London With a Teenager

Bertie&Boo Adventure Island – 09/02/13

Posted on February 9, 2013 by katese11

Sooo…what to do with a rainy Saturday afternoon? One option was to drive around the M25 with some friends (yes, they were doing it for fun), which would have sent the kids to sleep but might just have sent me and Nathan to sleep too. Instead, I took the opportunity to check out a fun-sounding soft play I’d heard about in Balham. Our local soft play isn’t open till March, so we had to get on a bus or tube somewhere and Balham really isn’t far away. Plus it updated that pin in my Northern Line game.

On the way there, a couple of surreal things happened. Firstly, we were accosted by a boy in Cleaver Square, a posh square in our not-so-posh neck of the woods. I’m always a little wary of being stopped by youths in South London but he was only about 8 or 9, so we stopped to talk to him. He indicated his mother on the far side of the square, with a table full of toys and said (and I swear these were his actual words)

“We have some toys over there, which may be suitable for children such as yours, if you’re interested”

“Such as yours”? Just BLESS a lot. Who talks like that? Certainly not these rude youths the Daily Mail is always banging on about. There you go, they’re not all bad. Sadly, with no buggy we weren’t prepared to take on anything extra, so we had to politely decline his polite offer. I felt a bit bad.

The second surreal thing was that there was literally no-one else travelling south on the Northern Line today. Just look at the platform:

Was there a zombie apocalypse that we missed? On the whole platform, there was me, Nathan, Eva and Reuben. On a Saturday afternoon. It was a bit spooky.

But we got to Balham without being savaged by the undead. I did see an off-duty drag queen as we left the station (the eyebrows are a giveaway), but that was as edgy as it got. And 5 minutes from the tube, we reached our destination: Adventure Island!

It’s a pirate themed soft play/cafe that’s run by the same people who run The Bertie and Boo coffee shop (also in Balham). They’re called Bertie and Boo apparently, and they do magic as well as sell cakes. They come from a magic family too. It was all a bit exciting.

It was an easy sell to Roo – pirates, soft play, magic? He’s there. I assumed that being a bit trendy and being in a-bit-trendy Balham it would be a but pricey too, but it was only £2.90 for Roo and free for Eva. That’s for an hour’s play, but we only got there an hour before it shut anyway. We had to wait a few minutes for the 3 o’clock session to start, so Roo entertained himself playing in the rowing boat in the cafe.

Yes, there was a rowing boat in the cafe. I liked this place. It had “quirk”.

Then we went in to play, ushered in by (I presume) Boo in a polka dot 50s skirt that looked like something Vivien of Holloway would make (I LOVED my Vivien dress before I had babies. Now I don’t fit it). There was a small soft play area outside, with a cool ball-blower thing and a screen showing vintage magic shows. I thought that was “baby island” but no…there was a whole other room past the gate that was set up for babies. In it, someone I assume was Bertie was trying to fix a foam house that would later become a magnet for destructo-boy. But here it is in its glory:

You can see Roo’s head behind it there. It didn’t stay intact for long. I assume he was being a Big Bad Wolf and blowing the house down, but the last time he played “3 Little Pigs” it didn’t end well.

And yes, Roo was hanging around the baby room. Show Roo a locked gate with toys behind it and he’ll want to get in. I kept trying to remove him before noticing that the sign said “3 years and under”, not “under 3 years”. A technical difference, but it meant that he could legitimately play in there. At one point, he and Eva climbed into a treasure chest together.

Aww! Dark and fuzzy, but Aww! Eva was overtired and mood-swingy the whole time we were there, but she seemed to enjoy herself at least part of the time. She even crawled round the main frame with Nathan before getting stuck and wailing for Mummy.

Meanwhile, Roo was playing in a shark-infested ball pool and sometimes taking all the shark fins out for a run-around with some other small-boy friends he’d made. It was a very cool feature. The soft play room itself was pretty small, but the space was well used and there were bridges and a slide as well as the ball pool. The baby room was more spacious and lighter, but they were playing “Somewhere over the Rainbow” (ukelele version) on repeat, so I couldn’t stay in there too long. I love a ukelele cover version as much as the next person, but I have a limit. She seemed happy enough in the big kids’ bit anyway (where they were also playing cool retro music but -crucially – more than one song)

So, the kids had a good time. When the bell sounded the end of the session, Reuben was what you might call reluctant to leave. There was a private party starting as we left, and the sight of the trasure-chest party favours was a bit much for him. “I want the treasure!” he wailed as we got him dressed. The cafe smelt like good coffee and the cakes looked lovely, but it was crowded and we needed to get both meltdown-y children home. The cafe also sold baby food, Annabel Karmel ready meals, smoothies and healthy snack packs. Unsurprisingly there were also a LOT of highchairs and a buggy park. We bribed Reuben with some Monster Munch and dragged him back home. A fine afternoon out!

VERDICT: A small but cool soft play, with lots of quirky touches.

More details here (official website)

Posted in Creating precious childhood memories or something (days out) | Tagged cafes, cake, coffee, pirates, soft play, South London, ukelele | 1 Comment

Riding the ducky boat – a trip with London Duck Tours

Posted on February 8, 2013 by katese11

You may remember some time ago, in a long week of quarantine, the kids and I went on a “ducky-spotting” adventure – we followed the ducky boat and watched it splash in at Vauxhall. Now, I showed this to the nice people at London Duck Tours and they said we could tag along and see what it was like from the inside.

I was excited. And Roo was excited. As soon as I told him we were going to the ducky boat after “The Lingo Show”, he leapt into action and put his wellies on and switched cBeebies off. We didn’t even watch Lingo. He was raring to go and so was I. Eva wasn’t quite so bothered.

Obviously, we got there a *little* early, so we left Roo’s scooter and the changing bag at the ducky shop and went to the café nearby “Enough to Feed an Elephant” for a second breakfast of apple juice and croissant. I like it in there because all the seats are old tube train seats, and they have the maps above them. Also, I knew they had a toilet and it was kinda essential for me and Roo to go before boarding (no loos on the ducky itself). How do I know they had a toilet? Well, my nephew Mikey got locked in there when they came to visit in 2008 and Nathan had to climb in and rescue him. That sticks in the memory. So, we breakfasted within sight of the ducky stop so we wouldn’t be late. And we also stopped outside the tourist tat shop for a quick photo opportunity:

And then we were ready to board. We took our seats and Roo started counting down “3…2….1…GO!”. I pointed out that there was no driver yet, so we were unlikely to “blast off” but you know Roo – that doesn’t stop him. After a few minutes, we were joined by our lovely tourguide Ruth and lovely driver Eric and we were off:

Here’s Ruth in full flow. I have to say , she was an excellent guide. Lively without being overwhelming and full of interesting facts. I like to think I know London pretty well, but even I learnt something, like the aversion that pigeons have to the statue of Churchill. The tour started with a half-hour ish drive over Westminster Bridge, Whitehall, Trafalgar Square, Pall Mall and back towards Westminster via Buckingham Palace. Around the tour, she pointed out famous places and more obscure ones like Prince Charles’ favourite shoe shop. I thought it might be a bit much for Roo, especially as he’s seen all these sights so many times but no, he seemed to be enjoying himself looking out of the window and savouring the novelty of being in a giant yellow ducky-car rather than a small red Vauxhall Astra car.

Eva wasn’t enjoying herself so much. She started a low level tired grizzle around Whitehall, which turned into a full-on wail by Pall Mall. I tried offering her a breadstick but she was having none of it. I was reluctant to feed her due to all the many layers I was wearing, but around the back of Buckingham Palace I gave in. Sorry Ma’am. She gave me two sharp bites to express her displeasure at being kept waiting and then settled down to feed. Pretty soon, she was out:

The paucity of photos I have altogether is probably due to the fact that she was lying on one arm and I was using my other arm to hang on to Roo, who occasionally showed signs of wanting to climb out of the window. Luckily he didn’t. But he was getting a little impatient to get to the main event as we went up Millbank. He didn’t have long to wait. We crossed Vauxhall Bridge, swapped Eric for a Thames waterman called Danny and braced ourselves. It was almost splashdown time!

I’m pretty sure this is one thing that is unique to Duck Tours – many people offer a road tour and/or a river cruise but none do it in the same vehicle. Roo had pre-warned me that he was going to say “aaaaarggghhh when the ducky car turn into the ducky boat”. So I was ready. I clung on to both children tightly and the ducky car did indeed turn into the ducky boat.

I’ve got to admit, it was a little scary. Roo was not the only person saying “aaaaarrrggghhh”. It goes so low in the water and makes so much noise that you do wonder whether it’s going to stay afloat. But the duck tour have been running for a long time and they haven’t lost anyone yet, as far as I know.

My other concern was just how cold we were going to be, hence all the extra layers. When I checked the weather report a few days ago, there was the possibility of snow. But it turned out to be a glorious day to be on the river – blue skies, sunshine and calm waters. Even with one of the windows open, we were snuggly warm.

We cruised as far as Westminster Bridge and then turned round. Roo was holding my arm for security all the way, but was gazing at the water in stunned silence. I’ve never known him this quiet. The river section was about the right length for him as he might have started getting restless, but as it was he seemed to love it. I think he felt like a real Octonaut.

And then we were almost back home. By that, I mean the duck tour stop. We’d passed our actual home three times on the way. We thanked Ruth profusely for her boundless enthusiasm and went back to the cafe to eat some chips and cucumber before nursery

(Then it all went wrong and we got to nursery late, having been to hospital and stopped by the postman on the way. But that’s another story.)

(The hospital trip was just to use the loos. Don’t worry Mum)

VERDICT: A fun trip out for a morning. Eva was obviously the wrong age for it, but Reuben enjoyed himself and kept talking about it in the cafe afterwards (“we went on an a-venture in a ducky boat and we made a splash!”). It’s a quirky way to see London and even seasoned Londoners can enjoy it. You may feel a little self-conscious going round town in a giant yellow ducky car, but you soon get over that. Even when tourists are taking photos of you. I would definitely recommend it, as long as you find some way of sedating the over-tired baby.

More details here (official website)

Disclaimer: We received complimentary tickets from London Duck Tours in order to write this review. All opinions remain honest and my own.

Posted in Creating precious childhood memories or something (days out) | Tagged boats, Central London, ducks, playing tourist | 2 Comments

The Ragged Canteen (Beaconsfield Gallery) and Vauxhall City Farm revisited

Posted on February 6, 2013 by katese11

It’s been a funny coupla weeks on the blog – rants against the media at large, sponsored posts, shameless pleas for votes. Let’s get back to the important stuff in life – toasties and alpacas. That’s an alpaca there. The toasties will come later.

It’s probably time to revisit Vauxhall City Farm. Not in a physical sense – we’ve been there a loooot of times now. But in a blogging sense. I wrote about it in July 2011, and it was my 9th ever post. It was a paragraph long cause back then I was a bit scared to write too much in case I bored people. Oh how things have changed! Now I ramble as much as I like and everyone has so far been too polite to tell me how bored they are. So, on with the VCF action.

We were at VCF today to meet a new friend, Maria. I’ve “known” her via the BLW forum for a long time, but since she moved to London, C’s mum and I have pressganged her into our SELBLWGang. Catchy, hey? She has one like Eva and one like Roo so that’s the minimum requirements met, and today she was visiting Vauxhall with the “one like Eva” aka Niamh. Before we went for lunch, we had a romp around the farm cause it’s always a fave of Roo’s. As I mentioned in that long-ago post, there are some animals there. But nowadays he knows their real names instead of just shouting “hor!” all the time.

And when I say real names, I mean we’re now on first-name terms with the kune-kune pigs from New Zealand. Nathan will be celebrating Waitangi Day later on his blog so it seemed like a good day to make their acquantice. This one is Jenny and the more yellow-y one is Edward. Go and say hello sometime! They’ve always been Roo’s favourites, even though they would probably eat him given half the chance. They would definitely eat Eva if I leant too far forward over their stable door.

Roo’s other favourite feature of VCF is the milkable cow, which he’s enjoying here with his friends Luke and Rufus back in August. If I remember rightly they all got very wet. When we went there today, the milkable cow wasn’t working. Given that we were going to lunch and then nursery and it was a bit if a chilly day, I’m quite glad it wasn’t working.

So instead, we watched the duckies and saw the big green one take on the smaller brown one. In South London, even the ducks are tough. Then we went to the plant bit and Roo ran around looking for Mr Bloom. Sadly for the hormonal mothers of SE11, there have been no Bloom-sightings anywhere near Vauxhall City Farm. Those annoying kids from Green Balloon Club, yes. Mr Bloom, no. By the way, I’m not counting myself among those mothers – I might have a child, but that doesn’t mean I lust after CBeebies presenters. I still have some standards. Of course, it’s still a treat when David Tennant does the bedtime story…

Yes, it’s small but there’s enough to keep a small boy entertained. In the summer they run petting sessions, and they had seed planting in the peace pagoda. Roo planted a pumpkin and then watched it obsessively while it failed to do anything remotely like growing. We eventually ditched it when he wasn’t looking and bought a supermarket pumpkin instead. I may have mentioned before how bad I am at nurturing things. Sorry kids. Anyway, we were getting a bit cold and wet, so we popped a coin in the cow’s bottom (like you do) and decamped to the Ragged Canteen for lunch.

Like many things in the Vauxhall area, the Ragged Canteen is a bit of an oddity. It’s part of Beaconsfield, an art gallery, and has suitably eclectic opening times. Currently they’re open 11-4 Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, even though they don’t serve lunch till 12. It’s on an unpromising looking side street and you have to ring a buzzer to get in. So kudos to you if you actually get there and manage to eat lunch.

We pretty much did. Getting there at 11:30ish, we were too early for the menu of the day (ever-changing vegetarian food), but they could do us a toastie. Even then, it took till almost 12 till the toasties arrived, which seems to be a feature of quirky cafes. So if you’re after lunch, aim for midday-ish. The main menu looked good, but with the nursery run to get to we couldn’t wait too long. But the toasties were pretty yummy, as was the complimentary bread and olives that came out while we waited. The bread was straight out of the oven and was beautiful. Obviously, my lacking-in-taste son snubbed it as his current favourite, “boy bread” is more of the economy white variety. He ate most of his cheese toastie, despite complaining that he didn’t like it. He’s just a complainer. Eva and Niamh both yummed up our sweet potato and feta toasties, with salad and chilli jam. What good little weaners! In fact, Eva could not got enough of the chilli jam and kept sticking her tiny fingers in again and again. There may be consequences later.

Apologies for the lack of photos. I had chilli jam on my fingers. The only photo I got of the cafe area was the fuzzy one of some tablecloths, above. Don’t bother nominating me for “best photography blog”. It’s a nice space, even if the slate floors aren’t great for babies to crawl about on. Luckily Eva and Niamh were easily distracted by the nice bread. There was a highchair (yes, just one) and a trolley full of toys and books, so they were clearly baby-friendly. There was also a babychange, not that we needed it (chilli jam hadn’t worked its way through yet). They also charged me slightly less for Roo’s toastie, which was sweet. We were the first ones there, but the next batch of customers were also hauling buggies and bribes around.

I’ve been there twice now and haven’t been to see any of the actual art bits. But they have a couple of video installations in the cafe and hey, Roo loves sound art. One day we might have a bit more time to look around. The first time we went, it was a spontaneous visit to source some Monmouth coffee for my friend Kay and it kinda turned into lunch. Today was overshadowed, as always, by the nursery run. But we’ll go back.

VERDICT: An interesting cafe and lovely food. I hear the coffee’s good too. Service isn’t the quickest, but that’s to be expected when it’s all fresh.

More details here (Ragged Canteen) and here (Vauxhall City Farm)

Posted in Cake and the finest wines known to humanity (eating out), Food in cages! Walking around! Or maybe some alpacas! (Farms and zoos) | Tagged animals, art, cafes, coffee, South London | 3 Comments

I’m gonna need your love…

Posted on February 5, 2013 by katese11

This is a blatant cry for attention, so I’ll say it once and once only. With Eva doing her begging eyes.

It’s nomination time for the MAD Blog Awards 2013. Last year, Blog of the Year was awarded to fellow BLW-er Kat at Slugs on the Refrigerator. I’m nowhere near her lofty heights yet, but if anyone wants to nominate me in the “Best Family Fun” category I’d be in love with you forever. All of you. You can nominate here

And that is all. Thank you 🙂

Posted in Facts! And facts are important! | Tagged begging posts, MAD blog awards | 8 Comments

Personalised Gifts! A sponsored post by giftsonline4u.com

Posted on February 4, 2013 by katese11

I love gifts. Who doesn’t? My children certainly love gifts. For weeks after Christmas, Reuben would bound up to Nathan as he got home from work, demanding “what present you bought me today?”. And gifts are even better if they’re personalised. Which is why I’m happy to be linking up with giftsonline4u.com to discuss their rather lovely personalised train.

Now, in case you’re confused this is more of a 3-year-old gift than a baby gift. But Reuben already has one a little similar, so it made sense to get one with Eva’s name on. She’ll appreciate it in a few years. She was excited by the packaging and tried to eat the bubble wrap (which I’m saving to surprise Roo with when he’s bored), but she wasn’t allowed to play with the train itself. The bag it came in was pretty cool though:

The train itself came in several bits, with wooden pin connectors, which I thought would be fiddly to assemble. But it wasn’t bad – even with my cack-handiness and both children “helping” it only took a few minutes. Look, here are me and Roo hard at work:

The track connects with tiny magnets and then the letters sit on the track, each letter attaching to a wooden truck. And they’re all pulled by this magnificent-looking engine:

Pretty, isn’t it? The signal and tree also come as part of the set, so these personalised gifts are good value for money (the train is £20.99+ £0.75 per letter). It’s all painted beautifully and is good quality. The only reservation I would have is that the connectors seem a little flimsy, but once they’re connected it would be hard to snap them. Even with my particularly heavy-handed children.

So, it was all assembled and we let Eva have a look at it before whisking her away from it (it definitely isn’t for bitey babies to play with):

Incidentally, Nathan’s OCD says that the whole thing should be reversed and the engine should be next to the “E”, That’s possible, if all the trucks are turned around but I’m happy with it this way. If he wants to change it, he can.

So, baby safely removed, it was time for Reuben to have a play:

Naturally, the first thing he did was to take it apart. “Oh no, I’ve lost my trucks” said the engine “where are they?” “Here we are” squeaked the trucks….and so on. They were put back together again, rolled up and down the tracks and the magnets investigated. Oh, and he managed to sound out the letters and discern that it was Eva’s name. Educational as well as fun!

So, thanks giftsonline4u.com for the train! We love it and I’m sure Eva will appreciate it in a few years too.

Posted in Facts! And facts are important! | Tagged choo-choo!, gifts, personalised gifts, shopping, trains | Leave a comment

A fun family day out on the Old Kent Road

Posted on February 2, 2013 by katese11

You can’t say I never show my kids a good time. This week we’ve been to the cinema to watch a DVD, the cinema again (Eva only) to watch one of the worst movies ever and to various playgroups and cafes. Last night, to make a change, I went to the cinema all by myself to watch a slightly better film. So, how to top such an exciting week? Why, with a drive down the Old Kent Road of course!

Roo had Christmas money to spend. Technically so did Eva, but her actual tenner had been spent before Christmas when her mother legged it to the pub on a very rare evening out. I’ll pay her back when I find something she yknow…needs. It’s not like she has any idea what’s going on. Roo, on the other hand, has been jealously guarding his money box ever since Christmas just in case I raided that for gin-money as well. I didn’t. In fact, I supplemented it with a few grubby pound coins that a builder gave me for nicking some of our electric. So Roo had a princely £17 to spend and a destination – Toys R Us.

To say he was excited might be a bit of an understatement. As soon as he was released from the car, he tried to run towards this warehouse of fun. Running in a car park is a Bad Idea, isn’t it boys and girls? Daddy certainly thinks so, so there was a small disagreement before anyone even set foot in the toy shop. This was going to go well.

And obviously, as soon as we did set foot inside, Reuben got distracted:

Luckily, it was out of order so we could legitimately say that it wouldn’t take our money. Shame!

Don’t worry, he was back on track pretty quickly, racing from shelf to shelf burbling “I don’t want zis game, I want zis horsie or zis toy. I want zis one too!”. He was like the proverbial child in the toy shop. He picked up the hobby horse and cantered around on it a bit. He climbed into the toy cars. And, almost inevitably, we lost him once or twice.

Sadly, we found him again. We also found a birthday present for a lucky ex-lodger. We didn’t find a life-size Gup D, which was on Reuben’s wishlist, nor did we find any Octonauts toys he didn’t already own. But we did find this incredible Fireman Sam bargain:

Price Cut! From £14.99 to just £14.97! We just had to have it. The fire station would also go with the Fireman Sam toys he already had, so we gently steered him towards it. It was a sensible idea. No, he didn’t need a Disney train aged 6-18mths. Or a Chuggington roundhouse that wouldn’t fit his existing Chuggington toys. Fireman Sam fire station it was!

With shopping complete, we had some time to kill before visiting friends. So we went to Sainsburys in New Cross. You know I love a supermarket. On the way in, Roo got given a balloon which made him happy and then he ran around like a loon while me and Eva did the shopping. At one point, Nathan yelled down an aisle “tell you what – I’ll chase him and you do the shopping” Err, wasn’t that what we were doing already? Was I meant to be chasing him too? Oops, sorry!

Then we went to the cafe for coffee/juice/muffins (delete as applicable). Roo demolished his chocolate muffin, and Eva tried to steal mine. No such luck lady! It’s just out of reach.

Then Roo started to get a bit melty-downy. He’d already said he wanted “two adventures, not three” and our friends had texted to say they were stuck in Peckham so it was probably time to go home. Having asked for home several times, Reuben changed his mind just outside the store during another argument with Nathan about the dos and don’ts of being in a car park. Given the choice of walking nicely back to the car or staying outside New Cross Sainsburys forever, Reuben chose the latter. “I want to stay right here forever”. Annoying as he was being, it was quite amusing to picture our little boy spending the rest of his life standing in a supermarket car park in New Cross. Wonder if he really is stubborn enough to do that? I reckon so.

I won’t spoil it by telling you whether we got him to the car or not. Go and check for yourself. And then check again in twenty years’ time and report back…

Posted in Creating precious childhood memories or something (days out) | Tagged shopping, South London, toys | 2 Comments

Toddler Time at the Ritzy – 29/01/13

Posted on January 29, 2013 by katese11

It may seem like madness to get on a bus and pay for the privilege of watching Peppa Pig at the cinema, but “it may seem like madness” is the foundation on which this blog is built, hey? Tuesday mornings have become a bit of a barren spot in our week ever since the local playgroup pointedly became “under 20months old”. Very specific. And definitely no wriggle room for a (gasp) 43month old. Is that really right? Gosh darn he’s old. So when I noticed that the Ritzy Brixton was starting “Toddler Time” on a Tuesday morning, I thought we’d check it out.

We got the bus down there and on the way, gave Roo a quick lesson in South
London geography. We were going to Brixton, so we needed to go down Brixton Rd. “But this is Kennington Road!” said Roo. No Roo, that’s the road we take to get back home to Kennington. See how it works? Ah, if only navigating was always that simple. There’s a McGregor Rd in Notting Hill. Maybe it’ll lead me to Ewan McGregor?

For some reason, we got there half an hour early which almost never happens. The projectionist hadn’t turned up yet, so the box office wasn’t open (not that cinemas seem to have box offices anymore). Roo was hungry and so was I, so we went and sat in the cafe and had a second breakfast of croissants and apple juice. After a lot of pressure from Eva, I decided to relax my “no eating flaky pastry in the sling” rule and she joined in too. Roo and I played I-spy again and I got a small insight into what goes on in my little boy’s head.

I had spied a door beginning with d. He thought it might be a dog. I don’t think he knows any other words starting with d. I asked him what you use to get in and out of a building. His answer?

“A hat!”

What goes on in there?!

The box office was open by now, so we joined the queue to buy tickets before finding out we could have bought them at the cafe bar. It was all a bit chaotic and running late, but the staff were very nice about it and they started the film a few minutes late (when the film is only 25 minutes long, every minute counts). That gave us time to check out the newly refurbished toilets:

Ooh, shiny. Each cubicle had a different wallpaper in it. Ours, chosen by Roo, had a map in it. You can’t really tell where it’s a map of from this picture, but give it a go:

Then we took our seats among the other over-excited toddlers. Roo was surprisingly calm – I think a year earlier he would have been bouncing on his seat and shouting. Instead, he just sat there with his kids popcorn and apple juice carton (£2 for the combo) and waited for Peppa to start.

On the other hand, Eva was wriggly and fretful and milk did nothing to calm her down. Maybe she was excited. Or maybe she’s turning into a terror. A toddler-in-waiting, if you will. Oh well, at least I’ll be able to do things With A Toddler again soon. We were sitting in the front row, so I put her down on the floor and she made a beeline for the next family along. Apparently she wants out. Can’t say I blame her.

I picked her up, put her down again and this time she went for Roo’s spilt popcorn. At least I hope it was Roo’s. First showing of the day you’d hope it was fairly fresh anyway. If it had been a 3pm showing, I would assume it had been there for a while and harrassed ushers had just tried to sweep it under the chairs rather than remove it. Oh yes, I remember those rapid-turnaround Saturdays at Warner Village Reading. Just get it under the seats! It’ll take too long to sweep it up. Go Go GO! There’s a queue of snotty 5-year-olds outside and one of them has drunk his XL drink already and is threatening to pee on the foyer carpet if we don’t let him in. GO!!!

Sorry, I think I had somewhat of a ‘Nam flashback there. What was I saying? Eva crawled about and ate some popcorn from the floor. Kept her happy anyway.

So anyway, Peppa Pig on the big screen! Looked a lot like Peppa Pig anywhere else, but let’s face it…this is just an excuse for parents to get out of the house and socialise isn’t it? Works for me. I couldn’t persuade any other parents to come with me, but we bumped into some people from playgroup there so it still felt like socialising. Roo enjoyed it and it wasn’t hugely expensive (£3 each for me and Roo, babies under a year were free). It did re-enforce my idea that Doctor Brown Bear isn’t actually medically qualified. Not only does he give Peppa the all-clear to have friends round when she was clearly infectious, he also thought one dose of cough medicine would clear up a highly contagious cough that Pedro Pony had. I’d like to see your credentials please Doctor!

Anyway, it was a little like going to a showing of “Sing-a-long Sound of Music”. Yes, you could watch it at home but the jokes are funnier and the songs are better when you watch it with a load of fellow fans. Similarly, small kids enjoy watching things with children of the same age. We show a “La Linea” cartoon every week at church and this moderately-amusing line person becomes the most hysterical thing ever when there are four 3-5 year-olds sitting in front of it on a big screen. Don’t ask me how. There’s a psychology thesis in there somewhere.

VERDICT: Not one we’ll do every week due to nursery timings, but a fun outing for a dull Tuesday.

More details here (official website)

Posted in Just wandering.... | Tagged cinema, South London | 6 Comments

Attack of the Crones

Posted on January 29, 2013 by katese11

I’ve just been to the supermarket and someone I didn’t know came up to me and told me my baby was ugly. I was reeling from that whenever person stepped up and said that my little boy was a bit of a minger too. Moments later, a third person joined in and said it was no wonder the two of them were so ugly when I was their mother. Yes, I was the ugliest of them all.

OK, that didn’t really happen. In fact, strangers in the supermarket often go out of their way to tell me just how cute my children are. Then they give me unsolicited parenting advice, which is a whole other post. My point is that reading The Interweb this week has felt a bit like that – the Telegraph says my weaning method is ridiculous, the Independent mocks me for cuddling my baby and over at the Daily Fail, coven leader Liz Jones has unleashed another rant about older mothers on the grounds that they are older and…well, mothers. Apparently that’s all you need to fill a column nowadays.

Ah, Liz Jones. I have always held back from discussing her here, in case I contributed to the Daily Mail’s advertising revenue, but really…this woman needs some help of some kind. Technically, I’m out of range for her latest as I had my first child in my 20s, but I’m also a member of the Mumsnet Bloggers Network, who were her target last time she forgot to take her pills. So I think it’s safe to say we’re a way off being BFFs. We do share a love of irony – she expresses it through calling other people “shrivelled” and “bitter” – but I probably wouldn’t use a national vantage point to scattergun abuse about like the guy on the bus who calls himself “Blader”. While subtly promoting teenage pregnancy. Hmm, that’s responsible. Is she just trying to ensure that the other Daily Mail writers will have things to rant about for years to come?

Basically, she hates all mums. The title of her latest article says she doesn’t but really, she does. She failed in her attempt to adopt a baby and now she’s set herself up as the anti-parenting police. Here’s a great idea guys – everyone just stop having babies. Listen to Liz! Parents are rubbish! So, let’s just stop. Sure, the human race will die out in a matter of years but given that this is a species that takes their advice from a Daily Mail columnist, I think we can agree that it would be a blessed relief.

That’s all I have to say on the subject of That Woman, for now. I actually meant to write a nice piece about Peppa Pig today, but this came out instead. In case you’re wondering what the photo of Eva at the top means, it isn’t her being an ugly baby. Oh no. It’s her Game Face. She too is Ready to Rumble.

Cause for Eva, listening to the journos means not getting cuddled and left to cry. She isn’t so keen on that idea. But Rachel Waddilove – who has a great name but not such a great attitude – has looked after Gwyneth Paltrow’s baby Apple (now there’s a really silly name) and so She Knows Best. Any baby should be able to sleep through the night from a young age. Milk? Schmilk? They don’t need it….they’re just playing you. Teething pain? Let ’em deal with it themselves! It’s time for a return to Traditional Methods. As we all know, when our ancestors were living in the caves they stuck to a strict routine of babycare. Babies were bottle-fed at set intervals, according to the position of the sun in the sky and then placed in cribs made of bone, a la the Flintstones. If the babies cried, the CaveParents would simply move to another part of the cave and leave the baby to self-settle. Those CaveParents did not allow the baby to dictate their own feeding and napping schedule. CaveMummy had to get to the gym to get back to her pre-pregnancy shape, then she had a column to carve about her Parenting Journey before popping over to see Gwyneth Neandertrow to advise her on all the mistakes she was making with baby HunkOfMeat. Apparently she fashioned something out of animal hide to carry her baby around in. Stop that now Neandertrow! Put that baby back in the bone-crib before it gets needy.

You see… talking about “traditional methods” is all a little silly isn’t it? Calling co-sleeping and baby-carrying “fads” is a little silly too. Saying that breastfeeding is “great if you can do it” while illustrating the piece with an obviously tongue-tied baby is verging on the absurd. And let’s look at this bit of wildly conclusion-jumping:

“Earlier this month, findings of a study at Philadelphia University showed that waking at various points in the night is part of the natural developmental course. It found that by the age of six months, most babies woke once or twice in the night, with just six per cent of children waking every night by the age of three. The inference was that leaving a “signalling” (crying) baby to “self-soothe” or “cry it out” might be the most sensible response.”

Babies wake in the night – it’s natural. We all agree on that and now Philadelphia University have done a study to prove it. Ace. My friend did a study on the toilet habits of bears. Wanna see it? How is that evidence that babies should then be left to cry themselves back to sleep? Surely if they’re stirring, the sensible thing to do is to give them a wee dram of warm milk while they’re still drowsy and they’ll go back to sleep. By the time they’re crying, that ship has sailed. Another paper released lately indicated that “self-soothing” was a myth anyway. So why are we still talking about it?

Is it yet another form of babies manipulating their parents? Like they’re clearly able to do? The Telegraph certainly thought so, with their article on Baby-Led Weaning, which suggested that children are able to “turn their noses up at food” and require “a finger food buffet for one”. These are 6-month-olds we’re talking about! They don’t turn their noses up at anything! Eva is 9 months now and she still eats from the bin, so exciting is this whole food thing to her. If someone was attacking my form of weaning for that – giving a child the skills and incentive to open the bin and extract her brother’s toast crusts – then I would say fair play. BLW has its disgusting downsides. But it’s never been about the baby playing power games. Your average 6-month-old when faced with a tray of food doesn’t think “urrrggghh…greens?! If I eat those, she’ll be on at me to eat them for…like…forever. Better toss ’em now while I have the chance”. They just think “woooo! Funny tree thing! Is it food or a hat? I don’t know. Let’s try both!”

The sheer flimsiness of the article can be clearly seen by the way the writer intermittently uses “baby”, “toddler” and “child”. Hang on, are we discussing babies or toddlers? Toddlers can be fussy but they don’t necessarily use emotional blackmail. But children can. Which age children are we talking about? Have you put any thought into this article? Have you even read the book on BLW? Did you write this while EastEnders was on? She’s the mother of 4-month-old twins, so I’d dismiss it as sleep-deprived drivel if it was on a blog. But a national newspaper has published this! Presumably someone along the line actually read the thing? Was it meant to illustrate the effect of sleep deprivation of journalism quality? That’s what maternity leave is for, surely.

Of course, if you’re me you waste your mat leave getting angry at other people. So I’m going to leave it there and spend some time with my charming, attached and slightly stinky daughter. If I can be serious for a second though – if you’re a Mum who’s in any way nervous, insecure or easily influenced PLEASE don’t let these bitter old women upset you. They are just wrong. Carry on doing what you’re doing, I’ll do what I’m doing and hopefully they’ll stop doing what they’re doing…

Posted in Rants | Tagged baby, breastfeeding, rant | 31 Comments

Guards and cupcakes – 25/01/13

Posted on January 25, 2013 by katese11

Do you sometimes feel like the Universe is trying to tell you something? I felt like that this morning. I was reading a blog post by Slummy Single Mummy, which featured a picture of a rainbow cake. Minutes earlier I had seen a picture of a rainbow cake on facebook. A rainbow cake, for the uninformed, is a cake where copious amounts of food colouring make the inside stripy like a rainbow. There’s a red layer, then an orange layer and….you get the idea.

I got the idea too. The Universe was telling me to eat rainbow cake! Meanwhile, the diary that controls Nathan’s blog was telling me to go and buy TimTams. I had a plan – we would go to the Australian shop in Covent Garden to buy TimTams and on the way we would find rainbow cake. A quick google suggested that BB Bakery might be able to help us with our quest. Dontcha just love London sometimes?!

At the bus stop, I was starting to regret this plan. Spontaneity is all well and good but not when you’re leaving the house at 10:30 and nursery starts at 12:45. Not when Roo has insisted on going in his buggy instead of the way more portable scooter. Not when the buses going into town all seem full. Dontcha just hate London sometimes?!

We got on a fairly crowded 159 and observed some very bad bus etiquette. Not only did the lady with a buggy in the buggy spot not move over (instead pulling hers out so I had to manoeuvre ours in past the pole) but she also then sat on the outside of the two seats, leaving me standing in the aisle with Eva. I don’t mind standing if all the other seats are taken by the elderly and/or infirm…I just don’t like getting in everyone’s way. And with our sticking-out buggy and sticking-out baby, it’s safe to say I was in the way. Especially when the person on crutches wanted to get off at the hospital, along with all the people from upstairs. I was now occupying negative space. Not easy when you are actually two people tied together. I think I should make my bus etiquette guide into a flyer and distribute it at every playgroup in London. It’s not often that I claim to know it all, but this is buses people. I know my shizzle.

But happier times were ahead. For the bus journey only last ten minutes and then we’re in the heart of tourist cake-land. We got off at Horse Guards Parade as Big Ben was striking 11 and something buried deep in my brain suggested that something significant might happen around that time. Co-incidentally, a discussion on a baby forum recently had reminded me that I had never been in Horse Guards Parade at the right time before. So, it being 11 on the dot we went to watch the soldiers and the horsies perform the Changing of the Guard.

Reuben was confused by this turn of events – we were meant to be eating cake but here we were watching horses parade around. He was relatively interested in the soldiers and horses, but was far more interested in the prospect of cake. As for me, I’m glad to have finally ticked this box in my London Experiences and it was certainly impressively regimented, but it wasn’t anything amazing. I too was more interested in cake.

So onto the cake. Sadly BB Bakery weren’t making rainbow cake today. Foiled! But it’s hard to be glum when you have amazing blueberry cupcake (see above) and Roo wasn’t bothered anyway. He’d maintained all along that he didn’t want rainbow cake, he wanted pink cake. And they had those. They were pretty good. The icing tasted like frozen yoghurt if that’s not too weird an idea. And the base was light and fluffy and beautiful. The apple juice was predictably organic, the bill predictably hefty. But it was lovely.

I have high standards for cake this week. We went to a BritMums Bloggers Meet on Wednesday at the Fleet River Bakery( see above) and they too did amazing cake. Red velvet cupcakes with some kind of cheesecake topping. Beautiful. Reuben even sat still at a table and ate his nicely while playing quietly with toys. Until the sugar rush kicked in and he raced round with his toy saw pretending to saw strangers’ legs off.

Which brings me back to today. For a full half hour or so, while Eva slept in the wrap Reuben sat and ate his cake with a fork, drank his apple juice and we chatted. It was lovely. In some ways, he’s grown up a lot lately. In other ways, he really hasn’t. But it was nice to have some Mummy-boy time without his sister, and the really expensive cake was enough to persuade him to sit still for a while. I worried when we went in that it would be one of those places that was Too Nice for us, but he behaved remarkably well. Outside, Covent Garden was gridlocked and filled with police and rage-y drivers. We sat indoors, listening to soothing music and playing I-spy. Very relaxing. Obviously, there were a couple of delicate ornaments by the stairs that he tried to sit on, but that’s just standard 3-year-old stuff.

Then we went to the toilets and discovered a whole other room downstairs. Reuben liked this room so much that he wanted to get his potty and pee in there. Luckily we didn’t have his potty, so I was able to persuade him otherwise. The smell may have ruined the ambience somewhat.

After that, we went to the Australian shop and bought what must be pure-gold TimTams, then it was time to dash back to nursery stopping only at Tesco to buy my famous “bus picnic”. Lately, Reuben’s been requesting nothing but dry bread for lunch. It could be because he’s been sick a few times recently, but that seems unlikely given the cake-eating a few minutes before. More likely is that he’s just being random and it’s another weird Reuben phase. But as phases go, it’s not a bad one and as picnics go, it’s an economical one. He calls it “boy bread”. Here he is at the bus stop, enjoying his “boy bread”.

Now., where’s that “Mother of the Year” award?!

Posted in Cake and the finest wines known to humanity (eating out) | Tagged buses, cake, Central London, horses | 4 Comments

Kennington Park in the snow – 21/01/13

Posted on January 21, 2013 by katese11

Just a few pictures, really. To reassure you that I’m not as bad a mother as you think I am. For every stressful, disappointing snow day and crazy mission there’s also a good romp around in the park with his bestest friends and a sledge made out of a tea tray. Thanks to my friend Abi for (unexpectedly) providing the sledge and to K,J&A for coming out to play (check out that multiple rhyming!)