It’s been another busy day. I only had one day off work over half term so needed to max it out with something that was fun, autumnal and Halloweeny. I’ve never been particularly into Halloween but my pagan children are, so nowadays we just kinda roll with it.
First though, brunch! This is something I very much *am* into and I decided to visit a cafe in Woodford as our fuelling stop. The 275 is on a massive diversion at the moment so the trip to Woodford took longer than usual and involved the North Circular, which is terrifying on a bus cause it just feels so unnatural. I definitely needed a cup of tea before tackling the Central Line and Cafe Royale provided that, along with a bacon roll. We had CousinZ with us, so she and Roo both went with pancakey options that looked mighty impressive. Eva had her usual hash browns, chips and milkshake. She really rated the cafe….so much so that I jotted down what she said and I’ll let her write the review.
“This place is really good….the food is delicious, the hash browns are crispy, it’s really clean, the toilets are fancy and there’s a giant fish constantly giving you side eye and it’s hard to argue with that”
I mean, would you argue with this guy?
It’s nice to be in Woodford for leisure reasons, rather than running through the station cursing about the Chingford branch being down. Still, it was only a stop on the way to our eventual destination and so we got on the Central Line all the way across the M25 and to Epping.
I’ve heard so much about the Epping-Ongar railway over the years as friends have been on the Santa train or other seasonal adventures. I’ve never been clear on the logistics, so let me unpack them for you today.
The experience starts at Epping tube. You get off the Central Line and there’s a vintage routemaster outside which takes you to North Weald. The bus is included in the price and the time you book for – 12:20 in our case – is the time the bus departs from Epping, not the time the train departs from North Weald. I think there is an option to board at North Weald but there’s no parking, so you’d have to park nearby and walk or get a cab…at which point you might as well park in the massive car park at Epping and take the free bus. Plus, you’ve gotta love a Routemaster, even if they’re smaller than I remember. Roo’s head was touching the ceiling of the upper deck when he was standing.
Once we got to North Weald, there was a bit of time for us to faff around and go to the loo before the train departed. I think it was about 25 mins and we managed to check in at the ticket office, meet the mad surgeon and collect our goody bags as well as loo trips.
There was a long queue for the snack van in the car park but there was a smaller cafe on the platform, where we managed to get bakewell tarts and chocolate fudge cakes for the journey. Yes, we had only just had brunch but the kids growing. Right out of the roof of a Routemaster, in Reuben’s case.
The idea of the ghost train is that you’re constantly jump-scared by the spooky creatures on board. Maybe because the kids are quite old and cynical or maybe because it was bright sunlight when we were travelling, but the creatures were a bit more comical than scary. I mean, a few years back Eva would have been screaming at the sight of a grim reaper gliding through the train but she’s been watching back-to-back FNAF Game Theory videos this week so her horror tolerance is at an all-time high.
We had great fun though. The actors were really good sports and the werewolf didn’t object to being petted and called adorable. The surgeon was more than willing to take a look at Reuben’s toe problem and even Death himself briefly took part in recreating the Spiderman pointing meme on the platform at Ongar.
The carriages were decorated with cobwebs and severed limbs and there was a mostly spooky soundtrack, which would probably be terrifying at night. Apart from the bit where they were playing the Scooby Doo theme tune or a rap version of “The Timewarp”. But the “X-Files” theme and “Toccata and Fugue” certainly set the scene.
I think we might have been a bit hyper and just finding everything hysterical….other carriages were certainly screaming with actual terror a lot more than we were. I loved the vintage train and there was something so nostalgic about seeing these kind of windows which my school train in the 90s still had. The kids were impressed by my skills in pushing the bar in, pulling the window and opening from the outside. Still got it!
When we got to Ongar, a lot of people seemed to stay on the train so we weren’t entirely sure that we were meant to disembark. But eventually everyone else joined us and the manic magician performed his show in a white marquee on the platform. When I heard there would be a dark magician, I was genuinely scared in case it was someone I used to work for…but luckily it was just the jovial surgeon again. There is one thing that really would make me scream at Halloween and that came dangerously close.
Just as CousinZ came dangerously close to having her hand cut off by aforementioned magician. But it was fine. She lived to tell the tale.
There were also craft materials out, which we didn’t use to their full extent but Reuben did do this:
While we were at Ongar, we also visited the spooky graveyard, where spooky ‘slebs like Dracula and Captain Hook were buried. Dracula’s tombstone had multiple dates of death on it, which was a nice touch.
The return journey was possibly even more lighthearted – I think they dial down the spookiness a bit in case any kids are properly freaked out by that point. That’s when the Scooby Doo theme got played, along with “Wizard of Oz” and “Monster”. We stopped for a while at North Weald to hook up to a steam engine before going through the forest and back for the final leg of the journey. This is where the autumnal theme came in, as Epping Forest is gorgeous this time of year and there’s no better way to travel through it than on steam train, right?
When we got back to North Weald for the final time, we had just enough time for another loo trip before the bus departed back to Epping.
All the timings are quite carefully thought out so you don’t feel rushed but you aren’t hanging around too long either. Do leave plenty of time for the first bit getting to Epping though – especially if your bus is on diversion – because the Routemaster left bang on time.
On the way back, we alighted at Epping Church because Eva was hungry. I deployed yet another of my lost skills – hanging onto the open platform of a Routemaster without falling into the traffic – and we wandered down the High Street to find a chip shop called so Eva could keep her potato levels topped up. It was around 3PM by then so I was glad we’d brunched. Also, the time given on the tickets – 2.5 hours – is pretty much spot on.
From there, it was back on the Central Line pausing only to take in the views:
And then home along the North Circular on the bus again. Still not used to that….
All three kids had a great day and are still giggling themselves to sleep (?) thinking about making one-way conversation with serial killers. It might be genuinely scary for smaller kids but the tween/teen audience loved it. And this 90s relic loved the transport. And I’m not even ashamed to admit it.
The Ghost Train is on until 28th Oct. For tickets and more info, click here.
