“Hadestown” at the Lyric Theatre – 09/02/25

I may have mentioned before that Eva is a bit obsessed with musicals at the moment and “Hadestown” is one of her particular faves. So when we were on the bus to school, she looked at my phone over my shoulder and noticed an extremely well-targeted Facebook ad that told me I could not miss Melanie La Barrie’s last performance as Hermes.

Eva concurred. We could not. So right there, on the top deck of the bus, I went on to the Lyric Theatre website and managed to nab the last two £25 tickets in the whole theatre. They weren’t in the same row but one was just in front of the other. They were sold as restricted view but Eva assured me that they were the same ones she’d sat in before and the view was just fine. This was not her first “Hadestown” experience, you see, but it would be mine. I had seen the snippets at Musical Con but this would be the first time I watched the show all the way through.

She also insisted that she would be dressing as Hermes for the occasion. It took a little bit of charity shopping and eBaying but we got something together that I think looked pretty authentic:

I didn’t know that much about the show, compared to Eva, but I looked at some pictures on Sunday morning and thought I could cobble together a reasonable approximation of a Fates costume:

We were heading to the show from church – in fact, I was really meant to be at a partners’ meeting instead of at the theatre but I passed it off as spending the afternoon ruminating on the nature of Hell and the afterlife. We so rarely discuss that in partners’ meetings.

We spent a long time on the 38 but it did go pretty much door to door and dropped us right outside the theatre with an hour to go before curtain up. There was a queue formed already and a number of people who’d joined Eva in cosplaying, which she was very excited about. We needed food before we went in so we nipped to the Trocadero branch of That Fries Emporium to carb up for a lengthy show.

Still, we had plenty of time to climb up those hundreds of stairs before the show started and time to buy a programme as well. Our seats were steeply banked and my plan of climbing from Eva’s row to mine almost cost me a thigh muscle but I made it. Just. The view was indeed a little restricted but we could see nearly everything that we needed to.

I’m aware that this performance was a bit of a superfan event so I was probably a bit out of place as a first-timer. I was wrangling a legitimate La Barrie fangirl though and she was dressed to prove it. So I feel like we justified our seats on this most special afternoon.

And it was indeed special. As soon as the cast walked out, the applause was so thunderous that I thought the whole thing might never get started. Everyone – on stage and off – was emotional already and it hadn’t even kicked off yet. It was going to be totes emosh. Sorry, I did promise Eva I’d never use that phrase again but hey, she’s at Shakespeare while I’m writing this so she will never know.

If you don’t live with a “Hadestown” fangirl, you might not be familiar with the plot but I’ll explain it. It’s basically a Deep South jazz setting of two Greek myths – Orpheus and Eurydice mixed with Hades and Persephone. There are a few Greek myth shows on the “to-see” list at the moment so this could be a bit of a theme for 2025. And for those of you not familiar with Greek myths, heed my warning….they don’t often have a happy ending.

There isn’t a huge amount of plot, especially over a 2.5 hour show. Orpheus sees Eurydice and falls in love with her, only to lose her while he’s busy writing a song. Anyone who’s ever dated a musician will understand how that happens. Then he needs to go to the underworld to bring her back only to be offered a very specific deal by Hades – he can lead her out of Hell as long as he never looks backwards to check that she’s following him. You know, that ropey kind of deal that Greek gods are always trying to make with mortals. Hades’ wife is Persephone, who is trapped in an equally ropey deal – she has to spend half the year in the underworld in order to be free to enjoy the sunshine in the other six months of the year. When we meet Persephone in the show, she’s not enjoying the arrangement and Hades, quite frankly, does not seem like a good husband.

Hermes, messenger to the gods, acts as narrator to the whole tale and the Fates intervene to bend the characters to their own will. Just for transparency, Eva has now returned from Shakespeare and is reading this over my shoulder so she knows about the totes emosh thing. Totes awks.

The show is almost pretty much sung through, with dialogue usually mid-song rather than between songs. The style is quite jazzy but some of the slower songs have a different feel. “Wait for Me” sounds like a Celtic ballad – possibly because the last two Orpheuses (Orpheusi?) have been Scottish and Irish respectively. My favourite songs were all from the Fates. I’m an absolute sucker for three-part harmony, which I blame on being brought up listening to the Supremes. I even had a plan to go and live on ZingZilla Island as a Beach Byrd one day when the London winter was a bit too much. So I loved the way they sang together and songs like “When the Chips are Down” had a different feel to the full-on ensemble numbers. I have heard reviews of the show that complain about the band being too loud for the vocals but I can’t say we had that issue – we could hear everything that was sung or said. It might be different closer to the stage but up in the extreme gods (not Hades) we could hear just fine.

We’d had a preview of Dylan Wood (Orpheus) and Madeline Charlemagne (Eurydice) singing their duet at MusicalCon but it was lovely to see them a few months on, being so much more confident in their roles. Dylan will be returning as Orpheus after the OBC have their stint and I think Madeline is currently reprising her old role as a Fate but it was the last time they were going to be singing together in this way and so it did feel extra special, like Eva and I had been there at the start and end of their journey. Similarly, Rachel Tucker (Persephone) and Trevor Dion Nicholas (Hades) were playing out their toxic but passionate relationship for the last time and that too we’d seen the start of back in October. When “Wicked” came out and my entire social media feed was nothing but Oz-related content, Rachel Tucker was often cited as one of the great Elphabas. So it’s been a real privilege seeing her sing live not once but twice now.

But the undoubted star of Sunday’s show was Melanie La Barrie. That was what many people were there for, after all. She’s widely regarded as one of the great Hermeses (Hermesii?) and even André de Shields himself said as much at Musical Con. She has such a calm assurance to her performance and is a fabulous storyteller, which is what the role needs. At the curtain call, everyone was crying and saying what a matriarch she was to the cast and I can well believe that.

I’m getting ahead of myself, though. There was much more to talk about before we get to the curtain call. Like the remarkable staging that allowed actors to literally descend into the underworld. I was slightly perturbed by the way the giant hole in the stage remained after the actors had descended – maybe it’s just because of how clumsy I am but I was so sure someone was about to fall into it. Also, a more obsessive person than me would have been irritated by the way the revolving stage meant that the lines of the floorboards almost never lined up. But I’m not obsessive in that way, thankfully. Given how simple the set was initially though, it was remarkable how much they did with it.

The band onstage were also remarkable – so in synch and full of energy through a lengthy show. It does make a difference having the band integrated into the action and I might be wrong but I believe Orpheus is actually playing the guitar onstage as well, rather than just miming like some other shows would have him do. I wish he’d invest in a guitar case though – if the road to hell is a hard road then he shouldn’t just sling his “lyre” over his shoulder like that. If he breaks a tuning peg, he’ll have to replace the whole machine head. I know he’s a poor boy but if he can afford a nice guitar, he can afford a case too.

Health and Safety and instrument care aside, I have no real criticisms of this show. The runtime goes quickly considering it’s full length and doesn’t have much of a plot. Persephone is a delightful drunk, skipping around in her green in the world above and sulking in black down below. Hades is suitably menacing and, as Eva tells me, the only Bass in the whole of musical theatre. I’m not sure she’s correct on that but he certain had some impressively low notes. As does Eurydice, which is interesting considering that Orpehus sings in falsetto a lot of the time. So when they’re duetting they’re tonally a lot closer together than you’d normally hear in a male-female duet. If I was going to nitpick the plot, I’d say that they make some very rash decisions based on only knowing each other for a few minutes but aren’t young people just impulsive like that? And characters in Greek myths rarely make good decisions.

The ensemble also worked together well, especially in the underworld where they moved in perfect unison as Hades’ maltreated employees. It’s not a massive cast but the stage feels full most of the time and there always seems to be something to look at. I loved the variety of actors in the cast…it really felt diverse and inclusive, both in terms of age and race. The setting is Deep South but the exact setting and era are kept deliberately vague in order to make this a story that could happen to anyone, anywhere. I mean it couldn’t literally happen but the themes of love and hopefulness and wanting a see a better world than the one you see are pretty universal.

It’s also worth saying that they have character-themed cocktails and mocktails in the bar at the interval. We stuck to the traditional ice cream (mango sorbet for her, vegan salted caramel for me) and I managed to just about get to the toilets and back to my seat in time tho it was tight. There are only two ladies’ cubicles at the balcony level, which is better than Macbeth but worse than The Tempest. Some thoughtful ushers escorted a few ladies at the back of the queue to the gents’ just to ensure we all got a chance to go before the second half….I know these details are important to my fellow middle aged women so note well…go early or use the gents’ when invited to.

I’ve skipped all over the show, chronology-wise so I might as well go straight from interval to ending and it was notable that, although everyone in the auditorium had probably seen the show before, they was still a gasp when Eurydice had to descend for the final time. I could hear Eva sobbing in front of me and she was too far away to hug so I just kind of patted her shoulder with the tips of my fingers. “We Raise Our Cups” is always an emotional song, I feel, but probably more so tonight as some of the cast were openly crying through it.

Then there were speeches to each of the departing cast members which I can’t possibly do justice to here but you should look them up on Instagram because they were absolutely beautiful. And together we chorused “story end” to wish Mel La Barrie on her way to her next stop (which was an awards ceremony where she won an award so clearly our good wishes worked). Then I lost Eva briefly.

It’s fine – I knew I could find her at the stage door and so I headed that way and found her in the rain, both sad and elated at the same time. It was always going to be a scrum at the stage door but one we were up for joining so we stood in the cold rain for a while and eventually, out popped…a hand. From these windows up here:

It was hard to tell who the hand belonged to but it was later followed by a face and then another at a different window. We had stumbled upon the West End’s most exciting Advent calendar.

I had guessed we wouldn’t be seeing any cast for a while as they were probably saying their own private goodbyes as well as the public ones. But soon enough. the charming Simon Oskarsson came out to brave the rain and sign our programme. He was followed by a few more hardy souls, including Dylan Wood. It was hard to match faces to names as Eva had the paper copy of the programme and my phone wasn’t loving the rain but I think we met Tiago Dhondt Bamberger, Christopher Short and Winny Herbert. If I’ve got anyone’s names wrong, I sincerely apologise but dang, it was extreme conditions for stage dooring. Anyway, there were all totally lovely and were very complimentary about Eva’s outfit, which made her little theatre kid heart full to bursting.

I had heard on MickeyJo Theatre that Mel herself didn’t do stage door anymore, after an unpleasant encounter with some overly physical fans. But we still glimpsed her and Madeline as they left, which is the point that Eva finally agreed to let me stop standing in the rain and go warm up in the tube. I’m glad we went round to the stage door though, as the actors we met were really very sweet and the fans were all friendly as well. From the looks of the OBC opening night stage door, I think we were lucky and it could have been a lot rowdier than it was. But no, just stagey good vibes and a lot of cold rain.

Of course, now Eva wants to go back and see the new cast when they start. So it’s a sad tale but I might well sing it again and again…..

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“Pig Heart Boy” at Unicorn Theatre – 08/02/25

Akil Young, Immanuel Yeboa, Tré Medley, Pig Heart Boy Production Photo by Ali Wright

It’s been a while since our last visit to Unicorn Theatre, so when I heard about this production of the 1997 Malorie Blackman novel, I jumped at the chance. Of course, the last time we went it was from church not home so I hadn’t actually done the route before, which I kinda forgot about till we were at Liverpool Street. Google Maps told me to get the 47 bus and, as we were grabbing a quick coffee, I blithely waved at one going past and said there would be another soon.

Reader, there was not. A 47 was due on the board but never materialised and, having ignored several London Bridge-bound options, we found ourselves slightly out of time and eventually jumped on the 149. Luckily it was Reuben with me today, not Eva, so power-walking down Tooley Street wasn’t as challenging as it could have been. I don’t regret getting coffee either – I don’t think I could have power walked without it or done the four flights of steps from the toilets in the basement of the Unicorn to the stalls. But both were achieved and we slipped into our seats exactly as the show was meant to start. Phew!

The main reason I brought Reuben with me was because Eva wanted a pyjama day but I’m happy with the reviewing buddy I ended up with. He has a Biology test on the heart on Monday, so this was ideal revision and all theatre trips help towards the GCSE Drama study. He’s also interested in philosophy and this show posed a few ethical questions that made for some interesting conversations on the way home. The age guidance said 9-13 but I would say the content is fairly mature…the characters are in their early teens and the teenager felt like it wasn’t too young for him. An emotionally-robust 9-year-old would probably be fine with the show but Eva at 9 would probably have been a sobbing mess by the end. It does evoke some big feelings.

Akil Young, Immanuel Yeboah, Christine During and Christina Ngoyi Pig Heart Boy, credit to Ali Wright

For those not familiar with the book, the basis is that 13-year-old Cameron has a heart condition and is offered a revolutionary new procedure to replace his failing heart with one from a specially-bred pig. You can see where the ethnical dilemmas come in and they were amplified by the lurking presence of the animal rights’ group “LEPAR” throughout the show. Cameron and his parents wrestle with both the morality of breeding animals as replacement human kits and the practicalities of whether this would even work. I won’t spoiler the end but these questions are never entirely resolved, which is probably for the best as wrapping everything up neatly would feel very artificial.

I don’t know whether the play was intended to be set in the 90s as that’s when the book was written. The clothes worn by Cameron’s mum would certainly suggest it was, along with the glimpses of 90s video games on the TV screens and a 90s song while he’s under sedation (I think it might be “Sweet Love” by Fierce but I might have remembered this wrong). Given the media circus around Dolly the Sheep in the 90s, it would have been a very topical book at the time so it makes sense to pull the era through to the stage production.

So already a setting that’s close to my heart and having two secondary school age children made the whole set up very familiar. The uniforms even looked a bit like Eva’s although they also had a bit of a Gryffindor feel.

Immanuel Yeboah, Pig Heart Boy, credit to Ali Wright

The cast was small and frantically multi-roleing, with lighting-fast costume changes. The only person to stay in the same role throughout was Immanuel Yeboah as Cameron and that’s because he was on stage almost constantly. He even did one of his costume changes in front of the audience. He carries the whole show and has to go through a full emotional range every performance, which is impressive for a relatively young actor (I’m aware that he’s not actually 13 but he’s certainly closer to Roo’s age than mine.) Immanuel effectively combines the self-centredness and arrogance of a teenage boy with the vulnerability of someone who’s been chronically ill for as long as he can remember. Teenagers tend to think they’re indestructible but he gave Cameron that edge of uncertainty. A really assured performance in the central role, which is ably backed up by the rest of the cast.

It’s very much an ensemble piece, with the entire cast appearing in the first scene as Cameron’s fellow students and their teacher. The scene is full of youthful energy and Reuben assures me that it’s true to life – when the teacher leaves the room, no work is getting done. The lighting is especially effective in this scene as it shifts colour according to the mood.

Olivia Williams Freeman, Akil Young, Christine During, Christina Ngoyi, Tré Medley, Pig Heart Boy, credit to Ali Wright

Before the show, the light tubes on the set were all red, pulsating out from a central heart. Reuben did point out that you’d die if you only ever had blood moving away from the heart and not back towards it but I should say, he is unusually pedantic. Throughout the show, the red returned whenever the action was focussed on the medical aspects of the plot but changed to blue for the swimming pool scenes as well as various other colours. It’s a simple trick but done really well.

Immanuel Yeboah, Pig Heart Boy, credit to Ali Wright

The action calms downs when the play shifts to Cameron’s family. Which is fine because those teenagers were pretty loud and those energy levels would be hard to sustain throughout. Christine During and Akil Young age up rapidly to play Cameron’s parents and it’s an impressive shift to go from rowdy teens to careworn middle aged parents so quickly. There’s a very touching scene as they say goodbye to Cameron before his surgery and I think I heard someone near me sob a little as Cameron is hugging his Dad. That definitely would have been Eva if she’d been there.

Immanuel Yeboah, Akil Young, Pig Heart Boy, credit to Ali Wright

The doctor who performs the procedure was played by Tré Medley, who oozed confidence as he swaggered about the stage. This was in contrast to his nervy schoolboy role of Andrew, who was shaking on the diving board. Reuben later described the doctor character as “sketchy” and he certainly had that charismatic but sus vibe going on. The kind of character to sell you a monorail as well as a pig’s heart.

Tré Medley, Akil Young, Immanuel Yeboa and Christine During, Pig Heart Boy, credit to Ali Wright

Christina Ngoyi played a multitude of roles from Cameron’s best friend Marilyn to a German doctor to a TV presenter to a journalist a few seconds later. I told you these cast members were good at multi-roleing. She had a lot of energy in every role and provided the heart of another ethical dilemma…what if you were trusted with a secret but you were too worried about your friend to keep it? What if sharing the secret could save your family from eviction? There are layers of complexity to Marilyn and Christina expressed all of these layers well.

Immanuel Yeboah and Christina Ngoyi, Pig Heart Boy, credit to Ali Wright

The main cast was rounded off by Chia Phoenix who, as the much-quoted Nan, was central to one of the most poignant scenes in the show. There was near-silence in the auditorium as she walked off the stage and that’s pretty hard to achieve when the audience is packed with children. Chia also plays a number of other roles, including a surreal turn as the personification of the pig that is providing Cameron’s new heart. The cast list has Olivia Williams Freeman and Rhys Lanahan as understudies but I believe we saw both on stage today as I definitely counted eight people at the curtain call. This is a complex set of characters that demands a lot from each of its actors so I’m not surprised that every available actor is involved onstage.

Immanuel Yeboah, Pig Heart Boy, credit to Ali Wright

The play tackles the issues of fractured families, as well as fractured hearts with Cameron’s parents arguing constantly about him and Marilyn’s parents arguing about money. The themes of risk and consequence also loom large, with Cameron and his family making difficult decisions, especially towards the end, about whether it’s worth the pain of going through treatment in order to secure a chance at life. The scene I mentioned earlier with Nan really drives home the idea that you have to take every chance you have at life and enjoy it as much as you can. That’s a powerful message for tween audiences who might be starting to struggle with the prospect of growing up and need some reassurance that life is, pretty much, worth the effort of living it.

I realise I’ve been making this play sound quite heavy by majoring on the poignancy and the ethical questions but there is a lot of fun moments. From the schoolkids dancing about their classroom to the comedy use of the health scanner (“Dutty”), there are plenty of lighter moments and there is a good balance between the fun and the drama. I just mentioned the darker moments because this is what sets this production apart from other kids’ theatre shows – it very much feels like it has the depth to pull in the slightly older audience. As a nearly 16-year-old, Roo enjoyed it and had his own thoughts about the medical ethics of it all. We were talking about the whole length of the walk from Tower Bridge to London Bridge. Which is very pretty at night, in case you didn’t know:

We also passed Hays Galleria, which is equally pretty:

Our destination was the Nando’s at Clink Street for dinner, which has become something of a habit on outings that are just me and Reuben. Eva is a Nando’s refuser and as for Nathan…well, sucks to be him. Along the way, we passed through the tunnel underneath London Bridge where Cynthia’s used to be in the early 2000s.

There was a tinny little song playing that I didn’t recognise at first but then I clocked that it was “London Bridge is Falling Down”. Not exactly what you want to hear when the full weight of London Bridge and all its buses is just above your head. Fortunately we made it to Nando’s unscathed.

On the way back, we spotted the Shakespeare mural which has now been partially covered by a portaloo:

And did I mention the sinister giant rooster earlier? No, I might leave you with this terrifying image then:

I mean, that rooster is genuinely mansize.

Anyway, enough of the found art….let me tell you once more to go and see “Pig Heart Boy” while you can. It’s challenging in parts but heartfelt (no pun intended) and will stay with you well after the final bows. It was around 105 minutes without an interval but it zips by and leaves you wanting more of Cameron’s story. Definitely worth crossing the river for.

“Pig Heart Boy” is at the Unicorn Theatre until 22/02/25. For tickets and more info, click here.

Disclaimer: I received tickets in exchange for a review. All opinions remain honest and my own.

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“Ballet Shoes” at the National Theatre – 31/01/25

Now, I need to say that I am very precious when it comes to “Ballet Shoes” and early trailers and posters for this show made me reluctant to see it. Any kind of re-imagining, any kind of modernising…..these things were not going to land well with me. It’s a book I’ve read so many times, both as a child and as a parent, that I can spot the smallest deviation from the plot and some will definitely bother me more than others. But in many ways, this was a great piece of standalone theatre and I imagine someone who isn’t like me and isn’t overly familiar with the book would enjoy it more than yours pedantically. Who is now worrying about whether I’ve spelt “pedantically” right or whether it’s even a word. Should that be “spelled”? I’m clearly not cut out for pedant life.

With that in mind, I’m going to just list out all of my gripes upfront and then I can write the review of the show in a way that’s more balanced. So here we go:

  • Pauline’s character seemed all wrong. Book Pauline is restrained and polite until she suffers a case of over-inflated ego during “Alice”. This Pauline seemed just…..stroppy. Some of the bits given to her (like not wanting to dance in Theo Dane’s room) were far more Petrova than Pauline
  • Winifred was far too pretty and confident. Her defining characteristic in the book is being plain and mousy although she is also talented. This Winifred seemed like cookie-cutter Mean Girl/Alpha Female
  • Dr Jakes was far too grumpy. In the book, she and Dr Smith (MIA) are kindly and supportive of the girls’ careers. I guess they were trying to add a character arc by having tension between her and Theo but it was unnecessary in my opinion. A “women lifting younger women up” arc would have been much more satisfying than “grumpy lesbian slowly warms to family life”. Also, would 1930s kids have known the word “lesbian”?
  • Sylvia was too young and the drama around whether the babies were actually hers was also unnecessary. I know she’s youngish in the book but she was at least 16 before Pauline came home, not 12. Chapter Two of the book, which is six years after Gum’s last departure, mentions her turning grey. She also was not a Rosie the Riveter type who worked in the factory and cleaned hospitals. She was a typically modest and gently anxious 1930s woman.
  • The girls’ ages make no sense – Pauline is 14 at the start of the show and 15 at the end, so all the events of the book are condensed into a year. But how is Posy working when she would still be too young at the end? The book makes it very clear that children had to be 12 before they could have a licence. Was it just convenient to have her and Winifred as fairies in MSND instead of two nameless girls? This is only half a nitpick as Eva pointed out that the girls’ ages are inconsistent in the book as well. In Chapter One, it says that Petrova arrived a year after Pauline and both were small babies but then a few pages later it describes Pauline as almost four and Petrova as just 16 months. Another few pages on and Pauline is six and Petrova 4 and a half. So she caught up a bit somehow. Mind you, this is Noel Streatfeild who managed to write two Christmasses into “Gemma and Sisters” with nothing but a January in between them.
  • Large bits of the plot around how they manage to make the money stretch are taken out, which I wouldn’t mind if it was a time issue. But they found time to add in extra storylines around Madame’s backstory and Sylvia’s love of art. The triumphs in the book are all the more triumphant because you know how they had to pawn their precious necklaces to buy material for that audition frock.
  • Mrs Simpson erasure. Mr Simpson/Saran should not be a love interest for Sylvia as that’s not his part in the plot. His part is to be a mentor for Petrova as no one else takes an interest in her. Making it about Sylvia makes his interest in Petrova a bit creepy, as if he’s only doing it to get close to her guardian.
  • Why was Madame played by a man? (Justin Salinger, who also played Gum) Was that meant to make her into a comedy character? If so, why? Also, I was not happy with the ending. No complaints with Manoff being turned into a woman though not sure why she was French instead of Czechslovakian

With all these gripes, you might wonder why I booked and why I said initially that it was actually a great show. Well, the booking was at Eva’s request and any sign that she wants to do something other than watch YouTube is to be pounced on. She’s not a great fan of leaving the house. And why it was actually a good show? Well, I will unpack that shortly. Let’s rewind though and here I am at Waterloo with a bunch of flowers and a bag of mini tambourines, eating udon and hoping to meet a man under the iconic clock:

When I booked the tickets for the show, I’d completely forgotten that I would be at a conference in Marylebone all day so I didn’t have time to go home and get Eva before 7pm. She’s not quite ready to traverse Central London on her own as she can do buses on trusted routes but three different trains might be a demand too far after a long week at school. So poor Nathan had to bring her all the way to Waterloo to meet me while I had enough time betwixt conference and theatre to sit and enjoy a bowl of udon at Marugame. Waterloo at rush hour is a bit hectic but the upper level is relatively calm and Marugame is a relaxed, canteen-style dining experience. I hadn’t eaten much in the way of conference lunch because eating standing up and talking to colleagues is a tricky ask for someone as clumsy as I am. So a bowl of noodles and sticky yaki meatballs went down well. I felt a little guilty that I was chilling instead of madly dashing across London to get Eva but I made up for it by buying her halloumi fries and fries-fries in Burger King so I had dinner ready for her when they arrived.

I paid Nathan for his time with the bag of flowers and mini tambourines and Eva enjoyed her Burger King feast to the sound of buskers playing “California Dreaming”. From there, it was just a short walk to the National Theatre and along the way we passed the mural of Paddington Bear which we’d seen being painted a few months back:

I don’t have a photo of it being painted but Eva and I both remembered it so it must have happened.

For the National Theatre, just head past the Southbank food market at the back of the Royal Festival Hall and follow this sign:

The show is in the Olivier Theatre, which is a couple of flights up so if you have a child who doesn’t like stairs, you might wanna wait for a lift. We had unusual seats in that they were sold as “Restricted View” but seemed to be very close to the stage (Row C). I had done a little research on the super helpful seatplan website and seen pictures of the view, which looked absolutely fine but a few reviews said the seats were narrower than usual, which I’d agree with. We went down one of the side aisles initially – I think that’s what our ticket said to do – but after some confusion and Eva going back up to go to the loo and then me going to look for her – we realised that the middle aisle was much easier for access to the seats. It required squeezing through a smallish gap and climbing over to an extent but the view from these seats was fantastic and took you right to the heart of the action.

The set was also fantastic – 999 Cromwell Road was brought to life with a two-level set, packed with fossils and pictures of dinosaurs. Plus an old piano to the side, which provided the opening to the show as a lady pianist made her way unsteadily across the stage to play it.

I really liked the fleshing out of Gum’s adventures and the way the shipwreck and mountain accident are brought to life are really quite spectacular. Gum’s character is one of the few that I considered to be spot on…he’s gallant but ridiculously selfish and possibly has ADHD (it’s line about how “time meant nothing” to him that chimed with me). As he chucks baby after baby at poor Nana (Jenny Galloway), he does so with the arrogance that Gum is meant to have….that his work is more important than any practical concerns Nana might have. Nana is another character that both looks and acts exactly as the book version does, which is pleasing. Posy (Daisy Sequerra) and Petrova (Yanexi Enriquez) are also pretty much as I would expect them to be, with Posy self-obsessed and excitable and Petrova living only for her engines. I’m not sure why Posy’s talent as a impersonator wasn’t included though as that’s an important part of her character in the book and stops her being too unbearable.

I should say that there’s nothing wrong with the acting – Pearl Mackie’s Sylvia is the right characterisation for the lines she was given but this liberated woman is not the Sylvia I know. Similarly Grace Saif gives Pauline all the expressions that match the script – the rolling eyes and pouting – but it’s just not book-Pauline. The actors do a great job, especially those that need to dance as well as act, but it’s more the creative decisions that feel a bit anachronistic…like they’re trying to impose modern teenage traits on a Pauline from almost 100 years ago. It’s the same as the gender-blind casting that sees men with moustaches in tutus taking ballet with their very masculine Madam. It’s a very modern sensibility that, to my mind, jars with the 1930s setting. The costuming is beautiful and very much of the right era so it’s not like the whole story has been transplanted to 2025…just some of the attitudes and personalities.

Some of the changes are less jarring. Theo Dane’s character is quite different but works just fine for her role in the plot, which is to introduce the children to the Academy. And along the way we have one of the most joyous scenes in the whole show, where the children dance the charleston to a gramophone in Theo’s room. I didn’t even mind her backstory being merged with the characters from the walls of the Academy – Baby Cora etc – as I feel like that was a nod to the book fanatics, of which I think I’m probably one. Nadine Higgin has some serious Jazz Age moves and they were used to great effect in this scene.

In fact, the dancing was probably one of the strongest aspects of the show because that’s what justifies it being a play rather than just an audiobook. Xolisweh Ana Richards and Georges Hann as backstory characters provided a lovely pas de deux as a kind of interlude to the main plot. And that bit also had a striking revolution scene that called to mind Les Mis (I know it’s a different revolution but the visuals are similar). Although I mentioned earlier that this backstory wasn’t really in the book I didn’t mind too much because it added both beauty and drama. And, inexplicably, chickens.

There are also some spectacular moments using aerial acrobatics. I don’t think that’s a spoiler because it’s in the trailer for the show but it was a really thrilling time to be seated near the front when Petrova whooshed over our heads. I wish there hadn’t been such a bright light right behind her as it made it hard to look up but that might be the “Restricted View” part of our otherwise excellent seats.

(Excellent in terms of view, not in terms of comfort. But I cannot complain!)

In fact, the whole “Midsummer Night’s Dream” segment was pretty visually spectacular. In the book, Nana complains about the overly modern costume design, so this was a natural progression of giving Nana stuff to complain about. It was indeed very modern – all silver tubes and clown hats – but it was meant to be cutting edge, so I was happy with that. By contrast, the “Alice” costumes were very classic, with Pauline and Winifred in powder blue and white, flanked by human playing cards. It made me very nostalgic for my first ever dance show in 1987, which had very similar costumes.

The everyday costumes of the characters were mainly spot on – the sisters had simple cotton frocks while Madame had rich colours and furs. I liked the way that that the girls seemed to be wearing Gum’s old nightshirts and Gum himself was what Eva likes to describe as “very fashion”. She also said that Dr Jakes (Helena Lymbery) was, and I quote the tween here, “very yes”.

The pacing was good throughout the show – there’s a lot of plot to get through and 2 hours 40 mins seems like a long time but it went by fast. There’s an interval after the very first “we vow” scene and Eva and I took the opportunity to stretch our legs and have some mango sorbet. There’s a lovely view from the foyer outside the stalls as well:

Post theatre, Eva was still hungry and my udon from earlier was not quite carrying me through so luckily GBK on Waterloo Road was still open to supply her with a late night vegan burger:

So I realise this has been an unconventional review because I usually try to be very positive and if I have any nitpicks, I would normally weave them in among the positivity. But overall, it was an enjoyable experience. It’s just that, as a fan of the books, there were a few elements that didn’t sit right with me. I know other commenters have said not to expect a faithful rendition but I can’t help having a fixed idea in my head of how these characters should be….after all, they’ve been with me all my life. So thank you for indulging all my grouching and be assured – if you’re not an obsessive reader of the books, then you will probably enjoy it all the more.

Don’t take my word for it – here’s the link for tickets and more info if you’re intrigued. Our seats were only £25 each and we were so close to the stage, so it was definitely worth a punt. Just take it at face value and try not to pick too many holes and you’ll have a great time.

What better way to end this post with a picture of lockdown-era Eva dressed as Posy Fossil? Pity she didn’t take the fright wig with her to the theatre….

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Mars in the Painted Hall – 18/01/25

Early in December, I realised that I had done a lot of preparation for Christmas when it came to getting groups of people singing carols but I was missing a vital bit of prep. I hadn’t thought of anything to get Nathan. Don’t feel too sorry for him because he did pretty well in the end but at the time, I was coming up short. So when I spotted a poster for Mars in the tube at Walthamstow, I impulse booked it without even really knowing what it was. That’s the level of planning that went into this day out but it went surprisingly well, considering. I knew it was at the Old Royal Naval College in Greenwich but I didn’t think far past that.

I had managed to figure lunch out and had booked a table at Pizza Express but that put a certain amount of pressure on us to actually get to Greenwich on time. We fell at the first hurdle and left Highams Park 14 minutes later than planned. You don’t need all the details but essentially, leaving the house with Eva involves a lot of accessories and she never knows where any of them are. Happily, we assembled everything but not quite on time. So we had to hope for a quick route through Bank to find the DLR.

Hopes are easily dashed, that’s all I’ll say. About halfway through the station, I remembered that there was a flashy new entrance near Cannon Street that was the one we probably should have used, rather than the one outside the Royal Exchange that’s our default. It’s the first one you come to if you’re walking from Liverpool Street and it works fine for the Waterloo and City Line or the Central Line but for the DLR, I’m guessing the new entrance is better. The way we did a 360 of the ticket hall before even going through the gates made me wonder if the station planners were just trolling us but whatever their intentions, the route was not smooth. There were at least two escalators, possibly three, and a travelator as well as lot of walking before we found the DLR platform:

I also briefly considered checking my old post where I’d found a secret DLR entrance in 2016 but assumed it wouldn’t work any more because of the rebuild. And also decided that these were thoughts I needed to have before descending several escalators, not midway.

Anyway, we found the wizard train and went up the rollercoaster at speed, enjoying the slightly misty rooftop view of East London as we went. All was smooth sailing until Cutty Sark station – we were late for our booking but could still make it within the 15 minutes’ grace if we were lucky. An announcement on the train said that there was no escalator service at Cutty Sark station and suddenly I remembered my last visit in 2014 where a 5-year-old Roo and I climbed hundreds of steps to get out. I had assumed that day was just a blip and that there’s usually a better system in place but I hadn’t even considered it until I heard the announcement. Turns out that things have not improved in 11 years – although there are escalators in theory, the Evening Standard reports that they’ve been out of service on and off for years now.

I know. A little research could have solved both ends of this DLR problem but I warned you off the bat, didn’t I? This was not one of my masterpieces of planning.

Anyway, Eva and I decided to queue for the lift and got lucky because, although there were lots of buggies waiting, there was only room for one buggy at a time. But there was room for a buggy plus the two of us so we (politely) managed to skip ahead a bit. And if you’re wondering why Eva couldn’t take the stairs with Nathan and Roo…well, her legs are not legging. That’s her way of putting it anyway.

So we made it to Pizza Express exactly 15 minutes after our booking and thankfully, our table had not been given away. The tables are packed together quite tightly so it was a bit of a squeeze but we were grateful to have any prospect of lunch at all after cutty sarking it so fine.

Lunch was a little while coming because it was so busy in there. I think it arrived 30 minutes after we ordered, which might be payback for us being late. I had a voucher to get a Classic pizza for £1 so ordered possibly the worst option on the menu – the Vegan Giardiniera – because it was worth a try if IO was only paying a pound for it. Reuben was having the American, which is also a Classic, so that got us the deal and allowed Nathan to order a fancy Romana pizza and Eva to have the sides of her choice (garlic bread, dough balls, halloumi bites).

The vegan pizza was actually not too bad and a definite improvement on any other vegan pizza I’ve had. I’m not a vegan by any stretch but I’m trying to stay as dairyfree as possible during the winter months to fend away colds and most places don’t do “dairyfree-but-meaty” options. So super healthy vegan it is and it was not all bad. The side of hot honey dough balls definitely helped to give lunch a bit more variety too.

We finished up just in time to get to our Painted Hall booking at 2 and it was only a few minutes’ walk away. On the way, we got a glimpse of the Cutty Sark itself but didn’t get a chance to look at it properly.

One thing I hadn’t even remembered in my lack-of-planning-brain was that the Royal Naval College is a pretty prolific film set and that one of Eva’s current obsessions – “Les Misérables” – was filmed there. So that was a bit of a bonus as I realised just as we were walking through the gates. It all looked weirdly familiar and then I clicked. It’s also home to scenes from “Bridgerton”, “Pirates of the Caribbean” and a couple of MCU films…so something for all the family. I’ll go out of sequence slightly here to show you Eva’s “Les Mis” photo shoot, which actually happened after Mars:

You’ll notice that she appears to be dressed as an extra from the film, which is odd considering that neither of us clocked the connection until we got there. It is just how Eva dresses though. All the red elements are in honour of going to visit Mars. And the flat cap was something she begged me to buy her in the gift shop. All of which adds up to an on-theme outfit:

All that context means that – 1100 words later – I’ve finally got to the point of this post, which is the visit to the Painted Hall. First thing you need to know is that you need to redeem your paper/mobile tickets in the gift shop, where they give you wristbands before proceeding. I totally missed this sign the first time round:

The second thing to know is that there are no loos in the Painted Hall itself, so probably best to use the ones in the undercroft before you go up. Just head down this corridor:

The closest set of Ladies’ is out of order but there are more at the end of the corridor.

The next thing to know is that there are tours of the Painted Hall at 11.30am, 12.30pm, 1.30pm, 2.30pm and 3.30pm every day, whether or not there’s a special exhibition on. Our entry ticket was for 2pm so we had a bit of time to mooch around and take in the atmosphere before starting the tour. Even without Mars, the Painted Hall is stunning but it was the Red Planet that brought us there so let’s start with that.

It is stunning – 7 metres across and full of detail, with its own haunting soundtrack. It can be hard to know how to interact with such a big piece of artwork but there were people standing or lying underneath it, taking photos “holding” it or standing quietly watching it rotate. Reuben wanted a “holding it” photo. Obviously, no one is actually touching the artwork itself. Let’s be clear about that:

And Nathan was content to gaze up at it:

He also noticed a little smiley face in one of the craters:

Thanks to the information boards, we managed to find Mars the god, who was positioned to be perfectly gazing upon his namesake planet:

There are places to sit along the edge of the Hall, so it was a good place to just sit and enjoy the ambience, as well as looking at all the paintings. We had some time chilling out there before joining the tour, which was led by an exuberant French guy called Vincent. I mention that he’s French because he was talking us through the 18th century context, which wasn’t always flattering to Britain’s closest neighbours. Still, he handled the subject matter deftly, not taking any of it personally as far as I could tell. He was very entertaining and pointed out all the famous – and not so famous – figures who’d been immortalised in this glorious ceiling:

Apparently it was meant to symbolize a time of peace and prosperity in Europe, which distinctly failed to materialize. I found it impossible to count how many wars Britain and the rest of Europe were involved in, even in the 19 years it took to paint the hall…but there were a few. And they got through a few monarchs before completion as well.

The very mention of George I (who appears on one of the walls) made Eva think of George III, which in turn made her want to watch “Hamilton” on Disney+. So you can guess what we did as soon as we got back. But I feel like this has still somehow been educational…in a way.

I would definitely recommend taking the tour if you ever visit the Painted Hall as it really helps you to know what you’re looking at. There’s an almost overwhelming amount to see so a guide comes in very handy. And it means that if one of your kids starts singing “Bohemian Rhapsody” (in the context of being such a “poor boy” that she couldn’t donate to the upkeep of the hall) then they can point to the actual Galileo midway through. Bonus.

We were in there for about 90 minutes in total and could have stayed longer but were feeling the need for caffeine before the homeward journey. That proved challenging as none of the coffee outlets in Greenwich market seemed to have any space to sit down. Dark Sugar looked like it had some good hot chocolate but it was all takeaway and Crosstown was similar. We ended up perching on a concrete step by the benches – which were all full – to drink our Crosstown coffee and eat churros. I also bought some bottles of water from a pancake stand, as nowhere else seemed to be selling them. The churros were good but it wasn’t quite the relaxing post-exhibition refuelling stop I’d imagined. We probably should have gone to the café in the Royal Naval College itself.

To avoid the steps at Cutty Sark, we opted to take the River Boat home. You can either buy tickets on the Uber app or just tap in and out like you would on the tube. For kids who are too young to have Zip cards, I imagine you would need to buy a ticket but we all just tapped. And yes, we did see the Cutty Sark properly on the way:

The boat was super quick to get back to London Bridge and, although it took us a while to find seats, we eventually managed to sit together. There was the option to buy coffee on board as well, which we probably should have done.

In case you can’t tell from the earlier photos, it was a misty old day. So misty that half of Canary Wharf just disappeared:

So sadly, we were deprived of a sunset cruise as we sped up the river. It just kinda went from misty to dark. But we did get a nice view of Tower Bridge as we disembarked.

And the City thankfully hadn’t disappeared into the mist like Canary Wharf had:

From London Bridge, we hopped a bus to Liverpool Street and home from there. Early transport issues aside, it was a pretty successful day. No one vomited and no one injured themselves. All good. I think Mars is only there for another couple of days but Helios is coming next – have a look at the Old Royal Naval College website for more details. Or just an enjoy the history of the Painted Hall and the pop culture-famous exteriors. You too can be a French revolutionary schoolboy….

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“The Tempest” at Theatre Royal – 04/01/25

Happy New Year everyone! I know it’s the new year because I looked round and Nathan had stealthily removed the Christmas tree just in time for the twelfth night. And talking of the twelfth night, guess which Shakespeare play we saw yesterday? Yes, that’s right – “The Tempest”

This is the fourth tempestuous production that I’ve seen in the last couple of years and I’ve re-read my previous reviews in an attempt to not repeat myself. It may not be successful. If you want to do the same, here are the first two productions – The Globe in April 2023 and Unicorn Theatre in September 2023 .The missing third one was by Eva’s Shakespeare class and weirdly enough, I didn’t review that one publicly. She did make a very convincing Caliban tho, which I’m not sure is a good thing.

Nathan had taken the lead on booking this one, which is unusual for family outings. I assumed it was so that he could reprise his Weaver line joke – as these posters for the play sprang up at HP Station at the same time as the Overground rebrand:

And worry not, he did indeed reprise the joke but there was also an element of fanboying over Ms Sigourney. When I mentioned it to another male of a similar vintage, he nodded sagely and said “say no more”. I would say this makes us even for me booking David Tennant but I also have Ewan McGregor in the bag (not literally) for April so we are not quite even yet.

As with the Unicorn Theatre trip, we started with brunch at My Favourite Cafe on Essex Road. We had some time to kill, which meant trips to Cass Art and Waterstones at the Islington end and Forbidden Planet at the Covent Garden end. We also popped into FP’s new neighbour, Animetal, which had a nice Totoro window display.

I also spotted this seemingly pointless sign in the middle of an empty bit of pavement:

And the kind of little playground that would have delighted the kids ten years ago:

The Theatre Royal is certainly an impressive looking building. I think in our pre-kids lives we saw “The Producers” and “League of Gentlemen” there. Very shortly post-Reuben we also saw the 2009 revival of “Oliver!” there and wondered if it would still be running by the time he was old enough to play a workhouse boy. It was not and now it’s back again, he is sadly far too giant and deep-voiced.

The theatre has the most amazing, “Gone With the Wind”-type staircases:

It’s also got an engraving of Rodgers and Hammerstein, which every “Sound of Music” fan should stop and admire.

There were bars and toilets in every level, which is not to be taken for granted, and the toilets were much more spacious than some West End theatres. One thing though – it was incredibly hot inside the auditorium. Given that the weather outside was due-to-snow, I assume that they whacked the heating up to full to compensate but we were sweating and weirdly sleepy because of the warmth and the eerie music that was both loud and hypnotic.

Don’t worry tho, I didn’t actually fall asleep so I can tell you what happened in the play. It was tempting tho, especially as people in the play seem to be lying down and sleeping all the time.

So, elephant in the auditorium time – there have been some negative reviews of this production from the press previews. I went in prepared. It was considerably longer than the other productions I’ve seen recently – it was 2 hours 10, including an interval whereas the Globe one was 90 minutes and the Unicorn a mere 75. Both of those were, however, what YouTube calls “Made for Kids” whereas this was a show that full grown adults might like, especially ones who were had posters of Sigourney on their walls when they were geeky teens. I described both of those other shows using words like “physical”, “bright”, “bold” and “feisty”. This was the opposite in many words. But again, let’s remember that the other two were kids’ shows and this was not. It picked a more muted palette and a slower pace because Shakespeare doesn’t have to be fast-paced and zany.

Also, it seemed to be quite clearly aimed at fans of the “Alien” franchise, which is a smart commercial move. The island looked like the surface of the moon and the costumes had the kind of utilitarian feel that’s not a million miles away from the uniforms in those films. Ariel might sing of golden sands, but there wasn’t a lot of gold to be found on this stage.

Except for Ariel themself, who was a dazzlingly welcome touch of drama in a show that sometimes felt a bit flat. Descending from on high or singing in an otherworldy voice, Mason Alexander Park stole the show every time they appeared. Not that anyone else did anything wrong – don’t believe those early reviews! – but it was just change of pace. The eerie sound that was playing as we took our seats continued for much of the show, which did give it all a similar kind of feeling. There were some set changes, produced through lighting and billowing cloth, but largely it was the same landscape with Prospero on stage throughout. So occasional bursts of sprite-song really helped to shift the tone and keep us awake (it really was quite, quite warm in there).

In my amateurish opinion there was nothing wrong with the central performance of Prospero – none of the awkward silences and forgotten lines that the reviews warned of. She’s clearly settled into the role as she’s gone along. Gender-swapping the language made for some slightly clunky sounding sentences – especially when it came to Miranda’s speech where she says “I do not know one of my sex, no woman’s face remember – save, from my glass, mine own. Nor have I seen more that I may call men than you, good friend and my dear father.” Switching the father’s role into the mother’s at that point felt a little awkward and the overtones of sexism against Propsero in her banishment felt like it was shoehorning something into the text that detracted from the pure villany of those that ousted her. In contrast, gender-swapping the role of Gonzalo (Selina Cadell) makes perfect sense as of course it’s a woman who thinks about whether Prospero might need some books to read during her banishment. And Selina Cadell handles the text absolutely fluently, which makes the scenes between her and Alonso (Jude Akuwudike) skip by with a deftness that is lacking in other parts. Both actors have a good feel for the dynamics of the text, which perhaps gets missed in some of the longer Prospero speeches. Sigourney Weaver acts perfectly well but her Prospero doesn’t seem to have extremes of emotion, which I assume is a creative choice. Maybe I just find it harder to bond with Shakespeare when it’s in an American accent. She also had a kind of lisp, which again I assume was done on purpose, but was slightly strange. Not that the rest of the family noticed until I pointed it out in the interval so it can’t have been too obvious.

The cast was fairly lean – I think there were eleven of them in total which isn’t huge but almost twice the number that we saw at the Unicorn Theatre. That meant that some of the extra Lords didn’t appear, which is a common edit in this play, and the whole section with Juno, Ceres and Iris was cut. But there was one part per player, which made it all a lot easier to follow than when you’re watching a cast of six do it. The characters were also silently introduced during the opening scene, which would be helpful for anyone seeing this for the first time.

The comedy elements of “The Tempest” are always a highlight and this was no exception. I was impressed with Matthew Horne when we saw him in “Noises Off” and here he makes a very expressive Trinculo, teamed with Jason Barnett’s Stephano and Forbes Masson’s Caliban. Whenever the three of them are on stage, the show takes on a lighter and livelier feel – which is the nature of the comic relief, I suppose but it is much needed. Caliban’s outfit, as other reviewers have pointed out, verges on the gimpy and it takes a certain body confidence to pull off such a tight pair of pants. But his performance is great, as is Jason Barnett’s. The physical comedy is adept and their scenes are pacey and funny.

Mara Huf as Miranda and James Phoon as Ferdinand bounce around the landscape in their scenes, bringing a youthful vigour to the show. I didn’t recognise James Phoon as being from “Bridgerton” but it’s so obvious when I look at it now. We also spotted him at the stage door, giving a cheery wave to the assembled fans and thanking us for coming. The cast is rounded out with Oliver Ryan and Tim Steed as the scheming pair of Sebastian and Antonio and they exude evilness well as they consider adding a bit of regicide to their CV of treachery. So it’s a very solid cast, which I would cite if anyone accuses this production of relying on stunt casting alone.

But, and this is a big “but”, the pacing for some parts is way off. Maybe it’s just my famous lack of tolerance for anything slow moving but the denouement scene when all the players finally assemble was almost painfully slow. The monologues are drawn out and the actors walk in a slow circle around Prospero as if they too are waiting for the scene to end. It’s meant to be the emotional high point of the whole play as families are reunited and reconciled but it felt a bit flat. Having seen the plot done in around half the time might have just made me expect it to all be a bit faster and there is definitely value in lingering over some of the more poetic language…but there is a balance to be had.

I enjoyed it though and Nathan and the kids enjoyed it too. They’re better at slow moving things than I am.

On the way out, we lingered at the stage door for a while, which is where we spotted James Phoon, but sadly Sigourney was not planning to come out and say hello. It might be because it was a matinee and she had an evening performance to do but it was a bit of a disappointment, having had such a good stage door experience with DT. Ah well, let’s see how Tom Hiddleston and Ewan McGregor compare. Yes, we are fully bought into this stunt casting thing.

As we walked back towards Leicester Square, we also got a glimpse of the beautiful Royal Opera House from the back. Isn’t she pretty?

So, it’s very much a “make your own mind up” on this show. I can see why some were disappointed but I also think it’s probably improved since the previews. Apparently January tickets are going at a bargain rate so have a look at prices and more information here.

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Christmas at Kew – 13/12/24

Happy belated Christmas dear readers! Apologies for the lateness of this post but there have been some complications this Crimbo time. But we seem to have landed the other side so here’s a much delayed review of when we went to Kew for the Christmas light trail.

So I thought I was being real smart this year by booking a Premier Inn for the night because, let’s face it, it is a schlep from HP to the opposite corner of London. Whichever way we go, it is always an hour and a half and no-one wants that journey after a late night light trail. Just for funsies, I checked the time when we were driving to Winchester for Christmas and sure enough, it was exactly 90 minutes from our house to passing by the Victoria Gate. Now, who’s up for trying to make on bike or foot in the same time?

Anyway, all of this is why I booked a hotel but I didn’t really budget time for checking in on the way to Kew after work. I thought the hotel was at the foot of Kew Bridge, where the Costa is, but I was completely wrong and it was a bus ride away down Brentford High Street. Which all added time to a tight turnaround between finishing work and getting in through the Elizabeth Gate at 19:20. We’d met Nathan at Waterloo, jumped on the 18:07 train to Kew Bridge and were doing well but it all just took a little longer than anticipated. The hotel was indeed very close to Kew Gardens but there was a small watery barrier in the way and the family were distinctly un-up for trying to swim it. So after we checked in, we took the bus back to Kew Bridge and got stuck in some rather gnarly traffic. You don’t need a step-by-step on this but all you need to know is that we made it through the gate at 19:20 exactly. I don’t know how strict they are on last entry to the trail but I wasn’t about to try it out.

So onto the Christmas trail itself! It does feel like you start in slightly the wrong place when you go in any gate that’s not the Victoria Gate. I think the light show over the lake is meant to be the grand finale but from the Elizabeth Gate, it’s one of the first things you come across. And yes, we had to watch it end to end. It’s very pretty, especially the Christmas tree made out of water:

After that, and all the running to get there, it was time for some sustenance. So we stopped near the Victoria Gate for churros and a hot dog for Reuben. The dinner situation was very much “eat whenever you see something you want to eat”, which is why we were picking things up as we went.

Once we had food, we needed to actually make some progress on the trail and we got quite a lot done before the next stop. Like Snowy Lane:

Ombre:

And Sea of Light, which had a Danny Elfman soundtrack and trees that looked like cinnamon swirls:

Next up was the Fairground, which the kids enjoyed while Nathan and I ate teriyaki chicken from one of the stalls in the Food Village. Reuben more or less met the height restriction for the rides:

So they went on the carousel and the swing boats together, the latter of which was slightly terrifying. Apparently the only way to stop them swinging is by ramming them with giant wooden slats. They did make it off the boats in one piece though.

It’s always worth keeping an eye on the time when you get to this point of the trail as there’s still a way to go before the end and no one wants to get locked in the gardens. We bought Eva some chips to go as we ducked through the bauble gate to the next part.

We sped up a bit past the Sparkle Trees and the Baton Show, which were pretty but not anything we need to linger over:

But we spent a long time on the bridge watching the “Fish are Jumping” installation, where lights appeared and disappeared in arcs over the water. There was more Danny Elfman music (possibly “Edward Scissorhands”?) and it was all very atmospheric. The only problem was that it was so dark that I couldn’t get a decent photo:

On the other side of the lake, there were more delights like the Electric Ribbon and the Fire Garden, which has that atmospheric firey smell as well as the visuals:

And Eva’s favourite, which she dubbed the “Gay Brick Road”. The volunteer there was living her best life, singing along to “Dancing Queen” as we danced along it:

And then that optimum photo opp, the Christmas Cathedral:

The last big thing after that was the Christmas Presents, which were a set of frames with multicoloured streamers, much like those ribbon doors you used to get in the 70s:

Naturally, this was a good place to do the “Homer going backwards through the hedge” meme, which the kids did at length.

Once we’d left and gone into the chilly December night, I was feeling pleased with the hotel decision. It might have been a complication earlier on but it was so nice to have a very short trip back and crash straight into a comfy bed.

The next morning, we had the chance to take in the sights of Kew in the daylight:

This confused us somewhat – is it a car park or not?

We also discovered that Kew Green is the real-life location of the London A-Z:

We left the suitcases at the hotel and spent the day pottering around Richmond, getting Black Sheep coffee and lunch from Leon and Five Guys. We’d had Premier Inn breakfast so didn’t need much topping up but the kids, as ever, had differing ideas about what they wanted. On the way home, we took the 65 bus back to the hotel and from there to Ealing Broadway:

My thought was that we could get the Elizabeth Line back to Liverpool Street and then the Weaver Line home from there. Which all worked fine but guess how long it took from hotel to HP? Yup, 90 minutes is correct….the investigations continue.

“Christmas at Kew” is on until 5th Jan. For tickets and more info, click here

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Winter Wanders

Happy December everybody! As is becoming traditional, I took a week off to celebrate my inability to plan my annual leave well and it’s surprising how I can find things to fill a chilly November week every year. I won’t tell you everything I got up to, as there was lots of sitting around eating or drinking but there are a few interesting things I saw along the way that the world in general might wanna know about:


1) Penguin trail

This was a very happy accident but, walking from Farringdon to Waterloo between breakfast and lunch dates, I spotted a couple of these perky fellas. Turns out there’s a whole penguin trail around Fleet Street and it’s on till January. More information here.

2) Eco dome

Now, this is a quirky thing to find among the windswept highrises of Stratford. Roo and I were on our way to the London Aquatic Centre for a swim and spotted this dome, which is a apparently an outdoor classroom and insect habitat. It is also a bit trippy, as the ceiling panels seem to change colour depending on the angle you’re looking at. An interesting little detour.

3) Prison Art

This is one of the only things I had planned for the week – a trip to the “No Comment” exhibition on Level 1 of the Royal Festival Hall (underneath the Clore Ballroom). The artworks ranged from incredible to slightly inexplicable – a single word written on a white piece of paper was on sale for £540. One of my favourites was art made entirely from grains and seeds:

And another from matchsticks:

It’s worth checking out and strangely, one of the curators (Jeremy Deller) is also holding a Santa’s grotto for adults at the Walthamstow Trades Hall in a couple of weeks’ time. The Trades is the home of Disco 2000 so it feels like a bit of a small world…

4) Free toilets

Not exciting for everyone, I realise that but a novelty in Central London. I took an impulsive shortcut through Lincoln’s Inn Fields and found loos that were free and didn’t even have those chilly metal seats. You can thank me in your own time.


5) Hipster pastries

The obvious companion piece to prisoner art is Arôme – a hipster bakery in Covent Garden, which is where we went for lunch straight after the Royal Festival Hall. There was a queue to be seated so we got a takeaway and perched on a bench on Mercer Walk. I had the seaweed and tomato jam scroll, which was a little odd but tasty. My companion Mimbles had the hotdog and BBQ sauce croissant and pronounced it very enjoyable…so maybe I just chose poorly. The homemade lemonade hit the spot though.

6) A new coffee shop

I think I might have mentioned Helen’s Coffee on the Green in North Chingford on the blog before. Probably around this time last year, when I was shuttling back and forth almost constantly. Well, the shuttling is thankfully over but sadly Helen’s closed earlier this year. Here’s the good news though – a new coffee shop has opened up in its place! It’s called Randerson’s Cafe and they sell delicious homemade cakes and Perky Blenders coffee. Well worth stopping off if you’re in the area.


7) A broken playground

While I had many coffee or dining companions during the week, only one of them demanded I find him a playground. His wish was my command, and it just so happened that we were near St John’s Churchyard, which I last visited in 2015. After reading my own blog post for reference, we found the way in but alas – the main climbing frame was out of order. There were still swings and a spinning thing and bouncy things…and squirrels. So all was not lost!


8) A Victorian bathhouse

I also got a chance this week to check out the intriguing Victorian bathhouse just behind Liverpool Street. If you’re ever invited to go inside, it’s well worth a visit. It’s just as quirky inside as it is outside. I shall say no more…!


9) New overground signage

This is probably well-worn news by now but over the past week, the Overground signage has gradually morphed into the new names and colours. No, they did not take my suggestions, but nevertheless, it’s interesting to see the updates. There are some confusing bits – I don’t know whether it’s just a work in progress but the signage at Stratford has you following the orange signs until you’re in the subway, when they abruptly change to light blue “Mildmay” signs. And this sign at the Hackney Downs/Hackney Central interchange doesn’t know whether it’s coming or going:

But here’s the more pleasing version:

And I bet you’re wondering what all the new lines look like in rainbow order, don’t you? Wonder no more!

10) Lots of Christmas trees

Well, what do you expect this time of year?? Here are just four of the beauts I spotted on my way around town:

Happy Advent everyone!

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“Pan” at Chickenshed – 28/11/24

I might have mentioned in a previous post that Chickenshed has turned 50 this year (congratulations again!) and that means that their winter show had to be something pretty special. So they ran a poll to choose which show from previous years to revive and tonight we saw the result – a new version of Peter Pan that felt at once both nostalgic and modern.

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The same can be said for the story itself….even though it’s a long-told tale, there are themes in it that are still very relevant today. The pain of growing up and changing, the desire to escape the humdrum life for something more exciting and the need for a mother figure in all our lives. On the bus there, I was showing Roo an Instagram post about a seal called Biscuits, who had been rejected by his mother and was looking for a new nurturing connection. I couldn’t help but think of poor Biscuits when watching the Lost Ones welcoming Wendy to be mother to them all. And then I promised Roo that I would never abandon him in the sea to starve.

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There are some more modern sensibilities to the characters here too – Wendy is more assertive and self-sufficient than she has been portrayed in previous versions. Some of the more problematic aspects of the previous versions have also not been included in this production, which is probably for the best. But in other ways, the aesthetic is very much vintage. The opening number says that this story could be set anywhere – and the gathering of storytellers gives it an international flavour – but the set for the Darlings’ house is a very familiar world.

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While I think about it, I should mention that the sets are incredible. The Darlings’ house is almost life size and has both interior and exterior versions of the window. The world of Never-Neverland is brought to life with a large-scale pirate ship and a den that fits all 45 of the Lost Ones cast. I believe that we saw the blue cast, with Alexia Alexandrou as Wendy, Nico Pulizzi-Brown as John, Lewis Marriott as Michael and Cicily Ford-Simpson as Tigerlily/The Storyteller. There are five casts in total and a number of adult roles, some of which rotate as well. We saw Tristan Manzi as Peter and Lucy-Mae Beacock as Tinkerbell….and now I’ve got some of the informative bits out of the way, let me see if I can convey the magic of the 50th anniversary “Pan” to you.

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Because this is a production that has fairydust sprinkled all over it. Peter could truly be from another world as he appears to move with ethereal elegance, landing backflips without a sound. Tinkerbell is suitably grouchy, expressing her indignation through glittery-sounding squeaks, but she and her troupe of fairies can’t help but be a little bit charming, even when they’re inciting sabotage. The child leads have a sense of wonder about everything that’s happening around them and the flying scenes are pulled off with dreamy grace.

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The huge cast move seamlessly as one, with the usual BSL interpreters woven into the narrative throughout. It’s a beautiful production, with even simple scenes like Wendy and Peter being stranded on the rock presented with atmospheric smoke to represent the water. It’s the detail in the staging that makes the world of “Pan” so engaging.

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And then there are the comedy elements, which are abundant too, especially in the scenes with the pirates. Jonny Morton as Hook is suitably creepy and made Roo jump when he appeared right next to him on the stairs. I think I described him as “sinister” in the “Carmen” review so it seems like Chickenshed have landed well on their go-to bad guy. Ashley Driver revels in his role as the hapless Smee – though the addition of a second Smea (Jimmy Adamou) suggests that Ashley Driver might have competition for the comedy roles in the future.

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Familiar Chickenshed faces like Bethany Hamlin, Courtney Daye, Will Laurence and Cara McInanny pop up in supporting roles, including doing some of the signing, but there is lots of new talent on display as well. It’s one of the things I love about Chickenshed – that the established actors are taking the younger ones literally by the hand to build their confidence and lead them into bigger roles.

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There were some very tiny children in this production but they all seemed to know exactly what they were doing and while some children obviously had adults assigned to help them through the routines, it was all integrated so well that it just added to the overall effect. As someone who is terrible at childwrangling on any kind of scale, I am always amazed and impressed by how Chickenshed manages these massive casts.

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Talking of the massive casts, the most impressive scenes are always when one of the large groups is on stage at the same time. There is so much power in people dancing and singing together and both groups – the pirates and the Lost Ones – really re-enforce the notion of finding family wherever you can. They may be large and squabbling families but both of these groups are families in a way. It’s a theme that runs throughout the show and I’m sure there were a few tears shed around the audience when the Darling family finally reunites at the end.

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The age recommendation for this show is 5+ and I think that’s about right. There are some intense moments, such as when the pirates come right to the front of the stage and shout directly into the audience. There is real jeopardy and the plot is complex enough that it’s satisfying for older audiences but the whole show might be a bit long for tiny kids. I had the gangly GCSE Drama student in tow and he enjoyed it, particularly the comedy scenes so I think it’s good for that age group as well as children who aren’t taller than me. It’s a slightly darker version than some others I’ve seen but it never gets too scary so 5+ feels like a good guideline.

One special mention for the adorable puppet of Nana – I know we’re biased as we do love dogs here but that puppet was an extremely Good Girl. I wonder if some of the performances might have a meet and greet option for kids (and adults) who might want to pet the dog…maybe an idea for later in the run though, in case the puppet gets damaged through overenthusiastic petting.

Talking of meet and greets though, I did spot the stars in the cafe area just after the show so I got a chance to tell them how much we’d enjoyed it and how Hook had managed to unnerve the teen. And that’s what you want from a panto, isn’t it? Some good songs, a visual spectacle, a few laughs and being scared by the villain. “Pan” definitely delivers on all of that…it’s a must-see family show for this festive season.

“Pan” runs until 11th January. For tickets and more info, click here

Disclaimer: I received free tickets in exchange for a review. All opinions remain honest and my own. 

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Paradox Museum – 30/10/24

Welcome to Day #10 of the ever-lasting half term. Eva’s out there in the dark streets, covered in watermelon juice and begging for sweets from strangers. Standard stuff. But while it seems that we’ve given up on parenting today, I did spend some quality time with her yesterday…and that involved a trip to the Paradox Museum with the Hollies.

We met at Waterloo and had a nice lunch at a slightly-overcrowded Giraffe on the South Bank. We were seated outside, where it was fairly calm, but the inside was packed with toddlers. I sometimes miss the original LWAT days but…not always.

We then hung out at the playground for a bit. It’s had some new features since I last visited, including some pirate ships that seem to lurch dangerously towards passers-by and threaten to take their eyes out. All the better for being pirates, I guess. We had a quick trip to Primark in Tottenham Court Road, where Holly bought some emergency shoes and Eva stung me for three items of “fashion” – a waistcoat, a pair of fluffy socks and a pair of fake Ugg boots. Like I said, it was quality time.

Along the way, we looked in at Outernet where you seem to be able to interact with the Tetris film through an app. We didn’t entirely work out how but there was a QR code at the end of the film to scan to join I think.

Then it was time to head to Knightsbridge for the Paradox Museum. We hopped on the Piccadilly Line, which was fairly swift and gave us enough time to have a snack at Pret (without the discount. Sob!) I always allow a bit of extra time for getting into places like this and so we were there well before our ticket time but that’s not necessary – you’re only let into the building at the timeslot so all the toilet trips, cloakroom etc have to be done after that. So don’t bother turning up 15 minutes early cause there’s nowhere to queue and it won’t be time well spent. We probably should have stayed in Pret.

But once we were inside, all was straightforward. There weren’t too many people jostling to get in at once so we had a few calm minutes to put our stuff into a locker (including the two extra pairs of shoes we were now carrying). Then it was through the lightboxes into the exhibition:

From the adverts, you might think this was similar to the Twist Museum and you’d be right. It has the same kind of format, where the big photo opportunities have smaller illusions and points of interest in between, which is good when the photo opps often have a bit of a wait. The first illusion was the conference table, which I didn’t get a good picture of because it was quite dark but essentially it was a mirror illusion where two of the kids could turn themselves into an entire council. Who, weirdly, never seemed to reach a consensus on everything. Like most meetings, really.

We skipped over the Shadow Freeze as someone else was using it and headed for the Tilted Room, stopping to look at some of the smaller exhibits along the way. Such as this little guy:

We hadn’t booked the Zero Gravity experience so the next room was the Camouflage Room:

Eva’s one desire was to be a “floating head”, which I think she achieved:

Nearby, these was also a colour room like the one at the Science Museum:

And a pretty piece of butterfly art:

The next room had a lot of the most popular photo opportunities. Before I get into the head-on-a-platter, please do enjoy this freakish mashup of mine and Eva’s faces:

I didn’t get any good pictures of the Illusion Throne but here’s that head on a platter you ordered:

So, she got to be a floating head more than once. Who says I don’t know how to show her a good time?

Maybe I can stick the floating head on this pair of legs I found on the Paradox Sofa – now I just need somebody for the middle.

I can’t remember the exact order of the rooms after that but there was a TARDIS which contained an infinity room (it’s bigger on the inside!) and this very 90s-music-video piece of art:

Plus the classic “Usual Suspects” illusion. There were orange jumpsuits to wear but none of the kids had the patience to work out how to put them on. But here are the tiny and giant versions of Eva:

They grow up so fast!

Sadly the balcony was closed, so we couldn’t take in the view of Harrods opposite. At the moment, the Harrods windows are covered up – presumably in preparation for Christmas – but I imagine it will be an amazing view in a few weeks’ time. We made do with this view instead:

The penultimate room is tube-themed, with the Paradox Tunnel and a walk-in kaleidoscope. The Paradox Tunnel moves as you walk through, which did make me feel a little motion sick but it was a cool effect:

And the kaleidoscope was Halloween-themed:

Talking of kaleidoscopes, I forgot to include yet another terrifying Eva-image from earlier:

Truly too many EKs.

The final room was the Mirror Maze, which again I didn’t get a good picture of, but before then was the image you’d probably recognise from the posters. Here we are at the LUL Paradox:

(With thanks to Holly for her excellent and patient photography skills)

So there was a lot in there but we only took around an hour to look at everything, including the gift shop. It’s fairly expensive for what it is but you can get some great photos and it’s just the kind of thing that tweens enjoy. It wasn’t too crowded and we didn’t have massive waits for anything, which was good but there were a couple of bottlenecks. It’s probably worth going round twice if you can as I’m sure there’s stuff we missed. It was a smallish space but they fit a lot in there. I’d say it was similar to the Twist Museum and probably not quite as good as Dopamine Land. But certainly a good way to spend an October afternoon.

For more info, click here.

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“Dr Strangelove” at Noel Coward Theatre – 22/10/24

Wow, we have been ever so stage-y this half term. Macbeth last Friday evening, Musical Con on Saturday and yesterday Eva and her BFF went to see “Heathers” in Oxford. I’m not reviewing that one because I was in the office in a state of pastry-induced hysteria. But she got to wear her Veronica outfit again and they had a wonderful time by all accounts.

What I am going to review tho, is the missing piece of the mega-theatre puzzle – the anniversary trip Nathan and I took on Tuesday night to see Steve Coogan in “Dr Strangelove”. Yes, just the two of us and no kids. I’d heard about the show through a well-targeted Facebook ad and bought tickets as a birthday present for Nathan. It’s almost 6 weeks after his birthday but he’s not complaining – it’s gone on for a really long time this year. I expect the same for my 45th.

It’s been a while since I saw the Kubrick film but I had a fairly good idea of what to expect. Steve Coogan began his career as an impressionist, I believe, and I vaguely remember his switching of characters on “Coogan’s Run” so if anyone can pull off four characters (one more than Peter Sellers!) it’s probably him. I’ve always enjoyed Armando Iannucci’s work as well so that made me think this would be a good play. Until I looked at the cast list after the show, I would not have clocked that Peter from the 1980s “Narnia” TV show was also in it but….he was. I think his character was the one who had to go and buy fresh fish for Bakov. You’ll know what I mean if you’ve seen it.

So, a familiar story but I was looking forward to seeing how they’d bring it to life. It can be hard to transition from screen to stage but we’d seen a battleship appear in Stranger Things so surely a B-52 wouldn’t be too tricky?

The play starts with a song – “Try a Little Tenderness”, which I believe was used for the opening credits of the film. Having characters singing it live made me wonder if it was actually going to be “Strangelove: The Musical”, which I wouldn’t object to but it might be a bit of a shift in mood. But then the curtain opened on the set of General Ripper’s office and from then on, it was apocalyptic screwball comedy all the way.

Steve Coogan is in pretty much every scene so this first one was when he was playing the uptight Brit, Captain Mandrake. As someone who’s built his career on awkward British types, this was a very natural fit and the interplay between him and the All-American General Ripper (John Hopkins) was delightful. There’s not much time to establish the characters before the situation escalates into all-out chaos but it’s deftly handled and there’s a sense of tightly-controlled panic, especially when Ripper pulls the gun out for the first time.

The action then shifts to the War Room at the Pentagon and the second of Steve’s characters – the President. This is more of a straight-man role so, although he does a convincing American accent and sets up the gags nicely, it’s not the best showcase for his skills. But it’s a good, neutral filling between the slightly crazier slices of bread either side – the physical comedy of Mandrake and, of course, the eponymous Doctor. We’ll get to him.

First though, a shout out to the set designers. The giant War Room table appears as if from nowhere, complete with glasses and other breakable things that suggest they had to be a bit delicate putting it into place. The set feels very Kubrick in nature and I think the table in the film was green, just like this one was. Of course, that was a detail that was slightly lost on the viewing public seeing as the film was in black and white but Stan was just that kinda man. The significance of the green is meant to be like they’re playing poker with humanity, which is a nice bit of symbolism. We were a bit too high up to properly see “The Big Board” but there were screens in the boxes on the side, which showed what was on it so we didn’t miss out. Like the Russian Ambassador, we studied them with interest.

I won’t go through every individual actor as this was a fairly large cast, compared with some we’ve lately. The War Room scenes are very much an ensemble piece, with all the different Chiefs contributing to the madness. General Buck Turgidson (Giles Terera) and the aforementioned Russian Ambassador (Tony Jayawardena) are probably the stand-out characters in these scenes as they clash so frequently and almost come to blows (prompting the immortal line “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here…this is the War Room”) . While these scenes were funny, I was almost distracted by watching for how they were going to swap President Coogan out for Dr Coogan. When it came to it, it wasn’t overly subtle…the President went to the back of the stage to make a call to the Vice President and remotely address a swimming gala. While his back is turned and he wanders in and out of view a few times, a wheelchair approaches from the left. To be fair, I don’t think it was ever meant to be a gasp-inducing illusion and it was done very smoothly. In fact, I didn’t notice the switch back and I really was watching out for it.

So, onto the titular character. Obviously the most extreme comedy character of the show and one that Steve Coogan was clearly having fun with. His German accent was a caricature but he kept it consistent and the jokes about his Nazi past were played with the right mix of shame and edginess. I wasn’t sure whether these kind of jokes would be acceptable in the age of trigger warnings but you can’t really have the character without them. I don’t think this production was looking to make any statements that were grander than “isn’t war a bit crappy?” and “things have not changed as much as we’d like since the 60s”. It certainly hit both those notes and looking at the world around us, with the US election coming up and all the various conflicts going on in the world….well, it is depressingly pertinent.

Act One ends with a bang, which is sad for anyone who wanted to know more about the Fluoride Conspiracy. But good for those of us who were craving some sugar – being right in the back row meant we were first in the ice cream queue and we had plenty of time to enjoy it while listening to an early 60s soundtrack – The Ronnettes and Elvis, among others. I should also say, having complained about the toilet situation at Macbeth, that there were no queues at all at Dr Strangelove. And us middle-aged women do appreciate that.

Act Two started with the appearance of the B-52 – and it really was impressively sized. I’d heard from the production team’s social media posts that this might be somewhat of a challenge but they aced it. Of course, it was one of many challenges that the team faced as getting Steve Coogan through a full costume change every scene (trousers and everything!) can’t have been easy. The B-52 contained Steve’s fourth character – the one played by Slim Pickens in the film. Apparently Peter Sellers was meant to play all four as well but apparently sprained his ankle and couldn’t work in the aircraft set. Again, this role is quite a broad comedy one – Texan accent, American bravado and a whole heap of communistophobia. Steve Coogan seems quite relaxed with this again, enjoying the caricature, and he seems to play it very naturally. I was trying to think on the way home which other actor would pull this off with such ease and I was kinda stumped. Maybe Reece Shearsmith? It certainly is a demanding play in every aspect – not just the costume changes but the number of lines to be learnt and all the physical comedy as well. But it’s a triumph.

I won’t say too much about the ending because I don’t want to spoil it for anyone else who might go. I mean, if you’ve seen the film you know what happens at the end but I was more thinking I didn’t want to spoil the surprise in the last scene. All I’ll say is it’s very in keeping with the film and leaves you somehow light-hearted despite how grim the reality would be if you thought about it too much.

So, all said, it’s a very faithful adaptation of the film and possibly has more laugh-out-loud moments. I did like the couple of lines that were clearly a bit of a modern update, such as when one of the men in the War Room acknowledged the gender imbalance around the table. But it largely feels nostalgic and in a good way. The cast are all superb and the set design, as previously mentioned, is very clever. Obviously Steve Coogan was the star many times over but the whole ensemble were great and it wouldn’t have worked if they hadn’t been so accurate on their marks (I don’t even know who the Mr President body double was but he was good at not giving the game away). I didn’t take the kids because they haven’t seen the film but actually, I think there’s plenty they’d enjoy here. And hopefully the play’s predictions won’t turn out to be too accurate….

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