Mallorca ’22


We’ve just come back from five nights in Mallorca. Well, five and a half nights but we’ll get to that. I know you’re expecting unbearable smugness but don’t worry. It still had a LWAT-chaosy edge to it all so I’m gonna tell you the good and the bad. Don’t get me wrong – I’m hugely grateful to be able to leave the country after nearly three years of confinement and I’m very aware that being able to afford a foreign holiday is a massive privilege during a cost of living crisis. I was just as grateful to go to Wales last year and see my sister and her family after a year and a half. I was also super grateful to go to Harwich in 2020 after six months of not leaving London. So I am totally grateful for a few days in Mallorca. But it was far from perfect. Buckle in…or should I say “seatbelts on”?

The Good:

Alcúdia Beach:

Absolutely lovely warm water and soft sand. Shallow enough for a non-swimmer to confidently scamper about and deep enough for a swimmer to have a decent splash. All the sun loungers and shades were taken, which was a challenge in the direct sun but some a sweet German lad gifted us a parasol which would have been very helpful on our return trip. Pity our return trip was in the rain…

All the swimming pools:

I love to swim and the resort we were staying in had eight of them. Well, only seven were open but it kept the kids occupied trying to track them all down. We spent most of the day in them when we weren’t walking to the beach or eating. They weren’t perfect and I found a lot of discarded plastic cups in them but they were clean enough. The big water slides were closed but Reuben enjoyed the ones that were open.

All the eating:

We decided to go for all-inclusive because it’s not a proper holiday if you have to do the washing up. The food wasn’t fancy but we’re not fancy folk, so that’s fine. And Eva agreed to eat something at every meal, which was quite the bonus. Free, self-service soft drinks and slushies were definite pros for the kids

The mountain views:

I do love being surrounded by mountains even if I defied the Reverend Mother and didn’t attempt to climb even one mountain, let alone every mountain. Sorry Reverend Mother.


The Bad:

Wizz Air check in:

I don’t know whether it’s Brexit or Covid or just choosing a bargain-basement airline but it’s a bit unbearable to queue for an hour just to check in our hold luggage (which obviously we paid a fortune to take with us). There was no information at all on flight times at check in at Gatwick and the information at Palma was inaccurate. Both queues were chaotic – Palma slightly better than Gatwick – and you definitely need to factor that time in when flying, as well as the usual two hours before departure and time for car parking etc.

The four-hour delay on the way home:

That evening flight which got us in at midnight? Forget that. We spent seven hours at Palma with very little information and a paltry 4 euros each in compensation. I can’t relive it too much but it meant we needed to book a hotel in Crawley so that Nathan wasn’t driving 40 miles at 5am with no sleep. I’m not best pleased with Wizz Air right now, in case you can’t tell.

The coach transfer:

Two hour flight. Two hours on a coach visiting some very random parts of the island. Bed at 1am. Remind me to book a taxi next time.

The mosquitoes:

I think I counted 100 bites and that was after dousing myself in citronella. If you’re planning a visit, pack the industrial stuff (and not in your hand luggage). I don’t have any photos to illustrate this point, but you should probably be glad about that.

The power cut:

Six hours without running water or power put something of a crimp on our second night, after spending most of the first night on a coach. It might sound moany, but power is kinda vital when you’re on the fifth floor and neither the lifts nor the aircon are working… I don’t have any photos for this one either cause it was…well…dark.

Anyway, I asked the kids and they said they had a lovely time. And we did too, really. I realise I sound moany but I got to swim in a warm sea and many, many pools and eat cake at every meal so it’s all good. There was just quite a lot of complications to deal with in a short space of time. I think we might not leave London for the next few days….


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