GIVEAWAY! – Q Pootle 5 Event with Nick Butterworth


The summer holidays are approaching fast but I have a few ideas that’ll keep your kids happy. Like this event – renowned children’s author and illustrator Nick Butterworth is coming to the Royal Observatory in Greenwich  on 26th July for “Holiday to Space with Q Pootle 5″. He’ll be reading from his book, entertaining with live illustrations and you will also get the chance to watch episodes of the show in the suitably atmospheric Planetarium. Sadly, I won’t be there (dang day job!) but YOU could be, as I have a pair of tickets to give away! Just answer the question below by 21st July and I’ll be announcing the winner on 22nd July.

For more information on the event, and to buy tickets click here. And to read my interview with Nick, have a look over here. He’s a very nice man. If you don’t win, tickets are £6 and the event runs from 10:00-13:00 on the 26th. Enter now!

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Mudchute Farm – 08/07/16


I’ll start with some big news – Nathan won a pub quiz last week. He stored up a question to ask me at home because he thought I would find it nicely challenging, TfL geek that I am.

It was not challenging. “Band who sang “Tiger Feet”, on a slide”.

Clearly, it was Mudchute and I demanded extra points for going there just a few days later.  Now, that’s dedication to pub quizzing.


I was there to meet R, the lovely ex-intern that featured in this post. But first, Eva and I were riding on the wizard train  and that’s exciting enough for the whole day. In fact, I’m surprised that anyone can sit on the Wizard Train and not look excited. Yet some people were managing it. Even when we went up the big hill from Bank (wheeee!) and when we could see all the boats in the docks and when we went round that really tight corner (wheee!) and when we went past Canary Wharf and saw the Important News of the Day scrolling by on a screen. And all this without a driver! How did these people contain themselves?


The farm itself had a lot to live up to. I’m not sure I’ve ever been to the Isle of Dogs before (look out, fact fans…it’s not an island!). Somehow in my mind’s eye I’d imagined it as an ultra-modern place, packed with shiny offices and one massive Asda. We didn’t see the massive Asda but I was surprised to see some pretty, period houses right next to the station. Maybe this is where bankers sleep..if they can actually sleep at night.


The entrance to the farm is a little oblique from Mudchute station but the website tells you where to go. Basically, cross the zebra crossing and there’s a big grassy park in front of you. Don’t go into it. Instead, find a small gate to your left which will lead you onto a bridle path. You follow that for a long way until you come out at the back of the farm, faced with an entrance you can’t get through. So take the path on the left at that point, behind the stables and you’ll find the bit you can go through.

Or you can do what the website suggests and go to Crossharbour instead. You get to visit the Asda too!


We started off in the courtyard, which had the smaller animals in – birds, rabbits, things in cages. It wasn’t overly exciting so we went to look at the horses instead. There was only one in the stables but we’d meet them in the fields later on. So, what else can you meet at Mudchute?


Llamas! This guy was a bit of a looker, although I think a trip to the orthodontist wouldn’t hurt. There was a school party looking round the farm  and as one small child was feeding a different llama, he leaned right over and started eating her high-vis. We thought it was hilarious but I’m not sure the child in question did.

Also, it did make Eva even more scared of the pigs than she already was. I jovially said that they might eat her (which is true) and then she ran away, quivering. I don’t think that’s a problem – a fear of pigs is healthy. They aren’t all cuddly like Peppa. We also saw this sign, which handily reminded us not to kiss any animals:


And slightly randomly, an ack-ack gun:


We wandered around the paddocks – there is quite a lot of space and you can see sheep, goats and alpacas grazing. But we too needed to graze, so we sat down in the courtyard to picnic. Eva of course ate the tiniest amount of sandwich then ran off to clamber over the benches. I slightly regret bringing a picnic, as the food at the cafe looked good, but since Vauxhall City Farm a few weeks ago, I am taking no chances.


She was clearly restless, so we headed for the adjacent Millwall Park to have a climb about. But how to get there? We went back the way we came and could see the park as we walked along the ridge, but a steep slope and a bank of stinging nettles stood in our way. We had to go most of the way back to the road, but I’m sure there must have been a better way. If you find it, let me know!


There were two play areas in the park. Eva tired of the smaller one quite quickly and wanted to go on the giant climbing frame on the other side of the park. I thought she’d be way too wussy to try it but no, she proved me wrong. A few cautious steps but she managed to get to the highest basket. This newfound confidence is terrifying. Maybe I should threaten her with the pigs again.




We needed to head back to get Roo, but first one of Millwall Park’s sights – a statue of a woman and a fish. Wanna guess what it’s called? “Woman and Fish”. Great stuff Mudchute!


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LWAT is 5! A Disappointing Post

roo 5th

This is Roo and Nathan two years and a month ago, on Reuben’s 5th birthday. I prepped hard for that party, baking a special cake, setting a dinosaur hunt and filling party bags with dino-related goodies. Now my second child, the blog, has turned 5 and I didn’t even remember till this morning. Goodness knows whether I’ll remember Eva’s next year. I’m busy, OK? My choir is making their debut at Highams Park Day this week, the choir I sing in (WAM) is singing at Walthamstow Garden Party on the same day and there are so many local campaigns going on that I struggle to remember which side of which argument I’m on. So I have entirely failed to organise the annual bout of LWAT madness like we did for the 2nd, 3rd and 4th birthdays. I promise I’ll conjure something up for the 500th in a few posts’ time Instead then, I’m going to pull a Facebook and invite you to look over some memories. Here’s a rundown of….LWAT’s Top 5 posts of All Time! At Number 5, we have…

The Winner of the Toddler-Friendly Cafe Awards!

lwat5 Now, this is a project I super-enjoyed as it involved lots of eating cake and drinking coffee and then writing about it. Pity we decided to move house halfway through, which distracted me somewhat. It was a hard-fought contest but the Dish and the Spoon emerged victorious. I hear they have a new, interactive mural wall in there now so I may need to go and visit again soon…Mmm, carrot cake…

4. Getting Around London With a Toddler


  Now, this one is a workhorse and no mistake. I wrote it when I was pregnant with Eva and pushing Reuben around in a giant buggy. So I knew a thing or two about stations with huge flights of stairs (yes you, Kentish Town West!) and I think of that every time I see a parent struggling with steps now. And yes, I helped a mother with her buggy just this afternoon. Thanks for asking. But apparently this has been a popular subject among the toddler-wranglers of London, and this humble post has kept bringing them in over the years. Plus, it really makes me appreciate the wonders of buggy-free travel nowadays.

3. Andy’s Dinosaur Adventures

lwat3   Bless you Andy – a half term visit to a program launch at the Natural History Museum has provided me with one of my most popular ever posts. It was a great bash, and I had a lovely chat with Andy’s Dad in the queue for the cloakroom. Sadly, the kids got chickenpox a few days later and our lives spiralled downwards for the two weeks afterwards. But 2 years on and people are still googling Andy to find out whether that clock is always at the museum. It’s not – sorry about that.

2. Katie Bloody Hopkins

lwat2 I know what would be a good procrastination while I’m supposed to be writing  commercial copy for clients – dash off a sarky blogpost about that woman who shoots her mouth off on “This Morning”. Little did I know that it would generate 30,000 hits in one day and forever ruin the rest of my stats. Thanks for that Katie.

1. 100 Things to Do With a Toddler in London

lwat1 Luckily though, another hardworking post has managed to keep Katie off the top. We were having a spectacularly bad week the week I took these photos – a bit of blue sky allowed me to escape the house with my newborn and 3-year-old. We got some lovely pics and when we got home, there was a shiny new lodger waiting for us on the doorstep. After that, all was well. And people still look at my list of 100 things to do all the time, especially on Pinterest for some reason. I even made it into an ebook. And what a positive post to be No 1 (take that Hopkins!) Thanks for all the love and support over the last 5 years. I’m aware that I no longer have a toddler, but at long as I have stuff to write about, I think I’ll keep this place going. And start thinking now about what kinda craziness we can pull out of the bag for post 500!

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#MoreinCommon Picnic to Discuss Brexit -09/07/16


Now, I’ve been trying to keep politics off the blog as much as possible – that’s fodder for my HuffPost posts – but this was a bona fide London event where toddlers were welcome. I’ve never taken the kids on a protest march – they’re whiney enough about walking anywhere, let alone walking for the sake of it – but this sounded like something they’d be OK with. A picnic in Green Park where we discuss the implications of Brexit and try to figure out a way to move forward. What a very English way to protest.

Obviously, we dressed for the occasion, with a loose kind of yellow-and-blue theme. Believe it or not, this is the most normal-looking photo I could get of the kids:


I said a loose theme, right? Here’s my attempt at EU-themed nail varnish:


I’m in no way artistic enough to do 1 star, let alone 12 stars. This was as good as it got.

We travelled to Green Park using a route prescribed by Reuben (I am so proud) and got there a few minutes early. No sign yet of a giant protest-picnic. Luckily, there was an air ambulance taking off to entertain the kids:


We were still early, but managed to find some other lost people with kids so sat down to start picnicking together. The stewards came over to say hello and tell us what was happening and gradually other people joined us. One particularly snarky article on the event called it a “houmous revolution” so I’m pleased to say our picnic-houmous made it into Getty Images:


Pity we can’t all agree on how to spell houmous though.

Obviously there were always going to be people who snarked at this picnic but it was a nice atmosphere – chatting with others who worried about Brexit and the various economic and political craziness that has since ensued. Some people were hardened campaigners; others were, like us, middle-class parents with lefty leanings who were dipping their toes in the political waters. But it was good to be there together with nothing dividing us. Oh except a big fence that someone erected:


That was odd. Surely we were together, #moreincommon etc…a windbreaker right through the middle of the picnic seemed divisive. Unless…could it be…a counter-picnic?

Yup, new one on me too. Apparently this is a thing now – when people stage a peaceful protest it is OK to stick your own protest right in the middle of that, with big posters and your own camera crew. I have been trying not to generalise about Leave voters and I know that many of them are totally tolerant, altruistic and lovely people…but this bunch of Leave voters did not do anything to make me warm to them. I mean, who sticks a fence up in the middle of someone else’s picnic? And as for stereotyping, well this lot stereotyped themselves. I shall say no more.

(Now, I should point out that I am being a tad hypocritical here, as we did indeed once hijack someone else’s protest. But that was different – it was to point out the hypocrisy of IDS turning up and sadfacing about parking restrictions when he had a whole load of benefit deaths he should probably be getting on with. Besides, we stood politely to the side while they had their photoshoot.)

Anyway, we tried to ignore the counter-protest and get on with the admin of the day – looking through a list of proposals and voting on which ones we thought would move things forward in the best way. The online poll is now closed, but you can have a look through here and see if you agree with any of the ideas. We agreed with some more than others but it’ll be interesting to see what happens next. It was also interesting to chat to the people we were sitting with – a 17-year-old who couldn’t vote but has her whole university career in jeopardy over the result, a mother who fears her child will be racially abused in this new climate, a small girl who knew a lot about the Octonauts. Reuben occasionally shouted out “Stay in Europe!” or regaled our new friends with facts about Scotland’s voting record. Boy is learning about politics and the Victoria Line. An afternoon well spent.

Plus, I finally found and used the Green Park station toilets. Big moment, I know. You go through the tickets barriers and straight forward (with the park exit on your left). After a while, you’ll be able to follow the smell. It was 50p for each child (and a big sign saying that children must pay) and I can’t say it felt like a pound’s worth of toilet visit. They were a little manky and a sign inside advertised the price as 6d. That I would have paid. Still, the walk across the park gave the kids the opportunity to find a massive stick and drag it back to the picnic area:


We’d spent a couple of hours protesting/eating homous but the thrills of wordsearch books and CBeebies app were starting to wear off. It was almost time to go, but first the kids wanted to see Buckingham Palace – Reuben explained that Eva was going to be a princess when she grew up, so she needed to know what a palace looked like. They are so anti-establishment, huh?


Then, it was time to further stick it to the man by paying an extortionate amount of money for ice cream:


My kind of protest, I tell ya…

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Baby Broadway – 25/06/16


There’s no denying that life has been a little gloomy these past few days. And I’m not saying that singing Broadway tunes for 45 minutes will make the pain all go away but well, it’ll help.

So Saturday morning saw us up bright and early and ensuring the residents of Blackheath were up bright and early with us, by parking outside their hugely expensive houses and repeatedly triggering our car alarm. It was an inauspicious return to South London but things were about to get better. We were off to Baby Broadway, an event for kids and adults to enjoy music together, sung by Broadway professionals. The name suggests it’s aimed at mums on mat leave who want to do something a bit more interesting than your average playgroup sing-song – I went to something similar with a toddler Roo, where a classical pianist played for us in a church in Borough and tried to fend off the hundreds of tiny hands also wanting to touch the shiny keys. There were lots of couples with babies there but also a fair smattering of older kids and it worked really well across the ages. Roo, at 7, was probably the oldest there but he had the advantage of knowing most of the set and being able to sing along. Plus, he could read what was coming up:


The venue was Mycanae House, near Greenwich Park which we’d visited once before for an NCT sale many moons ago. It’s a little outside our turf nowadays but not far off the route to Crawley that we were taking later in the afternoon. So, why not stop for a bit of razzmatazz along the way?

Let’s start at the very beginning then – our singers were Robine Landi and Jay Bryce, who have a wealth of theatre experience between them. Robine started by giving a sung guide to what was happening, where the exits were and whether it was OK to dance and sing along. Happily it was, as the very first song was Do Re Mi, which was, as you might predict, a very good place to start. I can’t not sing along to anything from the Sound of Music and Roo knew the words too. I have to say, Robine did a very credible Julie impression….and I can be choosy when it come to Julie impersonators.

Next up was Zip-a-dee-doh, which I’ve recently introduced to the kids via “Now That’s What I Call Disney” and more Julie-channelling in the shape of “Spoonful of Sugar”, which also features on that CD so they knew that one too. I was a little worried about “The Sun Has Got His Hat On” because I seem to remember there’s a very unfortunate verse to it tucked away somewhere…but my worries were unfounded. It was just a verse about peanuts, nothing to see here.


The grown ups all enjoyed a sing along to “Sunny Afternoon”, while Robine delighted the babies with a bubble-trumpet. Then came Eva’s current fave – “Once Upon a Dream”, though both kids noticed that it was introduced as being from “Cinderella”, rather than “Sleeping Beauty”. Nothing gets past Princess-obsessed girl. She listened to it in an awestruck way, because Robine really can sing like a Disney Princess, and afterwards whispered to me that she reayyeyy reayyeyy yiked it. She didn’t produce her normal running commentary on the song (“And dis is where de bunnies are in the boots!”) so I’ll take that as a mark of respect for the singers.

Next, a lovely version of “Over the Rainbow” and then the one Roo had been looking forward to most of all – his favourite song of the moment.  It’s Mother Nature’s recipes. Jay taught the kids how to look for ants and Roo and Eva did the maddest little dance at the front. They both love “The Jungle Book” and had already watched it once that morning so it was bound to be a smash hit.

I won’t spoiler the entire set for you but I did know every song and love nearly every song (there may have been one that was schmaltzed up by a boyband in the 90s). We got the chance to sing backing vocals on a “Joseph” classic and by the end we were all up and dancing. Eva took this dance routine very seriously – she had her knees bent in tight alright:


So, an enjoyable treat for our whole family. It was always going to be an easy sell, given that I love musicals and the kids love Disney but it was really well done and both singers (and the pianist) are great at what they do. There was some lovely interaction with the kids and the atmosphere was really relaxed, so crying babies could cry away without parents getting stressed.

Afterwards, I’d hoped to grab a sandwich in the cafe but there was literally only one sandwich left and neither Nathan nor I fancied it much. Luckily I’d packed for the kids, so they had a picnic on a bench under an ever-darkening sky and then we legged it to the car before the torrential rain started. Don’t worry about me and Nathan – we had a panini on the M25 later.


There will be more Baby Broadway events coming soon – have a look here for more details.

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Big Fish Little Fish – 12/06/16


This has taken a while to write up because I was trying to get that epic Legoland post out of the way first. And if you’ve read that 2000-word monster, you’ll understand how tired we were when, the very next day, we went to church and then on to Big Fish Little Fish at Hackney Wick. And you might just understand how, on the number 30 bus, this happened:


Weirdly, this state of affairs was actually an improvement, given that moments before she’d been making strange noises and saying her tummy hurt. I was cautiously holding the Tupperware of Doom when suddenly I realised that instead of throwing up, she’d bedded down. Ah well, a quick snooze on the way would give her a bit of energy for the disco, right?

Maybe not. We arrived and she was still asleep, having been scooped out of her bus seat by Nathan and carried into the venue. There was a walled-off baby area with a generous amount of seating in it, so the two of them settled in a corner there and she slept on. It was meant for crawlers and babes-in-arms only but she was quite literally in-arms so we were let in.

It’s a pity because, out of all of us, she was the most suitably dressed for the hoedown theme. I’d had to throw some outfits together in a post-Legoland haze and I was quite pleased with this one:


She looks pleased as well, doesn’t she? Roo was in a cowboy-themed pyjama top and Nathan? Nathan’s always ready for a hoedown.

Except for now, when Nathan was stuck in a dark corner with a sleeping girl and a beer and Roo and I were the only ones roaming around the dancefloor. Don’t feel sorry for Nathan though – he was pretty happy having a sit down, a cuddle and a beer. It’s his idea of a good Sunday afternoon.

First stop for Roo and I was the craft table:



The craft activity was butterfly making, but with some randomness from Kids’ Church still buzzing around his head, he decided to make a fishing rod instead. So, the pipe cleaner became a hook, some tissue paper became a worm and some string the fishing line. But what to use as the rod itself? Aha, time for an ice lolly!


Job’s a good un.

BFLF with just one, 7-year-old child is a strangely serene experience. We could do whatever we wanted and not worry about Eva throwing tantrums because her lolly was the wrong shade of pink or it’s melted all over her outfit because she eats so darn slowly. I felt strangely free. Nathan, at this point, was still trapped.

Roo spotted a giant red balloon passing over the crowd and started to chase it. Man, he was a dedicated chaser – knocking over toddlers in his pursuit of the balloon, eyes fixed upwards as he darted through legs to catch hold of it and bat it away again. Sadly, the game was brought to a premature end as it it the ceiling and burst with a spectacular boom.

Yes, Eva still slept through that.

Next, we did a bit more craft. Roo was still thinking off-piste (is he ever on-piste) and this time turned the butterfly template into a nightvision mask. Then he pulled a few moves on the dancefloor:


I’m going to try something new now, which may well die on its arse..but here’s my attempt to capture some of those moves, via the medium of YouTube embedded video. If it doesn’t work, click here for the direct link.

think he’s trying to do the Coconut Calypso from his Perform class, but it could well be his own invention. Who knows? Waht’s that Roo, you’d like a biscuit? Sure! After all, it’s just the one kid I have to buy for….right?



Uh oh…the kraken awakens. She may have slept through a full-on rave, but the sound of her brother biting into his cowboy cookie half a room away must have pushed her injustice alarm. She was awake, confused and demanding baked goods within moments:


By now, it was darn near time to go home but she still had time to receive her tuptake, do a bit of the parachute dance and then play in the play area for a few minutes. Reuben, meanwhile, was busy adding superheroes to the colouring wall:

bflf6 bflf5

I’m sad to say Nathan and Eva probably didn’t get the most out of our BFLF trip but hey, they probably both needed the rest. I was pretty exhausted by the end, so it was lucky that Bob had invited us over and was prepared to feed me tea and crumpets and cook for my kids while I gibbered gently. Still, fun times though! And there will be a next time for poor sleepy girl…


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Legoland – 11/06/16


Reuben is almost 7 – I know, I can barely believe it either. And he’s not having a party this year. We started Project No Party early on in the year, sowing seeds in his mind about going to Legoland instead and he seems to have swallowed the bait. Turns out that a big family day out doesn’t cost much more than hiring a hall, buying party food, emptying the 99p Store of superhero-related tat etc etc. So he’s got a friend coming for hotdogs on the day itself and a room full of sweaty, screaming boys was replaced by a day of fun. Of course, I wasn’t expecting it to be very much fun. I expected the kids to be over-excited, over-tired and melty-downy. So, I took some steps to try and deflect the worst of the tantrums. Starting with a huge breakfast, to fuel up.


We were off-site at this point. We’d left home super early and by 8:45 we were breakfasting at the Windsor Lad, a Harvester just off the M4. For £1.99 each, the kids could have a 5-piece cooked breakfast, and Nathan and I splashed out on the all-in breakfasts – unlimited cooked and continental, plus unlimited tea, coffee and juice. Oh yes, this was serious fuelling up. We weren’t planning to eat again for a long, long time. So, red meat quotient filled, we set off in search of the mystical Land of Lego. The website had warned us that SatNavs often had problems finding the right place and they were not joking. One hasty U-turn in  a housing estate later and we were on the right track, thanks to Google Maps.  The kids were squealing with excitement as they saw lego men hauling giant letters around, which spelt out “Welcome”. We’d spent longer on breakfast than we meant to so got to the gates a little after they’d opened – around 10:15ish. We had to queue for about ten minutes or so, but nothing horrendous. It did mean that the lockers on the other side of the gate were already full though, and finding a locker was sort of a priority. You see, I was nothing if not prepared for the day but the result was we had a lot of stuff to carry round. We had wet weather gear, snacks, sandwiches and swimwear – all things we might need but not things we wanted to be stuffing under our seats on the rapids ride. Luckily, there was a further set of lockers next to the Hill Train station and we could jump on the brightly-coloured train with a much lighter load. Remember kids, load up on £1 coins – the lockers use one every time you unlock it, and the family-sized driers next to the wet rides use 2 of them. Top tip, I know.


So, we descended the hill and arrived at…the Land of the Vikings. Reuben had spotted the Loki Labyrinth on the map and yknow how much that kid loves a Marvel connection – so that was our first stop.


Loki, as we all know, is a mischievous sort and it’s no wonder that his maze was full of dead ends and trickery. But we did find some interesting things along the way:


Eventually, we found our way to the centre, which gave us a vantage point from which to see the way out. And a dragon!


Next up was the Vikings’ River Splash. I was only mildly perturbed by the sight of a giant Viking, who appeared to be taking a leak in the river:


Now, rookie theme-park-parents that we were, we neglected to check our the height restrictions before joining the queue. It was only after we’d been waiting for 20 minutes or so that an announcement told us the minimum height was a metre. Now, I knew that Roo was 1m 20ish last time we’d measured him, but what the heck was Eva? She was 60cm at her one year check but I thought she might have grown since then. Well, the lady with the measuring pole would tell us before we could get anywhere near the ride. We waited nervously as the queue snaked round the barriers and…phew! she passed the test! We had to make her stand up really straight and then the top of her head just touched the bottom of the pole. Really only just. But we were on. Of course, what they actually need on these rides is a minimum bravery threshold as the scared-of-it-all girl shrieked all the way round. Not so Reuben, who whooped and laughed with every bump and splash. As he got off, he yelled “that was AWESOME!”. I think we had a winner.


Eva may have disliked being sprayed with water while on the ride (she grows ever more kitteny all the time) but she didn’t mind dishing it out and soon, she and Reuben were fighting over who got to operate these water guns and soak passing boats:


We managed to drag them off those after a while and we strolled over to Pirate Shores, where a huge playground awaited.


The sign said it was for 5-12s, so it was a little on the big side for Eva, especially as some of the in-between bits involved balancing on a thin plank and hanging onto a rope. It all made me a little nervous, but she wasn’t bothered. I forget she’s actually quite strong and competent when I’m not watching. It’s only when she thinks we’re looking that she suddenly loses all structural integrity and becomes scared of her own shadow. Hmm, wolfcrier much?   Anyway, we played there for ageees – long enough to have a snack break, to lose Eva several times, for a quick jaunt round the Enchanted Forest and back again and to get a drink. It was coming up to lunchtime but we were still riding the bacon wave so we were not ready to stop for long. Reuben had his eye on something called the Jolly Rocker, which was one of those pirate ship rides that swings at a nauseating angle. I wasn’t keen, and I guessed Eva wasn’t either so we left the boys to queue and headed off to the pinkest, most girly part of the whole of Legoland – Heartlake City. Now I’ll warn you that Eva wanted photos of her with every single girly Lego model/ice cream/puppy in there. So, I’m going to share some of them  with you. Feel free to skim down to something more interesting:

DSC04712 DSC04716 DSC04714

Then we went to the mall, again at her request, and the cupcake cafe. She’s ticking all those cliche boxes, huh?


Sadly, the cafe only had pictures of cupcakes and not real ones but we had a very passable brownie and took shortbread and cookie back for the boys. They’d been on the Jolly Rocker and their assessment was “terrifying”. Yes, both of them were scared pantless by a pirate ship that kinda swung around a bit. Nearly a week on and Reuben is still going on about how scary the Jolly Rocker was. As is Nathan, to be honest.

At that point, the inevitable happened. It tipped it down. That’s where some of this stuff we’d been lugging around came in handy. We had waterproofs for the kids, although Roo’s only come up to his chest and his coat was in the car. Nathan’s coat was in the locker, which wasn’t much more helpful but we were all a bit soggy from the river ride anyway so honestly, it made little difference. We had three bits of waterproofing and one umbrella between us…but we coped. Besides, Eva had a masterplan. “I know somewhere we can go!” she started, after an abortive trip to the Nexo Knight’s Castle (it looked undercover but they are only walls…no ceiling) “It’s a ride and there’s a roof and there’s a cover on the queue”. Well, we didn’t have any better options so we went with it. The ride was the Aero Nomad, in Kingdom of the Pharoahs and the queue wasn’t undercover as far as I remembered. Turns out, there was a small amount of tree cover on some of the corners of the queue but believe me, we were not dry in that queue. Once we got onto the ride, there was a roof over our hot-air-balloon but the seats were a little soggy to sit on. For all Eva’s positivity, her plan wasn’t exactly keeping us dry.

DSC04719 But it was a good long ride. The wheel rotates bit by bit to allow people to get on, which takes ages. Then there’s the ride itself and then the disembarking process, which takes just as long. So it meant we had a decent sit-down with a roof over our heads, a small amount of icy water in my back jeans pocket and 20 foot of fresh air between our little pod and the ground.  Yeah, Roo didn’t exactly look sure either: DSC04717

It was time to do something more gentle. And what’s more gentle than the delights of Miniland, Legoland’s 20-year-old centrepiece? It’s certainly impressive both in scale and detail – it covers several countries from Europe, as well as sights around Great Britain (not sure why Ireland doesn’t get a look in). We enjoyed spotting familiar London buildings, as well as making the boats and trains move. Here are a few of our favourite models. First up, Caerphilly Castle…not exactly Land of My Fathers but certainly Land of My Nephron:



Waterloo, gateway to London for all our Hampshire teens:


Vue Leicester Square, where I did my manager training the first week I moved to London:


A ducky boat, that cheerful yellow Vauxhall icon:


Mini Holland (this one’s going out to all you E17ers):


And the London Eye…cause Roo went on a school trip there:


Ahh, calmness restored. It was nigh on 3PM by now and we weren’t planning a proper meal break any time soon. So I went to the locker to retrieve our swim stuff and some lukewarm sandwiches and the kids sat down for a few moments to eat by these slide-steps:


Swimwear, you say? Wasn’t it raining a moment ago? Why yes, but this is the British Summer and though it was grey, it was still warm enough to try out the splash park at Duplo Valley. Plus, I’d packed the swimwear so we might as well use it.


Look, there’s a hint of blue sky in that photo. Or at least a paler grey.

Duplo Valley is fab. Designed for the more Eva-age kids, there’s a huge water play area called Splash Safari, with friendly duplo animals squirting water at you. There are changing rooms and more lockers there, so the kids and I got into swimwear and I held the nervous girl’s hand as we ran through the fountains. She’d gone in on her own initially but spent so much of the time creeping around the edge with her hands over her ears that I thought I’d better help her. Reuben needed no help and he was having a great time. I’m not entirely sure he was meant to climb the animals but still..

Just up the hill from Splash Safari was Drench Towers and this was why I’d packed my own swimwear. It’s a massive structure of steps, waterslides, water shooters and showers, which children over 6 can freely roam. The under 6s however need to be accompanied by a suitably-clad adult, and that’s how I found myself being soaked in buckets of freezing cold water (thanks Roo!), clutching Eva’s hand to stop her running away while Nathan looked after the stuff and watched. I think he had the sweeter deal.



In case you’re wondering, yes – we did all spend most of the day in soggy clothes. That’s the combination of water play, river rides and rain for you. Lucky it was warm with it. Post Drench Towers though, I felt the need to put the kids in the change of clothes I’d brought and attempt to keep them semi-dry for our remaining 90 minutes or so. I had a beach dress to change into to, so bits of me were dry. I hadn’t brought an all-over change though. I’ll leave that thought there and strongly advise you do differently.

While I was changing, the kids were enjoying the Duplo Valley play area. I was most surprised to look for Eva and not find her in here:



Apparently she had a fire engine to be driving…well, who knew? She’s breaking out of her mould.

Time was running out but thankfully that meant the queues were getting shorter. We managed to squeeze in another three rides before the park closed  - the helicopters in Duplo Valley, the Fairytale Brook and the Atlantis Submarine Voyage. All three were good, but it was the Atlantis ride that stood out as being really special. It’s all indoors, and you step down into a submarine-shaped pod with glass panels at the bottom of the sides. As you move round, it becomes apparent that your bottom half is suspended in a water tank, filled with the ruins of Atlantis but also real live fish and…OMGoodness, was that a shark? Yes, it was. And some pretty impressive manta rays too. I can’t really do it justice and it was a no photos ride, thanks to the sensitivity of the fish, so I can’t prove to you how cool it was. Just believe me.


All of which brings us to the  very tame but very sweet Fairytale Brook, which seemed like a nice way to finish the day. All of Eva’s favourite characters appeared, although she thought this Cinderella looked more like Belle:


She has a point.

It wasn’t a very challenging ride but it was soothing after a long day and when we asked Eva about her highlights, she said “The DisneyTales ride”. I think Roo enjoyed it too, as he was laughing aloud at the antics of the seven dwarves.


We made it to the shop just before it closed and well, the first meltdown of the day happened. Not bad going at 6PM. The effects of  brunch had finally worn off, so we decided to find some dinner nearby before driving home. And where better than back to the Windsor Lad?

Look, I was very tired by this point…my brain had failed to come up with anything more original. They still welcome kids after 7PM, they have activity packs and unlimited bread rolls. Haters, hate away. But first have a look at what Eva drew while she waited for her meal:


So, Legoland then…exhausting, exhiliarating and definitely worth it. Don’t be afraid to spend the whole day there, from opening to closing, prepare for all eventualities, use the lockers and …enjoy yourselves!


Posted in Creating precious childhood memories or something (days out) | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Millfields Park – 27/05/16


I almost forgot to blog about this day, which would have been a pity because it was one of those rare days when Eva was in a good mood pretty much all the time. Except one breakdown, but that was reasonable…we’ll get to it in a bit.

Eva and I spend every Friday together – or at least we will until she starts school in September (#denial). But this Friday, we had a special guest – Nathan had sprung a surprise day off on us, and so two became three. Not four, as Reuben gloomily pointed out as we packed him off to school. Just the three of us.

I’d already asked Eva what she wanted to do for the day and she had a plan – she wanted to go “somewhere we not gone for a yong time” – Tumble in the Jungle. Imagine then, the disappointment on her yittle face when we got to Tumble and it was already closed for the Bank Holiday weekend. Yes, the breakdown is coming early on in this story…but to be fair to her, she didn’t shout and scream like she would do over an inappropriately opened yoghurt. She just crumpled and wept a little.

We needed a Plan B. We were near Wood St station so my mind zipped along the soft-play possibilities of the Chingford branch. It quickly alighted on Kidzmania, a soft play near Clapton that I’d been to twice on a Sunday afternoon, when it was heaving with small children. Turns out it’s much more pleasant on a Friday during term time, and we spent our full two hours there watching Eva play and lunching on cheesey chips and panini. This 2parents;1 child ratio is pretty sweet, isn’t it?

Afterwards, it was sunny and we had time to kill so we headed for a park we’d driven past a few times on the way back from church. Yes, along the miles-long bus jam of Lea Bridge Road is a surprisingly lovely green space: Millfields Park.



It’s huge – big enough for a lawnmower thing to be doing a decent speed across the grass. The play area is towards the back, handily located for Clapton station. It’s been recently revamped, though there’s an older part still and we can definitely see the join. The new part is all tree trunks and sand, including this novel entrance way:


As you can see, it’s not a super-accessible way of getting into the park but there is a normal gate on the other side of the playground. The sand area is pretty big, with a little hut in and a swing:


Plus this ingenious tree-climbing frame:


But there was plenty of fun to be had on the older, more metal-and-plastic bit too, like this curly slide:


And a bench shaped liked a train:


Which was a constant reminder that we needed to go and get the actual train so that we didn’t miss school pick up and leave Reuben there for the weekend. Hard to remember when the weather’s sunny and the girl is sunny and the parents outnumber the kids…it was a happy day.

But don’t worry, we got him back, we took him to a far crappier park near school and then Nathan went to the pub. So, all good.

More information here (official website)

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All-New Vauxhall City Farm – 03/06/16


You know that feeling when you’re trying to condense an entire half term into one day? Well, that was today. The kids have been away at the grandparents’ all week while Nathan and I worked, and I had this one day with them to show ‘em a good time. So we had to fit a lot in. You’ll be surprised to learn that we did, indeed, fit a lot in.

Join us as we fuel up for the day at Highams Lounge, right opposite Highams Park station. It’s a recently refurbished cafe that the kids like because it has novelty “bookshelf” wallpaper that they can pretend to take books from:



It also does huge milkshakes that are totally wasted on Eva because she drinks a few sips and then is done. But Reuben drained his as I drained my coffee and, having had a swift catch up with some friends, we were off to the City for a visit to a City Farm.

For complex reasons, we ended up catching the bus from Liverpool St to Oval and the children enjoyed it because we got to see London Landmarks such as the Gherkin, the Monument and Daddy’s Office. As we stopped at traffic lights on King William Street, near Bank, Roo and Eva had a discussion about what the “stripy building” beside us might be.

“There’s a cafe at the bottom, which is something I like” announced Reuben. I didn’t tell him that it was a Tossed, as Nathan has now taught the kids that you don’t win friends with salad.

“I think the rest of it is a soft play” decided Eva, somewhat optimistically.

Of course, who am I to tell her she’s wrong? For all I know there could indeed be a 3-storey soft play above a salad cafe in the City. If anyone could confirm one way or the other, the children and I would be most grateful.

Soon though, we were off the bus and wandering down our old ‘hood of Kennington Park Road, which has edged towards hipsterism since last I saw it. There was a new art supplies shop and a trendy coffee place –  hopefully there are still some families who can afford to live in the area in order to enjoy these things.

And the same thought applies to Vauxhall City Farm, which has had a spruce up and a brand new bit since last I saw it. We were there with Auntie Savage, on her lunch break, and she’d told us about the big new cafe they have there now. Given I spent two mat leaves trudging around VCF in the rain, I would have gladly welcomed a cafe back then…so I was curious to see what it was like.

Yes, it was big. I think I counted 11 tables plus a small play/reading area and a bit at the back where they were doing crafts. I have only the fuzziest of photos to show you but hey, at least I got my phone camera to work today (goodbye Guitar Tuna app…it’s been emotional):



Reuben settled into the corner to read a book, which was only slightly awkward as the bookshelf was behind the crawling babies…but he didn’t trample any of them:


In fact he outstayed most of the babies and claimed the area as his own:


Eva was sitting at the table, chatting to Auntie Savage. It was all going well…and then it wasn’t going quite so well.

It was 12:30 by this point but the place was packed out. Obviously others had had the same half-term idea. And so the lunch options were limited. There were a few sandwiches left, but nothing my kids would eat because they were all a bit on the fancy side (ham – tick for Reuben, cider chutney – not so much). There was a sign saying “Kids’ sandwiches” and a space on the blackboard for “Kids’ Hot Special of the Day” but both were empty. So I asked at the till, but there wasn’t much they could offer me. Eventually, after some negotiation, they agreed to provide a slice of rye toast along with my meal (the hot special – chicken and lentil stew).

I wasn’t sure this would go well and I was right to be unsure. Luckily I had packed an emergency stash of chorizo slices and mini sausages but the kids weren’t impressed by the rye bread and fussed about their chorizo touching the fancy butter. Eva pulled out her full repetoire of annoying table tricks – the nibbling without actually consuming, the putting food in and out of her mouth without touching the sides, the “I don’t yiiiiiiikkkkkkke it”. There were scenes.

Fortunately, all went better after lunch. We went to see the animals and they at least were not reluctant to feed. Defying the influence of both my father and Auntie Savage, I paid for some animal feed and we waved it in front of this chap here:


At which point, I turned round to see an old friend and suddenly the alpaca was half over the fence headbutting me to get his food. I was too surprised to get a photo, but luckily he re-enacted the moment later with Reuben:


Duck and cover, boy. Talking of which, the ducks have a new home:


So cute, with the bunting and the heart-shaped duck windows. This is one of the new bits, opposite the cafe and the flats on top of it. The rest of the farm looks much as it ever did, but the kids were very excited to run around and look at the guinea pigs, goats, bunnies and chickens.

Then we had a go at magic wand-making, back in the cafe:


Roo got bored of that long before Eva did, so he went back to his corner to read and then we went to the playground next to the Tea House:vx1

Naturally, I was very tempted by the idea of a cuppa and a sit down in the Tea House itself but time was moving on and we had a long journey home ahead of us. Little did I realise that the bit from Vauxhall to Walthamstow (43 minutes including a toilet break) would be shorter than the bit from Walthamstow to Highams Park (50 minutes, including a fallen tree on the line).  My phone was dead, the children were getting restless and we were all a little jaded by the time we got off a very slow-moving bus. The remedy? A glass of wine, a cup of coffee and a brownie at Pantry & Co. Yes, in that order and yes, it was an unusual combination but yes, it helped me get through the remainder of the day. You should try it.

So, a busy day and mostly fun with the exception of lunchtime tension. The cafe and renovations have hugely improved Vauxhall City Farm but they probably need to rethink their lunch offerings over busy periods if there’s going to be nothing left by half twelve. Still, I realise it’s only just opened and all new ventures have their teething problems. I’m sure it’ll find its way soon enough. Oh yes, and never forget you’re in Sarf London:


Posted in Food in cages! Walking around! Or maybe some alpacas! (Farms and zoos) | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

May Half Term Preview 2016

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Do you have a stressed out 7-year-old, who’s been stretched by SATS? Or a 4-year-old who says she has to “work hard but only when I’m writing in my book”? Well, don’t worry about busting them out of school for some mindless fun – they get kicked out for a week in a couple of days anyway. And, as ever, there is a plethora of Londony activities to keep them busy. Settle in, I’ll talk you through it.

First up, Chickenshed are hosting a party this Saturday, 28th May. It combines child-friendly performance with interactive workshops and a giant celebration in their ampitheatre. Find out more information here. Chickenshed are also performing at the Old Vic tomorrow morning but, let’s face it, I’ve left this a little late to plug given it’s almost bedtime.

More ongoing is the Roald Dahl event at the Southbank Centre – the Wondercrump World of Roald Dahl. It’s an exhibition on the life and work of the author but – massive disclaimer here – it is more for the Reuben end of the spectrum than the Eva. It’s not recommended for small children, as some content may be disturbing (like, yknow, all of Dahl’s works) and you can’t take buggies in.  It’s on till July, so hopefully Roo and I can go without the small and easily spooked one some time. For the older kids, it is said to be excellent so if you have one of those, definitely take a look.

On the other end of the age scale, the preschool delights of In the Night Garden are on tour. And over half term, the giant white dome lands in Blackheath. Have a look here for dates but they are selling out fast so get tickets quickly if your toddler needs their Upsy Daisy fix.

Also selling out quickly are the Big Fish Little Fish half term events. As far as I know, the National Gallery rave is sold out already but there are still a few tickets left for Stratford Circus on May 29th. BFLF events are always huge fun, so it’d make a great start to your half term. Plus, the kids are always really knackered afterwards so you might get a Bank Holiday lie in.

A couple more theatre shows to flag up before I finally give in and go to bed – the roving show by the Discover Centre continues to rove, with “The Librarian” hitting Woolwich Library on Tuesday 31st May til 4th June. More information here and my review is here. The Arts Depot in Finchley have some family shows on too – I like the sound of the ukulele-strumming “Boy and a Bear in a Boat“.  If that’s not enough, there’s a version of ursine classic “We’re Going on a Bear Hunt” at the Little Angel Theatre in Islington and “Meadow” at Polka Theatre in Wimbledon, featuring some handcrafted insect puppets.

Still not inspired? Well, you can take advantage of the “Kids Go Free” offer at the Orbit in the Olympic Park, then relax in the sandpit afterwards. Or go to the half term workshops at the Museum of Childhood. Or try out my Tabby McTat trail around London. Or…just stay home and play XBox. That’s probably what Roo will want to do…


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