London With a Teenager

More Christmassy Things

Posted on December 8, 2013 by katese11

We’ve been busy lately. Well, kinda. Eva got very busy on Tuesday night, decorating the lounge with things that had, until recently, been in her babytummy. So that made for a dull couple of days’ quarantine but since then we’ve been out and about and finding some pretty, Christmassy things for you to all look at. Yesterday was particularly complex. Roo and I went to Greenwich first thing in the morning to see “Free Birds” – the most difficult part of this plan, as Reuben is demonstrating, was trying to get a 4-year-old to strike a sensible pose: After the cinema, we spotted the Coca-Cola truck, which apparently signals that the holidays are coming. We didn’t join the massive queue for a photo, but I did get a free mini can of Coke from the elves. Pity it was open and I’d just had a massive Diet Coke at the cinema. It got jettisoned just before we got back on the tube because I was already carrying a lot and things were about to get more complex still. We were meeting Nathan and Eva at the playground next to the London Eye but Nathan’s phone is off at the phone doctors’ at the moment so we had to do the old-fashioned thing of arranging somewhere to meet in advance and actually sticking to it. Amazingly, the plan worked, although finding the rest of our friends in the bottlenecked Christmas market was harder. Harder still was actually getting through the Christmas market to see anything. We had a slow shuffle there and back, before our friend Fil came up with the solution of nipping behind the huts and taking the fast lane as far as the pier. As we broke off from the crowd, a trail of people followed us and as we looked back, we could see that Fil had created a sort of rudimentary one-way system. I’m not sure you’re meant to do that, but it certainly worked. Shortly afterwards, we gave up on the Christmas market and nipped over the top to the food market at the back of the Royal Festival Hall. Along the way, we saw a bicycle-powered snow globe and a huge Christmas tree that excited Reuben: We scored some free samples of hot cider and sausage and Reuben spent his hard-earned pocket money on a brownie that I only nabbed a tiny bit of. Then it was off to a party hosted by H’sMamaAndDada that involved, among other things, the small children gardening in the dark: Today was the annual carol service at church, where the choir sang beautifully…even if I do say so myself. Thanks to the difficulties of parking in the city on a Sunday, we ended up parking in Hoxton, just outside the Pure Evil department store (it’s OK, it’s ironic evil) and walked through the city back to London Wall. Look, even the back end of Liverpool Street can be pretty on a winter’s morning: Along the way, we found a giant reindeer (Reuben is in for scale) And a wistful little Christmassy tree near the giant building site at Broadgate. Even the Square Mile looks festive at the moment. Hoxton itself has graffiti and street art on every corner, from the impressive to the mundane. But I was not at all surprised that my boys took a shine to this tile mosaic: It’s not very Christmassy, but there will be more Christmassy wanderings to come…and don’t forget that the Christmas film season is continuing at the Tea House tomorrow with “The Grinch” and “Frosty the Snowman”. A continued Happy Advent to you!

Posted in Just wandering.... | Tagged Central London, Christmas, southbank centre | 1 Comment

Christmas in London 2013

Posted on December 2, 2013 by katese11

It’s December, which means it’s officially time to start getting a bit Christmassy. In the space of one day, we have managed to drink mulled wine, eat mince pies, sing carols and watch “Uncle Buck”, which Eva’s Godfather assures us is a Christmas movie (it’s not). So I thought it was time for a little preview of what you can do in London with your kids this Christmas. Some of these might be on every other Advent list out there…hopefully some might tell you something new….

This Saturday, it’s the annual Christmas Pudding Race in Covent Garden. We went last year and it was lots of fun if freezing cold. A couple of words of warning – 1) just because it gives you a start time, doesn’t mean the race starts at that time. We waited about an hour last time and it was blimmin’ freezing. 2) Your small child will want to climb over the soft-play esque course themselves and meltdowns may occur when they realise they can’t. But it’s still fun to watch. You can also see the Lego advent calendar while you’re there.

Peppa Pig’s Big Splash also opens this weekend, at the Criterion Theatre in Piccadilly. It’s not strictly Christmassy, but it’s a nice treat for preschoolers and it’s running from 5th December until 5th January. Who doesn’t love Peppa? Maybe people who hang their washing next to muddy puddles and are hoping no-one jumps in them…

This weekend, we’re braving the Southbank Christmas Market which is normally full of gluhwein and cinnamon pastry things. Last year, there was also a carousel. It’s crowded, but not quite as manic as Winter Wonderland – the river on one side makes it feel a lot less claustrophobic. Again, it might be freezing…

One of LWAT’s favourite museums, the Horniman, is holding their Christmas Fair this weekend, with crafts to do, carol singing and lots of lovely-looking stalls. There’s also a Santa’s grotto and storytelling for kids. Meanwhile, the winner of our “London’s Most Toddler-Friendly Cafe” award, the Dish and the Spoon have their own festive storytelling session coming up on 13th Dec with the lovely and slightly mad Becky of Nimble Arts telling “Festive Stories”. Maria and I went there for the autumnal version on Friday, with ukuleles, cellos and puppets. Of course, Eva wandered off but it’s not you Becky, it’s her… Another LWAT favourite, the Tea House Theatre is also getting Christmassy, with another season of their post-school Christmas kids’ films. Details are in the picture below:

Over in Westfield Stratford, there’s a Woolly Wonderland in association with “Save the Children” and there will be various activities going on, including Gruffalo-storytelling. Eva and I are going on Wednesday, so I will report back with more details then. And lastly, for older kids there’s “Potted Panto” at Trafalgar Studios. It’s 7 pantos in 80 minutes – I haven’t seen it yet, but I saw the same guys doing “Potted Potter” in 2007 and almost cried laughing. So, it’s probably worth a watch.

Happy Advent!

Posted in What I suppose you'd call "tips"....? | Tagged Central London, Christmas, cinema, museums, South London, southbank centre | 2 Comments

London Without a Toddler – Julie Madly Deeply

Posted on November 27, 2013 by katese11

Photo by Steve Ullathorne. Grainy resolution is by UnTechyKate Productions

It’s a little known fact about me that I love Julie Andrews…and by “little known” I mean that everyone knows it. Even random people I walk past in the street know it, thanks to the way I skip along, swinging my guitar case and sporting a huge hat. So when I heard a new show about Julie’s life was coming to Trafalgar Studios, I just knew I had to see it.

You know how sometimes you meet someone and you just understand each other straight away? Well, that’s how I felt about Sarah-Louise Young, who was narrating the show, playing Julie, singing and playing a host of other characters as well. As soon as she talked about the O2 show, I felt like she was saying exactly what I was thinking. You see, Julie played the O2 in 2010 – I was there, along with about 50,000 of her other closest fans – and was savaged by the critics for not really doing much and just sitting back while some glossy Broadway pros sang her old songs. The reviews said her fans were disappointed, but I wasn’t disappointed. I knew she couldn’t sing any more and it was enough just to be in the same room as her, albeit a very, very big room. Sarah-Louise Young felt the same way and so, in those first few minutes, she won me over. I was going to try and review this in an objective way but it’s impossible. If you love Julie as much as I do, you’ll find a kindred spirit in Sarah-Louise. Of course, you don’t have to be a Julie Andrews obsessive to enjoy it, but it helps.

The narrative device was simple – a chronological look at Julie’s life. But cleverly woven in were Julie’s songs, and impressions of the characters who shaped her career – everyone from her singing teacher to Richard Rodgers (although not Oscar Hammerstein – he was “selectively mute” for the night). This is where the genius of the show lies – not only does Sarah-Louise do an uncanny Julie, she also nails Liza Minelli, understudying Julie in “Victor Victoria” (“Is this too much, darling?”) and Audrey Hepburn getting the lead in “My Fair Lady” (“Well, I’ve never been much of a singer”). Some impressions aren’t so accurate , but are played for comedic effect – Richard Rodgers is an extra from “Oklahoma”, one of the directors is a Jewish cliché – and all are pulled off seamlessly. With a stand-up’s confidence and timing, she ably deals with anything that goes wrong – shuffling an imaginary penguin offstage and improv-ing with pianist, partner and joke-fodder Michael Roulston. The result is a show that is not only touching in its extreme affection for the subject but also surreal and hilarious.

: I think this is “Liza” – Photo by Steve Ullathorne. Grainy resolution is by UnTechyKate Productions

Strangely, for something that is so huge, the actual “Sound of Music” chapter is skimmed over pretty quickly. But references to it are scattered throughout, from the dress Sarah-Louise is wearing to the background music played by Michael. One of my favourite bits took place in total darkness just before the second act started. With audio only, her Julie impression was even more convincing, and I kept reminding myself that it wasn’t real. In the dark, she played both parts in a skit – the Reverend Mother from “Sound of Music” and herself, being reprimanded for skipping out during the interval. “What if you had got lost out there my child?” Reverend Mother asks to which Julie/Sarah-Louise replies “Oh, but it’s Soho. I could never get lost out there.” For an obsessive fan of both London and SoM, that was very gratifiying.

It’s hard to say much else without spoilering it, but I’ll say that it was a brilliant piece of theatre. Michael Roulston on the piano was the perfect back-up – playing like a virtuoso, singing and stepping into the occasional role (Richard Burton, Blake Edwards). There’s occasional audience participation, which culminated in a sing-along during the encore. Given that this was a press show, I was expecting the audience to be cynical and jaded and that I would stick out badly as an overexcited fangirl. But like Sarah-Louise on the SoM tour bus, I felt strangely at home. Everyone joined in enthusiastically with “A Spoonful of Sugar” and other Julie hits and there was rapturous applause. Studio Two is an intimate space, and I’d imagine that a bad show there would feel very awkward indeed. But with a show of such joy and hilarity, the intimacy only enhances it. The only time it felt at all awkward was when Sarah-Louise was high-kicking in a dress right in front of us. I can’t un-see that.

VERDICT: Go, go go. It runs till Jan 4th at the Trafalgar Studios and is the perfect Christmas treat for the Julie fan in your life. If you don’t have a Julie fan in your life, I pity you.

More details here (official site)

Disclaimer: I was given free tickets to the press showing for review purposes. All opinions remain honest and my own.

Posted in Reviewing the Situation | Tagged theatre | 2 Comments

A Little Housewarming

Posted on November 27, 2013 by katese11

I think we’re back, on all new servers and an all new WordPress system. After a fretful evening with the blog offline, which I broke up by watching a Julie Andrews impersonator, I think it’s all back online again. Not the header image, or the followers or the widgets…but the content at least. I hope. Anyway, this is mainly a tester post before I a) go to bed and b) spend hours pouring my heart out in my “Julie Madly Deeply” review tomorrow. Goodnight!

Posted in Facts! And facts are important! | Tagged blogging | Leave a comment

Big Fish Little Fish Tufnell Park – 24/11/13

Posted on November 25, 2013 by katese11

Last time we went to Big Fish Little Fish, it was a 30C day in July and we were fresh from the paddling pool. Today was a bit of a stark contrast. Firstly, it was in North London not South. Secondly, it was blimin’ freezing outside. But it’s OK, upstairs on the dancefloor things were nightclubbingly sweaty.

First, though, we had to get Reuben past the play area which wasn’t going to be easy. Eva was asleep in the sling at the time, so we decided to just let him play for a bit while we sat down. We needed to preserve some energy for dancing, and it was fun to watch the various panto-themed people milling about (all our clothes are packed up, so we weren’t themed, sadly). A woman breastfeeding while in a giant red wig was something I have definitely never seen before. There was an ice-cream stall downstairs, next to the buggy park and the chill-out area, but weirdly the thought of ice-cream wasn’t quite as appealing as it had been in July.

Eventually we prised Reuben out of the play tent and went to have a look upstairs. It was packed, and warm. The venue is way bigger than the Brixton one we went to, but it was sold out and full. Daddies filled the dance floor with little girls one their shoulders. Mothers swayed with babies in slings (mainly FFO baby bjorns, for anyone who likes spotting babywearers). My own baby in a sling had woken up as soon as we got upstairs and was staring blearily around in the manner of someone who’s just woken up in the middle of a dancefloor (her father often fell asleep while clubbing too). Meanwhile, Reuben was on a quest to find somewhere dark to see how bright his glowband was, which involved diving under one of the stalls before being hauled out.

Nathan and I never quite manage to divide and conquer, but we went for our usual divide and cope instead. I turfed sleepy Eva out for a dance, Nathan chased Roo, we got some free smoothies and bear snacks and swapped kids. Then swapped again. Last time, it was me trying to keep track of both of them in a dark and crowded room. This time, there were two of us and the room was significantly lighter. But there was still a lot of chasing about as an over-excited Roo kept haring off to see what was going on. Somewhere in it all, we managed to find time for a dance to “Step On” by the Happy Mondays and “Justified and Ancient” by the KLF. Then Eva went off for a wander, dragging Nathan about by the finger and Reuben tried to catch the bubbles with his glowband.

At some point, we also spotted Danny Wallace. I was too shy to say hello, as I’m still reeling from meeting SidBeebies a few weeks back. But I did tweet Danny because, yknow, after he published my letter in his column it’s almost like we know each other. And here was his response:

@LondonWAToddler Aw! Should've said hi! Next time.

— Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) November 24, 2013

Aww, and bless. What a lovely celebrity he is. Word on the street is that there were a few other celebrities there too, but I’m not the best ‘sleb-spotter so I wouldn’t have recognised them. Instead, I probably shoved past them as I was trying to follow Reuben around. Sorry ‘slebs.

So, we danced, we didn’t quite make crafts (but picked up a craft kit to take home) and Roo demonstrated the event’s signature moves, for all who are unsure. I think this is the little fish:

And these two are different bits of the cardboard box:

The dancefloor had definitely thinned out a little by 3:30, which gave Roo more room for his “moves”. He also sat on the edge of the stage for a bit because the boy just cannot resist a stage. Especially after his starring role as “second gingerbread man from the right” in his class assembly on Friday. Besides, the stage was a prime spot for popping bubbles with his glowband:

As you can probably tell, there was quite a Christmassy theme going on, hence the panto-dress code and the tinsel on the stairs. It still feels slightly early for all that, but I’d come straight from a choir practice at church where we’d been singing carols, so I guess it’s time to Christmas up.

Overall, it was fun. It was a bit like you’d expect a rave that’s filled with toddlers to be – sticky, noisy and crowded – but as long as you’re expecting that, it’s fine. The play area downstairs was good for taking a break from the madness, and we stopped off there before heading home. Then left before Reuben carried out his threat of finding a whistle from somewhere. Next to the tube, we found a shop bearing our initials (NK) and, be still my beating heart, it stocked every flavour of Transform-A-Snack. A tasty way to end an afternoon of ravin’

More details here (official site)

Posted in Creating precious childhood memories or something (days out) | Tagged disco, music, North London | 2 Comments

Wauwaa Winner Announced!

Posted on November 23, 2013 by katese11

But I won’t announce it just yet because I’ve been stung that way before (darn spoiler-y preview text)…so first off, here’s the most popular name in our Doctor Who-inspired baby poll. It’s David! The handsome 10th Doctor, as he’s traditionally known, was played by David Tennant and right now he’s threatening a rabbit (Thanks to ToddlaGirl, we’re watching the episode on delay TV). David Tennant’s hobbies include mud-wrestling Ewan McGregor in giant chocolate pies.

Anyway, enough of this stalling. It’s time to announce the winner. Co-incidentally, she is the only person who attempted to bribe me in this giveaway but LWAT and random.org remain as unbiased and incorruptible as ever. Congratulations to…

Cassie Pearse! Enjoy that puppy bag 🙂

Posted in Facts! And facts are important! | Tagged giveaway | Leave a comment

Gobaby App, a Sponsored Post in Association with Wauwaa

Posted on November 22, 2013 by katese11

Have you entered the wauwaa giveaway yet? You totally should. There’s only one day left, and you could win a £50 voucher, to buy puppy rucksacks or whatever it is you like.

Meanwhile, in association with wauwaa, I was asked to test a new app called Gobaby London, which helps you navigate Central London with a baby by showing you where the nearest step-free tube stations and baby changing facilities are. It also shows shops, restaurants and places of interest where you can hang out with babies. The new wintery edition also has Boots pharmacies listed, so you can pick up spare tissues and cough syrup if your baby develops a cold while out and about. Boots also sells chocolate, which is an essential part of any Mama About Town’s tool kit.

In some ways, it’s a natural fit for LWAT. After all, this blog is all about getting out and about and this app facilitates that. In other ways, I’m not the ideal person to review it because a) the changing tables of South London would be my specialist subject on Mastermind and b) I tend to go to pretty obscure places. So this week, the app and I have been to Highams Park, Lee, Liverpool Street and Maze Hill and the only time I went to Piccadilly Circus, I was child-free (but I did have that little person I mentioned in the last post). The app info is definitely more centred around Central London, which is ideal for visitors and people who don’t make a habit of hanging out in Zone 3 just for giggles.

There are a few blips, naturally as this is still in development. But it always managed to find us on the GPS and, looking at the area around Oxford St and Soho, it gives lots of options for changing places and child-friendly restaurants which are all pretty accurate as far as I can see. I’ve also taken it for a virtual spin around Covent Garden and, again, there are lots of places listed and they are all coded according to whether they offer highchairs, baby changing and a kids’ menu. So for the average person who wants to visit London, the main areas they’ll be heading to are covered. It’s a massively ambitious idea to try and plot all the shops and restaurants of even just Central London so I imagine it will be a work in progress for a while now, but it works fine as long as you don’t go too far out.

The tube station info is all very useful as well. It’s not a route planner but it does tell you how many steps to expect, if any. Certain stations, like Battersea Park, as marked as “not recommended” because they are too inaccessible, which is useful to know before you get there. The reviews on the app are user-powered and as such there aren’t loads on there yet, but again this is something that will increase with time.

And, of course, it looks stylish, with a signature colour of what I like to call “Alice Becker purple”. I love the added snow for winter, and it’s arrived just in time for the extreme weather warnings. It’s very easy to use and find your way around, even for an app novice. It does occasionally crash out, but that might just be my phone…

So, in general, a thumbs-up for Gobaby London. I’ll be interested to see how it grows over the next few weeks and months.

Disclaimer for ASA purposes: I was given (non-monetary) compensation for this post but, as ever, all opinions remain honest and my own.

Posted in Reviewing the Situation | Tagged apps, Central London, eating out, shopping, The, tube | Leave a comment

Competition Time!!! With Wauwaa!

Posted on November 21, 2013 by katese11

It’s my 250th post, and as my old boss knows, I love a round number. So to celebrate, I’m giving a £50 voucher for fab new parenting site wauwaa. It’s got a shop full of cute things, which happen to be on sale right now (I’m eyeing up the puppy backpack), so it could help buy some lovely Christmas presents for the small people in your life, like Eva’s godmother Ellie.

Wauwaa has parenting advice, NHS videos (one of which features me and Nathan), streamed LWAT blog posts and articles written by the ridoinkulously funny Jo Gatford (if anyone has any better idea on how to write ridoinkulous, do let me know). All you have to do is fill in the contact form below and the winner will be selected by random.org. It’s only running for two days, as I’ve decided to entirely arbitrarily tie it in with another 50 milestone – the 50th Anniversary Doctor Who episode this Saturday. So, the winner will be announced at 21:05 on 23rd November, just after the episode finishes.

It’s a Doctor Who themed question, with a baby-link too. Remember, it closes in 48 hours so enter now to win!

[contact-form]

Posted in Facts! And facts are important! | Tagged giveaway | 1 Comment

Where Do We Go From Here?

Posted on November 19, 2013 by katese11

A week ago, I made myself a jacket potato in the microwave. While it was cooling down, I wrote a little post about a certain Professional Hater who didn’t know how to argue. I ate my potato. And the internets went mad. Turned out a few people agreed with me on the subject and it got passed around Facebook from one group to another. I learnt a lesson that day – if you’re going to illustrate a post with a cheeky selfie, make sure it’s a good one. Don’t just take a snap of yourself in working-from-home-eating-potatoes slobbery. You never know when the population of a small town might see it. That’s why I normally use my children as models, and that’s why today’s post has an entirely arbitrary photo of a tube train with an identity crisis (it’s clearly a Piccadilly Line train, but it’s on the Northern Line. What The Actual Heckatty?)

But it all got me thinking. Every time I rant about something, it gets me a spike in my stats. Admittedly, this spike was a bit bigger than the others.. so clearly slagging off celebrities gets me way more readers than reviewing sandpits. Should I diversify into celeb-slagging then? It’s tempting, but I’m thinking no. London with a Toddler has a clear objective – it’s a blog about London with toddlers. It’s a positive kind of thing and (hopefully) encourages parents to take toddlers out in a city that might seem scary at first. Happy happy. I enjoy a rant every now and again, but if it was the sole focus of the blog, I think I might lose the will to live. It wouldn’t be long before I was as shrivelled and bitter as the people I’m criticising. Hate breeds hate etc. So, nothing’s going change, but that doesn’t mean that Hopkins et al have carte blanche to attack parents in any way they like. I will be watching closely. And, as a person who just used two French phrases in a word, I am clearly not to be messed with*.

One thing that will change is that I’m finally “manning up” and going self-hosted. Hopefully, the transition will be smooth and I won’t lose any content into a black hole named Technical Incompetence, but I can’t guarantee that. It means that I can start to “monetize” the blog, if that’s not too appalling a word, but I’m hoping to do it quite subtly. Eventually, I would love to have some sponsorship from nice, local businesses who fit the LWAT ethos (i.e. like cake, don’t slag off parents all the time). If anyone’s reading this who has one of those businesses and would like some very reasonable advertising rates, do contact me at londonwithatoddler@gmail.com. We’ll talk.

So I guess that’s where we go from here. Much the same. Two stops and then change at Bank. I’ll be reviewing an exciting new London-baby-app later this week and there will be a giveaway soon too. Continue to wait on the edge of your seats…

*An imaginary friend has just pointed out that “et al” is, in fact, Latin. I guess that means I am someone to be messed with after all…

Posted in Facts! And facts are important! | Tagged blogging | 5 Comments

A Heartfelt Plea to Katie Hopkins

Posted on November 12, 2013 by katese11

Katie, there’s something I need to tell you and I feel like it’s best coming from me. After all, we have the same name and names are so important, aren’t they? I mean, no wonder you didn’t want to enter into a dialogue with Peaches Geldof – she has a stupid name. How could her opinions possibly be worth anything with a name like that?

So, here it is, Kate to Kate…and it pains me to say this to you, because I really am a devoted fan but you need to hear this.

Oh Katie, the problem is you keep making yourself look stupid. Your arguments have no logic or even any point and that, I’m afraid, is letting down the Kate side. It used to be that just having a posh voice meant that people thought you were intelligent, and so you could get away with appearing on live TV without a single well-formed argument in your armoury. But this is the age of social media, where people pick apart everything you say and I’m sorry to say this Katie, but some of the things you say don’t really stand up to a second hearing.

Take the end of the segment, for example. Peaches presented a study from Harvard on the detrimental effects of controlled crying and how did you counter that? By saying “Attachment Parents are crap parents”. That’s not really an answer, is it Katie? I mean I know it’s only data from an American University, and you probably have some views on just how good they are, but apparently people respect that particular one and it kind of looks like Peaches may have won the argument there.

I’m sure you could have come up with some great arguments against Attachment Parenting if you’d tried. You’re educated, aren’t you? You went to the University of Exeter, which is pretty much the Harvard of Devon. If you’d only had a fact or two at your disposal, you could have blown that young thing out of the water. But saying that Swedish children are spoilt brats with nothing to back it up…it’s a bit weak.

Listen to me Katie, I’m here to help. You’d like me. I’m middle-class, I have a posh accent and a degree, my children all have nice, middle-class names. True, I might be one of those parents who breastfeed their toddler and sleep in a bed with them, but that’s OK as long as we have the same name, right? Names are the most important thing.

I also wrap my baby in a long bit of material, which I know you deem unacceptable but I’ll find an alternative, honest Katie. Anything to make you happy. The problem is, I don’t know what. You mocked Peaches for using a pram, so that option’s out. Maybe I’ll get a 4×4 and use that to get the children around every time we need to go anywhere. I mean, I live in London and the nearest shop is 100 metres away but if it makes my parenting more acceptable in your eyes Katie, I’ll do it.

The problem is, I just can’t seem to get away from the material thing. I heard your point about how you see mothers with babies wrapped in material and although you didn’t say why this was a bad thing, I assume from your tone of voice that it was. But everything my baby wears is material based. Should I stop clothing her? Or look into plastic clothes or vacuum-sealing into her carseat? Help me Katie, I really am a loss with this one.

But on one point, I am totally hearing you. And that’s on not letting the baby rule the household. What an absurd notion, letting a toddler with no sense of reason dictate what everyone does! No, that doesn’t happen in our household. The 4-year-old is firmly in charge and we all know it. The baby has no choice at all – whatever he tells her to do, she has to do it. After all, he’s got an education behind him (7 weeks’ worth now!) so he’s the logical choice to be the decision-maker. I cannot abide people who let their toddlers choose what to have for dinner or which park to go to. That’s the 4-year-old’s job and everyone should know that!

So, help me out here Katie. Just a weeny bit of research, just one statistic here or there could make such a difference. Because I want to agree with everything you say, as a fellow Kate. I want to be behind you 100% and then some. I admire you so much. I often pick on people because of their names, or slag off arbitrary groups of mothers just because I can. Hopefully one day I’ll get the chance to be filmed having sex with someone else’s husband in a field, because that’s how much I want to be like you. I even spend hours in front of the mirror, practising my pursed-lips look, to get it Just Right. So I’m urging you to just be careful what you say in front of the cameras. We don’t want to have to kick you out of the Kate Club.

Thank you Katie, and God Bless you for your outstanding contribution to society.

Posted in Rants | Tagged attachment parenting | 57 Comments