only emerging to buy some food at the local store for a hotel room picnic. Eva, inventive as ever, had a crisp-and-homous pitta pizza:

We had another day and another country to tick off but that is another post…

 

 

 

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“Buffy Revamped” at Wilton’s Music Hall – 13/01/23

Posted on January 14, 2023 by katese11

Happy New Year! It’s not been a very exciting January (is it ever?) but I knew we had something fun lined up for last night as we had Nathan’s Christmas present to go to. It might have been a bit of a present for myself as well.  I wasn’t going to review it cause sometimes I like to go to the theatre without having homework to do afterwards….but the writer and sole performer Brendan Murphy asked us to share our thoughts on social media and who am I to refuse?

First off, the venue! It was my first time at Wilton’s and it’s an amazing venue. An old music hall, tucked away near the Tower of London, that’s been restored and reopened. It took us about an hour to get there from HP and we could have walked from Liverpool Street if it hadn’t been so dang cold but it was so we got the 42. I used to work in Wapping so I knew where we were but not exactly where we were going. Luckily a blue sign off Royal Mint Street and the large stream of people Our Age heading in the opposite direction gave me a pretty good clue that we were in the right place. The earlier show of “Buffy: Revamped” had just finished and from the look of the people leaving, we were most definitely target audience.

Nathan went to the bar while I nipped to the loo and I was impressed that, despite how crowded it was, he’d been served by the time I got back. I was only away for the length of “Stupid Girl” by Garbage, so that’s good going. The pre-show playlist was another indicator that this show was aimed at people who were young in the 90s….it was back-to-back 90s indie girl rock and we most definitely sang along as we took our seats on the balcony. Off the top of my head, I can remember Hole, Catatonia, Bikini Kill, Cardigans and No Doubt as well as the aforementioned Garbage. Perfect for a night of nostalgia.

Cause I’ll it right now – you could enjoy this show if you’ve never seen Buffy before but it’s not gonna hit home in the same way as it does for us devotees. But judging by some of the t-shirts on display (most notably “Kendra the Vampire Slayer”) we were not the only devotees there. Nathan had his own Buffy-themed t-shirt on, as well as the Spike-like leather coat that he’s worn pretty much constantly since the 90s. It was on theme but almost inadvertently.

So onto the show itself! It promised all seven seasons of Buffy in seventy minutes and somewhere along the line I’d got the impression that it meant every single episode would be covered but I was wrong. And sad to say that the musical episode (BEST. EPISODE. EVER) was skimmed over very quickly…but that was my only gripe. There was a lot packed into that seventy minutes – not just bits from the episodes but songs, slideshows and Anya’s relationship advice.

Brendan Murphy plays Spike as a narrator of sorts but he also plays every other character (except Oz, who was adorably portrayed by a  cuddly toy). Some impressions were more accurate than others – his Giles was spot on – but he certainly gets through a lot of them. I’m trying not to give any spoilers but I loved how he did The Master and his Drusilla impression pretty much broke Nathan. Riley got treated with the disdain he deserved and there were massive cheers for fan favourites like Faith and the Mayor. Wesley, sadly, was too boring to be included and there should have been way more Cordelia but it hits all the right notes.

I’m not a massive fan of “Spuffy” or soulified Spike in general but there’s no denying that Buffy viewers were on Spike’s side pretty much all the time, except for that yicky bit towards the end of Season 6. And it was no different with the audience last night – however evil Spike was, he certainly had the crowd onside. The aforementioned “yicky bit” was addressed and Murphy did a hilarious job of portraying Spike’s confusion at Buffy’s rejection of him through the medium of a classic late 90s pop ballad. He had, apparently, a few questions that he needed to know.

There was a lot of music in the show and, like the pre-show playlist, it was pretty much spot on. It was my teenage years in a nutshell and towards the end there was a big joyous singalong as we recapped the story so far.

So much I could say but won’t because it might spoil the best gags. But I’ll say it’s a great night out for anyone who loves Buffy but still has some burning questions over some of the plot holes. I mean who hasn’t occasionally hollered at the telly: “Hey Joyce, what a lovely new piece of artwork you have…tell me why you thought that was a good idea again?” The material is handled affectionately but not overly reverently which is pretty much spot on for a show that didn’t take itself too seriously. The bit on the Bronze was perfect and something I’ve often pondered about myself. There were gags not just about Buffy but also about other bits of 90s culture  – and more Disney references than you’d expect – so jam-packed with little treats for those of us who remember the last millennium.

Last night was the final performance at Wilton’s but it’s going on tour now  – for tickets and more information, click here. No disclaimer needed as I actually paid for this one – I know, right?? – but opinions, as ever, remain honest and my own.

 

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Ice Rink Canary Wharf – 17/12/22

Posted on December 18, 2022 by katese11

If you’ve followed this blog for a while you’ll know that we always try to have a Nice Family Day Out just before Christmas. I have choir gigs throughout late November and early December so as soon as those are done, it’s family bonding time. Yesterday wasn’t the smoothest but don’t worry! In true “influencer” style I’ll miss out the bad bits and make it look like we pulled off the plan immaculately.

And it was a complex plan. Even though the streets of HP have been like an ice rink these last few days, Eva had expressed a wish to go to an actual ice rink. There weren’t many rinks with Saturday availability at short notice, which is how we ended up in Canary Wharf.

Canary Wharf is a strange place. It’s like people imagine the City to be except the City is full of old buildings alongside the shiny new ones. Canary Wharf is pretty much all shiny. I’ve been there once to go to a corporate away day but have never really wandered about to take in the views. But with the new Elizabeth Line connections, it seems much more manageable to get there. It was a train strike day so we first had to establish whether there were any trains running on the Chingford branch (yes, two an hour till 6pm) and on the Elizabeth Line (yes on the Liverpool Street to Abbey Wood bit, which is what we needed). After a nightmare journey to church on Friday night I was apprehensive but the plan worked fine. We got off at Bethnal Green and walked to Whitechapel:

Which seems to be a completely different station to the one I went to last time I did that change. Impressive tho:

Also, didn’t this used to be the tiger-stripe pub?

The Elizabeth Line worked perfectly and we arrived at Canary Wharf just 45 minutes after leaving Highams Park. Time for a quick coffee before the ice skating. I’ve been wfh for two weeks so Pret has been sending me “U OK Hun?” e-mails saying how much they miss me. Don’t worry Pret – I am still hitting that coffee subscription as hard as I possibly can under the circumstances.

We had been told to arrive 25 minutes before the skating session so that we could sort skates etc. We did that but it’s worth noting that there are no toilets inside the skating pavilion. So if you have a child that decides they need the loo after they’re buckled in….well, they just have to get unbuckled. And if you’re a cruel mother who can’t be bothered to get their shoes back then they will have to tiptoe round the pavements in their socks.

It was only the kids and Nathan skating while I watched. There were lots of good reasons (and no, I’m not pregnant) but the defining one was that we had to pay an adult rate for Reuben so wouldn’t have been able to get a family ticket. But it saved faffing around with lockers to keep the bags in (lockers were available but for a non-refundable £1 coin). Under 12s needed an adult skating with them so one of us needed to go on but Nathan is clearly the more balanced of the two of us so seemed like he was the better choice.

So how did the 1 adult-2 kid combo get on on thin blades on ice? Variable. Nathan held Eva’s hand and she eventually made it to the centre of the rink. Roo mainly stuck to the side but seemed to be enjoying himself. I hung out on the viewing platform and tried to get a decent picture while other people’s teenagers hung out right in front of me. So these photos are not exactly ‘grammable but, as you’ll guess from the first paragraph, I am not actually an influencer.

Although Family Fun was high on the agenda, there were more agenda items to get through and those items involved visiting some shops. There were a few likely shops in Canary Wharf but the majority were higher-end retailers that weren’t quite what we were aiming for. So we planned to get the Elizabeth Line back to Tottenham Court Road. First though, a stop at Five Guys in Jubilee Place and a wander through this enchanted little forest:

Finding the Elizabeth Line was harder than I thought it would be. It seems to be a whole different station to the one where you get the Jubilee line and, weirdly, the Jubilee Line entrance was the one closest to Jubilee Place. So we went into the station and down a couple of escalators before admitting to ourselves that we would have to go back up and out before we found what we were looking for. At one point  we decided to just take the Jubilee Line to Waterloo and then get the Northern Line.

But it was, don’t forget, a train strike day and the Westbound services were more than a little sporadic. There were no indications on the board of when the next train might be but, just as we decided to leave and find the Elizabeth Line, a train arrived, However, it was rammed so back to Plan B it was – climbing up a non-functioning escalator, back through a shopping centre and onto the ‘Liz line all the way to Tottenham Court Road in just a few minutes.

I can’t possibly say why TCR was my destination of choice but we deployed the usual family tactic of splitting into two teams so we could buy presents for each other. Reuben and I had a plan for Nathan and Eva’s gifts so we headed straight to <redacted> and were so efficient that we could bumble around Foyles for a bit before returning to the meeting point. We also wandered around St Giles HighStreet, which has been largely regenerated and is full of interesting street art like this giant dog:

And this tunnel made of lights and pipes:

The meeting point was Outernet, another relatively new landmark but one that Nathan and I briefly visited a few weeks back.

When we went before it was mainly just the Aquarium reel but yesterday there were a few variants. Both kids enjoyed the Christmas songs that accompanied these giant monsters:

Reuben tells me they’re from a video game called the Fall Guys but when I was there with Eva, she just loved the fact that they were singing the same song as she did with her drama group last week – “Merry Xmas Everybody”

This bit was very impressive but hurt my brain because it genuinely looked like we were standing under a tall, pointed roof:

We swapped teams and again I made good time so we again spent some time hanging around St Giles High Street and going to Caffe Nero for a brownie. Eva reckons their brownie is the best of all the chain coffee shops. Sorry Pret!

Eva liked the giant dog and lights and pipes just as much as Roo did:

And also this light-and-pipe sculpture in the middle:

 

Presents bought, it would have been nice to go for another coffee but we could never forget that there would be no trains home after 6. So, for the third time that day the ‘Liz line was calling. And at least we found it first attempt this time….

 

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“Mother Goose” at Hackney Empire – 04/12/22

Posted on December 4, 2022 by katese11

Photos by Manuel Harlan and Mark Senior.

Although my kids are well versed in family theatre shows, I’m not sure how often they’ve been to proper full-length pantomimes. I know Reuben saw one in Winchester but Eva had to be taken out halfway through because the giant was “too dary”. We’ve been to the summer panto at Chickenshed and they were even in my work panto but a traditional panto like the one at Hackney Empire? I’m not sure.

It was time to right that wrong and take Eva to her first full-on “It’s behind you!” panto. Hackney Empire’s production is famous as one of London’s best so I thought it would be an excellent starting point. Plus it’s just down the road from church and we had a meeting all afternoon so the 5:30 show was nicely timed. It meant that we had to miss some sporting event or other but that was not an issue for either of us.

I was slightly concerned that she might find it as terrifying as the Winchester one – large productions can be something of a sensory overload and it was only last year that she had a bit of a breakdown at the Prince of Egypt. And it’s only now that I re-read my review of that show that I realise both productions had an actor in common – Clive Rowe.

Photos by Manuel Harlan and Mark Senior.

Which is funny cause I was planning to mention my Clive Rowe connection in this review. I sang for a few years with Walthamstow Acoustic Massive and Clive was the patron and often guest singer. So we have shared a stage on quite a few occasions but luckily he didn’t haul me up on stage this time. Because Clive in this show is somewhat different to the mild-mannered man I saw at WAM rehearsals. Justin, however, was not so lucky.

Who’s Justin? You may well ask. We will get to that.

Anyway, I shouldn’t have been too concerned about Eva because she handled it all fine. The show starts with smoke and loud bangs and although she wasn’t mad keen on the smoke, she didn’t freak out too much about the bangs like she might have done a few years back. We are making progress. The initial plot was set out – a fairy and a demon queen have a wager over whether the demon queen can corrupt the pure soul of Mother Goose. I thought this felt familiar and spent a while trawling through romcoms of the 90s and Shakespeare plays before realising that this is essentially the plot of the Book of Job.

That sets up the story, all of which takes place in Hackneywood or the dark realm of Dalston. Having spent a fair amount of time in Dalston, I am not disagreeing on that. I did want to point out that there’s no “Dalston Underground” as it only has Overground stations but this is a world where, instead of jumping on the 38 to get between the two, they use a goose-powered hot air balloon. So a bit of poetic licence is allowed I think.

Mother Goose is goodly but poor and her sons (one hapless, one handsome) try to persuade her to be more hardnosed in business and stop giving away her beauty treatments for free. She’s in trouble with Squire Purchase, the local debt collector (played by Tony Marshall) and is only saved when her goose Priscilla starts producing golden eggs – a plot device driven in a somewhat convoluted way by the demon queen in an attempt to make Mother Goose fall in love with money and lose her soul. And – spoiler alert –  it sorta works.

Now, I may point out Macguffins and plot holes but it’s a bit pointless as that’s not really what panto is all about. The more ridiculous a plot device, the better. And if an actor occasionally breaks character and giggles when a bit of improv goes in an unexpected direction – well, that’s all part of the fun.

And believe me when I say that this is panto in its purest form so improv, audience participation, “blue material” and heckling are all very much encouraged. Which brings me to Justin.

Justin was undoubtedly the breakout star of the show. I believe he’s a priest in the East London area (well, I know more than that but let’s not dox him too much). He was pulled out of the audience by Mother Goose in her search for a new husband and every time she called out “Cooee”, he had to stand up and cry “I love Mother Goose”. Bless Justin, he was game.

Photos by Manuel Harlan and Mark Senior.

I also mentioned Priscilla the goose earlier, who was Eva’s absolute favourite. It’s lucky that heckling is encouraged because Eva was certainly vocal whenever there was a suggestion that anything bad might happen to this massive bird. Obviously, we all know that there will be a happy ending but Eva was emotionally involved as ever so the happy ending could not come soon enough.

Photos by Manuel Harlan and Mark Senior.

Priests and geese aside, the rest of the cast were great too. Clive Rowe seemed very comfortable in the Dame role, camping it up with his mahoosive bazookas and arched eyebrows. Rebecca Parker was deliciously evil as the demon queen and possesses a powerful singing voice as well as rocking a sparkly costume that resembled Columbia from Rocky Horror. Gemma Wardle as Fairy Fame also had a surprisingly strong voice for such a wee pixie-like thing. I also really enjoyed Jill Purchase (Holly Mallett)’s drumming. But the whole cast was superbly upbeat and sang and danced in perfect synch, even though some of them were probably younger than Eva. There was a lot of glitter and shiny material so the dance routines were a visual feast, alongside the wonderfully detailed backdrops.

Photos by Manuel Harlan and Mark Senior.

This is panto on a large scale and well-executed by a team who clearly know what they’re doing. Some of the references are very modern – the plot revolves around social media and there is a brief “Stranger Things” homage – but in some ways, it’s panto that’s remained unchanged for decades. It very much relies on groans and boos as much as laughs and cheers and the enthusiastic audience that we watched with did not disappoint. I mentioned “blue material” earlier because I remember doing local panto in my teens and seeing a newspaper clipping in the dressing room, with a list of do’s and don’ts for panto. One of them was “don’t use too much blue material”, which to my innocent brain, seemed to be a reference to cold-coloured scenery. The show today was aimed for at all ages so the material never did get too “blue” but again, my innocent brain might have just not understood all the gags. Safe to say, the script works at a number of levels.

Photos by Manuel Harlan and Mark Senior.

There are also some lengthy diversions – one of which featured the return of Justin – but again, that’s the nature of panto. The total runtime is 2.5 hours, including an interval, so while it’s suitable for all ages it might be hard for some of the very little ones to sit still. Eva wasn’t sitting still but that’s because she was over-excited/dancing to the songs/rocking on tip-up seats because she “can’t get enough of theatre seats”. Luckily I was seated on the aisle so halfway through the first half I swapped with her and put her on the end so that it was only me that she was bothering with her wriggling.

There is also a tribute to Hackney Empire’s 120th anniversary which may seem shoehorned in but was very sweet and – briefly – featured a Julie Andrews impersonator. I can’t believe I was the only one who whooped for that.

We’ve seen shows of all types and sizes this Christmas and this is undoubtedly the most traditional Christmas panto we’ve seen. It’s brash and saucy but also clever, energetic and very entertaining. And if you live in Waltham Forest or Hackney, it’s super convenient too! Well, as long as the trains are running, which they weren’t tonight (but we got an Uber back so nothing worth blogging about). It’s definitely worth a trip to see if you’re looking for something to make you laugh and boo in equal measure. Also, a quick shout out to the Britannia Fish Bar a few doors down, where we got a very quick and cheap post-show supper. Delicious!

 

“Mother Goose” runs until Dec 31st at Hackney Empire. For tickets and more info, click here. 

Disclaimer: I received free press tickets in exchange for a review but all opinions remain honest and my own.

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“Jack!” at Chickenshed – 30/11/22

Posted on November 30, 2022 by katese11

Copyright Chickenshed

I have a confession to make and some of you will have figured it out already. I know the blog is called “London With a Toddler” but I don’t actually possess a toddler any more. I mentioned a few posts back that I was training up an heir apparent but I still have the original toddler lurking around here somewhere and occasionally I like to take him to something that’s more on his current level than the CBeebies shows we used to take in together. And this was right on a teenager’s level – rap, video games and the occasional fart joke. But luckily there was a lengthy reference to The Who for oldies like me.

Let’s start at the beginning though, because I love a good tube chaos story and well…this was a doozie. As soon as we got onto the Victoria Line, there was an announcement to say that there were severe delays on the Piccadilly Line. I started racking my brains thinking of non-Piccadilly ways to Chickenshed but my North London geography is a bit sketchy, even in the bit of North London that I live in so I was coming up blank.

While I was doing all this brain-racking, I’d failed to notice that we’d been at Blackhorse Road for a suspiciously long time. Eventually the driver also picked up on this and announced that we were being held due to a “passenger alarm”. Turns out there were now also severe delays on the Victoria Line, if only our train. We got moving again but the alarm was pulled again at Tottenham Hale and we stopped there for just as long. By the time we got to Finsbury Park, we were feeling like we could handle anything the Picc line could throw at us. Plus, there was a giant dog. Winning.

Until Bounds Green, where we got turfed out and had to go and find a bus. Happily, the 299 goes from Bounds Green straight to Chickenshed. When I say straight, this is a loose interpretation which includes a “three sides of a square hail-and-ride” section but it was better than nothing. We got on the bus at 6:30 and at 6:59 exactly, we were busting through the doors just in time for the show to start. Phew!

The basic story of “Jack!” will be very familiar to you all. An impoverished family selling their most treasured possession to try and make ends meet. The twist is that the treasured possession is a games console and the family are poor because the father died and they lost his video games arcade on the pier. To get it back Jack must  – you guessed it – climb the levels of a video game called The Beanstalk. In this quest, he’s helped by his sister Littleun, his Dad’s old right-hand man Fred, two time-travelling Tech Supporters and a variety of Avatars. Everyone’s favourite avatar is surely the Samurai but I won’t spoiler it by telling you why.

Copyright Chickenshed

This is a full-on Chickenshed production, with a cast of 800 on rotation. Each individual cast is 200-strong and it really packs a punch when the stage is crammed full of glitter or monsters or neon-clad dancers. I particularly loved the way the UV light picked up on the orange and yellow eyeshadow  – it was a very cool effect. I have no idea how you co-ordinate so many people into doing anything vaguely together but Chickenshed make it look easy. The large-scale numbers are like a tableau – it’s not that everyone is doing the same thing at the same time but more creating a scene where there are lots of different things to look at. This allows the signers to blend in with the rest of the company and for cast members of all ages and abilities to take part. There are are some incredibly skilled dancers and singers but I love the fact that it’s not just the super-talented ones that get spotlit but there is a chance for everyone to shine. And yes, I am tearing up as I write this. It’s just such a lovely, inclusive place.

I mentioned signers a moment ago but wanted to highlight that the whole show has sign language interpretation throughout, including songs. I now know the BSL for “monster”, which I’m sure will come in useful at SwingTrain sometime. Each character has a signer shadowing their movements and facial expressions so nothing is lost by watching them. I got momentarily confused when someone who previously had a speaking role reappeared as a signer because her voice suddenly seemed to be coming from elsewhere but then, I do get easily confused.

Copyright Chickenshed

As a show it wasn’t as whimsical as some of the previous fairytale shows we’ve been to, or as thought-provoking as something like “How to Make a Better World“. But it was one of the most fun productions we’ve seen there, which just brilliantly demonstrates the Chickenshed versatility. Yes, they can make shows which are deeply moving and meaningful but they also make shows which are stuffed full of confetti, high-energy dance routines and pop culture references. Reuben particularly appreciated the nods to Star Wars and Sonic I think. And I enjoyed the aforementioned Who homage as well as a pastiche of Chris Tarrant, with just the right dramatic lighting.

There are some familiar ‘Shed faces in the cast but I think this is the first show I’ve seen with Hector Dogliani (Jack) in a lead role. His interpretation of lonely teen Jack was full of heart and provoked empathy from the start – a far cry from the selfish, dopey Jack we normally see in this story. He reminded me of a young Robert Pattinson and had a surprisingly deep, soulful voice. I’m not sure who we saw as Littleun but she was great too, with a sweet singing and a digestive system that knocked the bad guys right out. They were very believable as brother and sister and the family dynamic was lovely. No, I’m not crying again. But I was a little at the end.

Copyright Chickenshed

I should also say that the sets are incredible and really pull you into the video game world. I loved the Toy Story white fluffy clouds at the back which are almost out of sight but are such a nice touch. Reuben was straining to hear whether the noises at the beginning were Sonic’s rings or Mario’s coins but he concluded it was both at once. I have no idea whether he’s right or not. There was some prerecorded music I think but also a live band and I think all the singing was live as well. Just an incredible production all round.

So if you want a show that’s sharp enough for your teen but also colourful and engaging enough for your little ones, look no further. It’s not overtly Christmassy but it’s panto – what could be more Christmassy than that?

“Jack!” runs until 7th January. For tickets and more info, click here. 

Disclaimer: I received free press tickets in exchange for a review but all opinions remain honest and my own.

Copyright Chickenshed

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“The Pixie and the Pudding” at Little Angel Studios – 27/11/22

Posted on November 27, 2022 by katese11

Photo©EllieKurttz

It’s been a complex day. It started with taking the long way round to church because of engineering works and ended with Eva spilling her drink all over the tube and very nearly losing her beloved hat. In the middle, there was a fair amount of chaos as we tried to work out which family member was supposed to be in which post-church meeting and whether everyone had eaten something that could be classed as lunch. But there was also an enjoyable hour spent at Little Angel watching their Christmas show – The Pixie and the Pudding.

I think we saw a version of this show a few years back but I haven’t read that previous review so as to try and keep my thoughts straight. After such a chaotic afternoon, I’m amazed that I have any thoughts at all but here they are:

First off, it’s a Christmas show but it’s light-touch Christmas. It starts on Christmas Eve and ends on Christmas Day but two years pass in between. It’s a story about believing in magic, doing something for others and giving pigs tummy tickles so all good festive themes. I must admit to feeling a little guilty about the last one as the lunch substitute I’d grabbed on the way to the theatre was a very good and chunky sausage roll from Suprette.  Sorry Bella.

The basic plot is that an old farmer leaves a Christmas pudding on the shelf every year for a magical pixie who then grants the farm good luck for the year – milk flowing freely, eggs in abundance and award-winning vegetables. A year into the play, the old farmer retires and passes the farm to a new farmer who’s moved from the city and doesn’t believe in pixies. You can guess what happens next. Ah, the arrogance of youth. The new farmer brings with him a teenage daughter who eventually turns things round and yes, gives Bella those tummy tickles.

The Pixie and The Pudding taken on the 18th November 2022
Photo©EllieKurttz

The whole show is performed by two actors (Sam Dutton and Jazmine Wilkinson) who also control all the puppet animals. As well as the pig, there is a cow, a chicken, a rooster and an adorable sheepdog called Molly. Eva loved Molly and was, of course, distraught when Molly was made to live outside under the new regime. Eva is also in a bit of a know-it-all phase and loudly corrected a young child when he pointed at the rooster and said “hen!”. I apologise to everyone present. She also questioned whether female cows have horns but I googled and yes, they sometimes do. The farmyard setting is a crowd pleaser for young kids because all toddlers love barnyard animals, don’t they? And most are not as pedantic as my child. There were a few notable vocalisations from the crowd though, especially when the daughter revealed the Christmas pudding – a child in the front row cried out “It’s beautiful!” and they were not wrong.

What was also beautiful was the use of lighting to give different feels to the different seasons. I particularly liked the sunrise effect on the backdrop as the rooster was crowing. And Eva liked the discoball effect every time the pixie appeared. The use of music was also effective, with the positive “Summer on the farm” songs in the first half giving way to a more melancholy version as the farm declined and the new farmer accepted that his plan had been a failure. There are a lot of songs throughout the whole show, which were largely sung acapella by the two performers. They really did work hard.

The Pixie and The Pudding taken on the 18th November 2022
Photo©EllieKurttz

The show is advertised as being for ages 4-11 but, as you can probably tell, there were some younger children there who I think enjoyed it. It’s an hour long so a few of the very littlies got restless but I think that was mostly because they wanted to be up on the stage cuddling the animals. Mostly though, they paid rapt attention. I think the age recommendation is about right but it seemed to go down well with everyone from newborn next to us up to the near-secondary-aged one I brought with me.

So nothing too complicated or glitzy but a charming little story with the kind of magic that should carry the show into January. Definitely worth a visit to ward off the rainy-day blues.

Disclaimer: I received free press tickets in exchange for a review but all opinions remain honest and my own.

“The Pixie and the Pudding” runs from18 November 2022 – 29 January 2023. For tickets and more information, click here. 

The Pixie and The Pudding taken on the 18th November 2022
Photo ©EllieKurttz

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A Week Off

Posted on November 21, 2022 by katese11

We’ve just had a week off….unusual, I know but these things happen when you fail to use up your annual leave in a timely manner. So a rainy week in November it is. What to do?

Well, I started the week by taking a group of English Class students to see the Lord Mayor’s Parade. They are always fascinated by weird British stuff and it doesn’t get much more British than standing around in the cold for an hour watching people in robes processing around. But there were also Indian drummers, Chinese dancers and a giant inflatable pig. There was also a giant cricket bat so I’m quite glad I didn’t take Eva with me. She has a weird phobia of cricket bats ever since a close encounter with one during a PE lesson.

Incidentally, if you want to find somewhere to take a medium-sized group for lunch and/or coffee in the City on a Saturday, let me recommend Leon at Liverpool Street. I don’t recommend it for getting a quick lunch in between trains as I’ve been burnt before but for a leisurely post-parade coffee, it was fine and there was lots of space. Don’t bother even looking around Bank Junction – it’s pretty much all shut.

Monday saw us wandering, childfree, around Oxford Circus and Soho. We spent quite some time in my old haunt of H&M where I have hastily bought post-work “going out” clothes more than once. We were in search of something 80s-styled for my work Christmas party and it did not disappoint. There was too much choice if anything.

Oxford Circus has changed a little since My Day though. This diagonal crossing has probably been there years now but it still freaks me out a little to be walking across the middle of the circus. I feel like I’m about to rudely interrupted on my scroll by an angry 159. But it was all fine.

We also took in the giant teddy bears and sparkly lights of John Lewis, while popping in to use the facilities.

And also saw the Carnaby Street Christmas lights, which I usually enjoy but this year they seem a little….confused. Giant 60s-style balloons, paper chains and…err….jellyfish? There’s a lot going on here.

Then we had lunch at Busaba, which does Pad Thai for £11 on a weekday. I’ve clearly been working in the City too long because that genuinely seemed like a bargain to me. There was a bit of incense burning, which reminded me of Catholic school, but the food was lovely and we got to spy on people from our window seat. Oh, and the toilets were very shiny.

After lunch, we hung out in Denmark Street on the pretext of getting something for the kids for Christmas but really so that Nathan could lust after midlife-crisis guitars and I could blither on about buying an electro-acoustic ukulele.

If Oxford Circus has changed since My Day, it’s got nothing on Tottenham Court Road which has basically been bulldozed and rebuilt in the last few years. I spotted the new theatre and a mysterious building called Outernet when I was visiting Foyles with Eva a few weeks back. But now I had a bit of time of actually see what the mysterious building was. To be honest, I’m still not sure. But it has two rooms with massive video projections that you can walk through. Look, it’s just like being in an aquarium:

After all that exciting Central London action at the start of the week, we needed to slow down a bit so Tuesday was mainly spent sorting out our mortgage renewal and watching the Sound of Music. Then we met Bob for lunch at The Vincent in Hackney Downs on Wednesday, which was very hipster but very nice. And on Thursday we went to Hackney again for another lunch at Stone Cave in Dalston. This time I was lunching in the presence of someone who is very nearly a Real Live Toddler. I know that it’s unheard of for this toddler blog to feature actual toddlers but I have high hopes for the heir apparent.

I’m happy to report that he enjoyed his lunch and smeared baba ganoush into every conceivable crevice. I remember mezze being a winner when my own toddlers were toddlers and the combination of bread, halloumi and dips is a weaner’s delight. He also enjoyed the fish tank at the back of the restaurant:

I’m also happy to report that he is fully adorable and I can’t wait to borrow him for future adventures.

Friday was highly ambitious and I got to cuddle a baby that was even smaller than the heir apparent. We also got back in time for pick up, despite leaving London during school hours:

I’m impressed with us too.

So what else to do on the following Saturday but go to Hackney yet again? With Eva this time and the slope that no child can resist climbing:

Oh, and I also went to Leytonstone and got mildly lost. But I’d offloaded the kid onto Nathan by that point so don’t worry, she wasn’t hanging out with me when I was on a motorway bridge in the dark:

I found the tube eventually.

So, an exciting week and about as much fun as you can have when it’s raining every day and you need to be back for the school run.We know how to party.

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“Stick Man” at Leicester Square Theatre – 23/10/22

Posted on October 23, 2022 by katese11

Stick Man – A previous cast. Photo Mark Senior

It’s been a busy weekend, one way or another, with Saturday’s shenanigans including an unplanned diversion to Seven Sisters. Just look at these lovely sunflowers:

So it was a tired mother and daughter that sat on the 38 from church to Shaftesbury Avenue. But we perked up wandering through Chinatown as there was just so much to look at. Eva was particularly taken with this display of “random Chinese snacks” as she put it. I think she was angling for some mochi. We’ve eaten a lot of mochi lately.

But lunch seemed a more sensible idea, so we swung by Burger King for a vegan whopper and a strawberry lemonade for the little lady. We used to frequent that branch after church in the comedy store and I remember it as being very busy and stressful. But actually, it was pretty calm our food arrived quickly. Maybe because of the guy with the megaphone outside telling people not to go into. I dunno.

Anyway, we were being surprisingly efficient so got to the Leicester Square Theatre with time to spare before the show started. Eva filled it by waxing lyrical about the armrests – they were apparently the “perfect solution” although I wasn’t 100% clear on what the problem was. Still, the seats were comfy and there was lots of legroom for the massive coats I was hauling around.

I was hoping the seats weren’t too comfy, given how little sleep I was operating on but I shouldn’t have worried. This show was lively enough to keep even the tiredest parent engaged. And the tiredest kid as well.

The “Stick Man” book follows the trusted Julia Donaldson formula of a main character going on a journey and meeting different characters along the way. Like “The Gruffalo”, there is an edge of danger in Stick Man’s journey as every section puts him in peril and takes him further away from the family tree. I’ll admit now that I have occasionally teared up over the ending of this book but I know for a fact that I’m not the only one. So how would all this peril translate itself to the stage?

Stick Man – A previous cast. Photo Mark Senior

The answer is with megaphones, upbeat songs and a 1950s aesthetic. The story was told by three performers – I believe we saw Aaron Douglas as the Stick Man, Lois Glenister as Stick Lady Love and Lucas Taylor as Actor-Musician. They alternate characters with dizzying speed and Lucas seemed to be playing a different instrument in every scene. The original text is scattered throughout the show but in between each “Stickman, beware!” is a bit of a elaboration, whether that’s “The Girl” showing off her hula-hooping skills or a grumpy swan expressing her dislike of freeform jazz by sticking her beak into a saxophone. At one point, the Stick Man breaks the fourth wall entirely to recap the story so far and to try and get the audience to agree that he’s pretty hard done by.

I do agree with you Stick Man, although living in a small tree with three kids doesn’t sound like much fun either.

There was also a call on the audience during the mid-way “beach” segment where we were all asked to play catch with an invisible beach ball. They asked for anyone who was good at catching to put their hands up so Eva, well aware of her lack of sporting prowess, put her hands straight down instead. Pity, she missed out on a good game of invisiballball.

As ever, Eva is not quite target demographic for these shows but mature content stresses her out so she’s more than happy to come to adaptations of Julia Donaldson with me. Looking at the littlies around us, it did seem well-aimed – the 55 minute run time held their attention and putting the lights up during the invisiballball game gave them all a bit of a break from having to sit and listen. The plot moved relatively quickly but lingered over banter-filled interactions and the occasional bit of toilet humour, all of which I think helped the preschoolers to stay focused.

Stick Man – A previous cast. Photo Mark Senior

And yes, Eva did enjoy it too. She was really impressed by the lighting during the snow scene – I heard a little gasp from her as the snowflakes seemed to swirl around us. And she’d completely forgotten the ending, which I don’t think I’m spoiling by saying it was Christmas-themed. She said to me afterwards that the ending was both “easily forgettable and surprising”. By which I think she meant, she hasn’t read the book for a while and only had a hazy memory of it. Suffice to say, it all worked out well and yes, I did feel a bit teary as Stick Man reunited with his family. I’ve said before how triggering family reunions are. Don’t judge me.

I mentioned the 1950s aesthetic earlier and it was pulled through in both the costumes and the music. Think neat blouses, prom-dress skirts and statement sunglasses.  But it was all in woodland shades of green and brown, to reflect the stick-theme. I realise I’ve explained it but really could just share a production image with you. This was a previous cast but you get the idea:

Stick Man – A previous cast. Photo Mark SeniorSo if it could keep the attention of a room full of preschoolers and a few very tired adults, it must be good, right? I think the familiar Julia Donaldson rhymes and the Christmassy ending would make this a comforting Christmas treat for little ones. And don’t we all need a bit of comfort in these uncertain times? It’s funny, lively and interactive. Oh, and there’s a dog in it which obviously gets points from Eva.

After the show, we wandered through Leicester Square towards a tiny Pret as I’m still maxing out that coffee subscription. We passed the Swiss Centre bells, which seem a tad out of tune nowadays. Maybe it’s just me but something wasn’t quite right. Eva agreed as she called them “annoying beyond wit”. So we turned back towards Chinatown and were mooching round the “random Chinese snacks” shop when Eva decided she needed the loo. I realised that a Pret coffee subscription is essentially a free pass to also use their toilets but, for once, there was not a Pret in sight. So we went to Foyles and used theirs, with Eva somehow getting two new books bought for her on the way out. I’m not sure how that happened but safe to say, we paid for that pee. Funnily enough, I’d first gone to that floor in Foyles on another Donaldson/Scheffler-themed trip out, when Roo and I met the Gruffalo eight whole years ago.

Post-Foyles, things went downhill as we found out the Elizabeth Line doesn’t run from Tottenham Court Road on a Sunday and so we had to get the Central Line back to Liverpool Street. Probably best for me to leave you mid-Chinatown. It may be chaotic but at least it’s not the Central Line.

 

“Stick Man” runs until 2nd January  – for tickets and more info, click here

Disclaimer: I received free tickets in exchange for a review. All opinions remain honest and my own. 

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